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passive-aggresive apology
Mr M and I had a stupid fight this morning. Really stupid. It was about towels. He never hangs up towels so I once again had a wet, mildewy towel to use. I am cranky and usually he's not home when I discover this. It was a dumb thing to fight about. I was not nice. Neither was he.
We have to go to some stupid Girl Scout thing. Neither of us wanted to go, I think that made the fight worse. We agreed to suck it up and not talk about it. Right after we agreed to not talk about it, he said he didn't want to talk about it, but that he was sorry for his behavior.
Of course now I can't address why or how he hurt me, but he gets to feel better for apologizing.
And I already agreed not to talk about it.
RAGE. IMPOTENT, IMPOTENT RAGE.
I suck at this. Thanks for the vent.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
Re: passive-aggresive apology
Did he apologize to "win" or is it possible he just wanted to say he was sorry?
And yes, do you not have separate towels? Could you not have just got a dry towel?
I could and should have grabbed a dry towel. It was one of those "ah-ha! I just caught you doing this thing you say you don't do" moments. Real mature. I was more upset about his reaction. Apparently wanting a dry towel makes me a princess.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
You need more towels.
Oh man, that would make my blood boil.
I'm weird about having my own space, and that includes things like my towel, my pillow, etc. So something like this would really bug me. And besides on a space level, on a respect level too, since it sounds like he does it knowing it bothers you, and then denies it. I feel pissed off for you.
No! I finally got rid of all the old, falling apart, bleach stained towels. Now all of our towels fit in one load.
I'm feeling much calmer. When we agree not to talk about things it's just for right before and while we're around other people.
We did talk briefly about how best to approach things that bug the hell out of us. My method is to say something when it happens, but he thinks that right then maybe feelings are too immediate and it's more likely to lead to a fight. For me the point wasn't the stupid towel but whether I had a right to express my frustration and ask him to change his behavior. He agreed that I did, and he would feel the same in a similar situation, but we both need to work on how we approach it so we don't hurt feelings. Makes sense to me.
I think he's still hurt about my refusal to accept his apology so we might just keep our distance for the day. I hate that, I don't get enough time with him and it's the weekend. But I can't really tell him to not be hurt just because I find the timing inconvenient.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
I think it feels that way to me sometimes, but honestly it's because he doesn't pay much attention to what he's doing. Last night he changed Dimi's horrendous diaper and decided he just needed a shower. So he hopped in the shower, grabbed my towel, dropped it on the landing on the way to the nursery and didn't think to hang it up. After all, he was taking care of Dimi.
Given that I just typed out a full rant about the things I manage to do while taking care of Dimi, how Mr M feels when I don't do them, and what Mr M thinks is doing his part in the evenings, I think that might have something to do with my inability to let stupid damp towels go. But I don't know how to bring it up without getting ranty and when I get ranty Mr M gets dismissive. Cue sad trombone because I'd rather just swallow it then be treated dismissively. Wah-wah.
This is entirely too much angst over a damp towel, but damn it feels good to get it out there.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman