Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I love him, but...
Ok, as a rule I cannot stand male-bashing posts or the "men are so stupid" posts. However, even those of us who love our men dearly and think the world of them have those moments that you say, "Man, I love you but what the h3ll?
DH takes out the trash. He always tells me not to do it and truly feels he is saving me from a pretty yucky chore. But he never, ever checks the fridge when gathering all the trash to go out. So now in my fridge I have week-old chili, 6 day-old chicken, a moldy fruit cup, and a 4-day-old restaurant sandwich turning to mush. And they are all going to have to wait around somewhere until next Tuesday when garbage day rolls around again. I hate to put them in the garage garbage since it's going to be so hot and they'll reek! But then again, it's not like I can leave them in the fridge. I so miss living in a place that had garbage day twice a week.
I love you DH, but for the love of God, please check the fridge when you're taking out the trash.
Re: I love him, but...
My husband does the exact same thing! He never remembers to look in the fridge to see if there is anything that needs to be tossed. Although this is only a problem when he actually does take the trash out. He tends to "forget" that it's garbage night and I end up doing taking it out myself.
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"
Its funny you bring this up, b/c I swear I was just thinking about this the other day. I hate, hate, hate having to "remind" H things that I know he knows. It makes me feel like his mom, and I don't like to be her.
This completely. I feel like his mom and it drives me crazy.
When my husband was in bootcamp (and by bootcamp I mean his first marriage), he used to get yelled at for taking the trash out the wrong door. His point: "What difference does it make which door as long as the trash goes out?"
This is not helpful in the Case of the Stinky Fridge Stuff but it's what I always think of when I start to gripe about what he does (and he does plenty of things that make.no.sense) In fact, he would probably complain that I'm almost freakish in my need to throw things out that have overstayed their welcome. So it's because of my "issue" that things don't hang around long enough in the fridge to get stinky. In fact, I've been known to throw things out BEFORE they go bad and he gets peeved because he wanted to eat it apparently.
Before we moved in together years ago, someone gave us some advice: If you want the towels folded a certain way then YOU fold the towels. We even put it up on the fridge where it remains today. Lawdy has that saved some huge arguments over the years. Again, none of this solves the original issue you're having Moesten, but it seemed a good topic to share that phrase.
My DH does the same thing with the trash. He's getting better about it, but only about 50% of the time or 50% of the stuff that needs to be thrown out...
He has a habit of speaking to me but not facing me and so I can't hear him and then gets mad when I ask him to repeat himself. Or I will call his name or ask him a question and he won't answer so I will repeat myself and he will get annoyed because he DOES hear me - just freaking answer me then!
I know I have plenty of habits that annoy him though.
I totally live by this. Which is precisely why I almost never complain about the man and why I brought it here instead of to him. I will simply get the things into the trash next week before he takes it out. Just as when he loads the dishwasher "wrong" I just smile and run it. At least it's loaded.
But yes, I agree. Whenever I see posts about "DH doesn't do his share" I (almost) always think, "if you are the one with the higher standard of cleanliness then you had better be prepared to be the person who cleans at home."
Ok... I realize this might make some people mad, but please note that is not my intention!
If the garbage has to go out Tuesday night then maybe you should go through the fridge on Tuesday morning and clean it out! Ok, now let me explain a little more. I only say this because I am in the same boat. My H takes the trash out, but that's all he does... he doesn't give it any other thought. He empties all the garbage cans and takes it to the street. Now, I on the other hand, double check all the trash cans, the fridge, the freezer.. anything that I might need to take out. I think us girls do that.. we can think outside of the box. Not the guys... they can only have one thought at a time.
God love em! Again, hope I didn't sound too rude... it was just a thought I didn't know how to get out w/o sounding too bad.
OK, so...we're the opposite. I don't think I'm a messy person, but H gets nitpicky about stuff - the way I load the dishwasher, the way I squeeze the toothpaste, etc. And what really annoys me is that something will need done for a while (like, say, dishwasher needs unloaded) and suddenly he'll be compelled to do it (usually at 11pm or something ridiculous) and he'll get annoyed if I don't jump up to help him. (He's kind of an insomniac. I've had to steer him away from bringing up serious conversations at 11pm too.)
My take on housework is that if we slack during the week, oh well. We both work a lot and I want to relax when I get home from work, and we'll catch up over the weekend. This is usually unacceptable for H.
But...there are worse things! I lived with a past bf who was a mama's boy and didn't lift a finger to clean, and couldn't even cook spaghetti so I did EVERYTHING! So really, I can deal with cleaning when I'm tired in exchange for a cleaner house. And he's learning the times of the day that I'm functional so that we can work on getting stuff done together.
My H gets on me for this, too! I thought I was the only one. Its such an odd quirk. hehe
We are both super busy during the week, so neither of us really does a whole lot of cleaning. Over the past few years, I've gotten less and less concerned with keeping the house super clean; as long as we don't have crap laying all over the place and the noticeable items are kept up, I'm happy.
I'm picky about how the toothpaste gets squeezed too! Thankfully since we have split vanities in the master bath we each have our own toothpaste so it never comes up. There's that marital crisis averted! LOL
***********
I'm picky about how the toothpaste gets squeezed too! Thankfully since we have split vanities in the master bath we each have our own toothpaste so it never comes up. There's that marital crisis averted! LOL
***********
Separate toothpaste, separate laundry, separate computers...
These things have made life so much more peaceful for us!
We do sleep in the same bed.
A king size bed, of course, because anything smaller would mean trouble for us!
I agree with this most of the way... and I fully recognize that I have the higher standard of cleanliness,which is why I do 95% of the household cleaning/chores.
BUT, I think that there are some basic things that an adult should do for themselves--e.g., hang up your bath towel, don't throw it in a pile on the bed (this happens somewhat regularly in my house). Like some of the PPs, I feel more like a mother than a wife some days, and it does get frustrating. None of this is the end of the world... but it sure does wear me down some days!
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"