October 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What do you do when...
.... you really, really want to quit your job, but know that doing so would be irresponsible?
I feel so trapped by my job right now. My working environment has turned toxic. I would like to hang in there until I can finish my masters (next June) because of tuition discounts... but I don't know if I can do it.
Re: What do you do when...
Been there. You:
1. Start looking for another job, or somewhere else in the organization your can transfer to.
2. Stick it out until you are finished with school...I'll probably be where I am for at least a few years after I finish my masters because they pay back federal student loans in full.
I felt SO stuck in my last position, but once I had a window into another world and focused on my end goals I made it through. Not all days were great, not all were awful, but I survived! It got much easier once I had some direction. Good luck!
pinterest
Drink?
Man, that does kind of bite. Is your current job related to your masters degree? Could you transfer to a different department/job and still receive the tuition discounts?
If you really feel that you need to make that jump and leave your job then I would look at the difference between the discounted and the full tuition, and find a job that would cover the difference.
What is making it so toxic right now?
I could transfer to a different area, but I work for a small university with few opportunities to do so.
The toxicity comes from the relationship between my co-worker and myself. Being our team leader, she feels she has some supervisory rights, which she does. But her level of nitpicking makes me feel like I'm being babysat. When she disagrees with something I did (no matter how "in the right" I know I am), she doesn't have strong enough communication skills to discuss it without being entirely insulting.
If I didn't have to work with her, I would love my job. But it's getting so bad that I literally cried the morning back to work after Las Vegas, only because I knew I would have to subject myself to her presence. Other people have complained about her before. I think the general consensus of the office is that "Oh, that's just the way she is..." or "She's old...she can't change her ways..." That's unacceptable to me.
Is there anyone you can go to and talk about this? Like your team lead's manager? If it's a person that is causing you unhappiness and not your job duties or role itself then I think it may be something you have some control in changing. I had a similar situation with my supervisor at another job, raised the issues to her manager four different times and then quit because nothing changed. When I quit, I made it really clear why I was leaving and after I left my old supervisor was demoted. I guess I am suggesting you talk to someone about it before making any moves. And if nothing changes, take Angela's advice and transfer to another department (if you can).
Yeah, I'm with Nicole on this. Talk to someone or find out your grievance procedure. In the meantime, start looking for new opportunities.
I almost feel like filing a grievance will make it worse. I mean, I intend to talk to her boss (my "real boss") about this, but i know of at least three people who have brought up the same issue in the past, and nothing has happened.
That is really frustrating. Can you go in as a group or least bring in one more person with you to go complain. It says a lot when more than one person brings up an issue in the workplace together.
I am in this EXACT position now. It def sucks worse than you can describe. My toxic issue is my boss aka the owner of the company. I could go on for days about how horrible he is and the working environment and such, but I keep telling myself that I'm working on a bigger goal. I've been going to school p/t for the past 4 years and he doesn't know. I need this job to keep paying our bills until we can sell the house (hopefully it sells quickly when we list it after the new year), but after that I'm stepping up my search. I'm def trapped for a lot of reasons, but I'm trying really hard to focus on the good that I'm doing and how happy I will be one day.
I wish you the best of luck. Regardless, you have to make the best decision for YOU.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this right now. I can relate to the whole crying the day back after a Vegas trip because I did exactly that at my last job
I found something as soon as possible and took it even though it wasn't for sure a 'long-term' position.
I would definitely find out what the grievance procedure is for your workplace and think about pursuing that option. If you really feel like you can't file any sort of grievance I would seriously suggest looking elsewhere even if it isn't necessarily your 'forever' job. It's better to not deal with the BS than to be stuck in a position you hate. Would a part-time position be possible for your family right now?
GL!
Groups are WAY more powerful than a single person...mostly because then the supervisor knows that other people were in the room and "witness" to the discussion. It's harder to hide your lack of response in that situation.
I look at it like being pregnant. I swear I was miserable from the day after I got pregnant right up until the minute she was born. I threw up for 9 months, swelled up like a balloon, broke out, was nasty tempered, had greasy hair and literally gained 99 pounds. So, I always figure that if I can survive nine months of that, then I can survive nine months of whatever else life throws at me. And just like being pregnant, you get a bonus at the end. In your case, your masters and getting to bolt for a new job!
It's all in perspective...