Oklahoma Nesties
BoyMom21
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Let's get real about your marriage. POLL.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now?
Do you think you need couples counseling?
What's the issue you fight about the most?
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now?
Confessions?
Re: Let's get real about your marriage. POLL.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? Right now I think we are at a 7 1/2. But it could change who knows.
Do you think you need couples counseling? I don't think so
What's the issue you fight about the most? Me wanting to stay home
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Not at the moment
Confessions? I think what has helped our marriage so much is we do sleep in seperate rooms. After working with him all day its nice to have time to myself and also a whole bed (mainly because he snores really bad). When we get to missing eachother at night then we do sleep in the bed but most of the nights we sleep seperately.
Do you think you need couples counseling? No, I think our communication is pretty good right now despite our issues.
What's the issue you fight about the most? We've been arguing lately about things regarding B's discipline (I think H is hard on him, isn't patient enough...he's two FFS). We are doing a lot of bickering about stupid *** too, which drives me crazy. Like if I use the wrong tone he snaps at me, or vice versa. We got into the other day about me forgetting to take his dry cleaning...he made a passive aggressive comment about it and I took it to the next level. Oh, dry cleaning.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? One best friend has been divorced about a year, my bestie from HS is in the process of getting one, and another is considering that route
Confessions? Since we've been bickering so much here lately, we've had a TON of sex. Like, four times since Sunday. My vagina is tired.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? An 8. We have a lot of background noise in a our marriage and to be honest, a year ago we were at a 3. I am glad that we have swam through all the crap and have learned to turn to one another.
Do you think you need couples counseling? ALL couples need marriage counseling. It is GLORIOUS!!!
What's the issue you fight about the most? DH's parents. They have no boundaries and are incredibly narcissistic. They are also perpetual liars and to be honest, I think he should call them out on it. Who cares if it "gets us nowhere" - I want them to know that we are on to them! We don't really speak to them much anymore and DH feels this is punishment enough but...I don't like people treating me like I am stupid - and they do.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? No, thank God.
Confessions? No, not really. We are relatively happily married even though I am a total drama queen. As I mentioned above, we have a lot of background noise (his parents, baby mama, SD) but we have really tried to take a lesson from each incident. Most importantly, we really LIKE one another. We are best friends - my choice, not because we have to be. Overall, we are really happy.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? I'd say a solid 8. We're on a really good roll right now.
Do you think you need couples counseling? I don't know that we need it, need it... but I'd like to have it. I feel like we have a hard time communicating sometimes, and from the views on marriage counseling from this board, I'd really like to try it out sometime.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Um... money and H's flip-flopping between wanting a baby right now and not wanting a baby right now. He goes through periods and it's annoying as hell.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Nope. None at all, actually.
Confessions? I enjoy the weeks that H works nights. It's only 3 nights a week when he's on nights (which is every other week), so it's not like I'm alone the entire week. But, it allows me to just be. I can catch up on my DVR'd shows, I can do homework while sitting on the couch (instead of in the office away from the TV), etc. Basically, I can do whatever I want and not have to worry about what H wants to eat/watch on tv, etc. It's nice.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? Probably at about a 7. I'd give it an 8 if we'd actually been together in the same place for longer.
Do you think you need couples counseling? Yes - and we probably will once we move and settle. The Air Force offers that for free, I think.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Money. I handle all the finances, and he just spends money and never checks his balance - so he overdraws and doesn't even know. It's been driving me batty, and that's pretty much all we argue about nowadays. We also argue about his mom and sister, but we won't go there. It'll get me too heated.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Not at the moment. All of my friends are in really solid marriages, which is awesome. The others are commitment-phobic and refuse to even say the word.
Confessions? We should've waited to get married. The second he told me he was going into the Air Force, I should've postponed the wedding. I love him and still want to be his wife, but we haven't spent much time together in the same place - and he's been gone since April and will be at our new duty station for a good 8-9 months before I make the move myself. We've worked through a TON of crap together, and our relationship/marriage is better for it, but...we should've waited.On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? We're in a really good place right now. I don't live my life out on the nest, so no on here knows, but I never thought I would have to deal with the things that were thrown at us this past year. We've come out on the other side stronger, better communicators, and just so thankful for each other. I give us an 8.
Do you think you need couples counseling? We could benefit from it due to the aforementioned outside forces this past year, but do we "need" it? Probably not.
What's the issue you fight about the most? A personality difference that leads to misunderstandings and miscommunication. This is the catalyst for most heated discussions.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? No.
Confessions? I sleep so much better when we sleep in separate beds. I wake up happy and ready to see DH.On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? I would say a very solid 8. In the last year we have really grown as a couple. In the 9 years we have been together and the 3 we have been married, this is the first we have lived together. We have been living together a year now and it is still so good...we hardly fight any more.
Do you think you need couples counseling? Do think we need it? No...would I be opposed if I thought we need it? No...I feel like if we love each other we should be willing to fight for what we have if it starts to go bad.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Babies...we have so many friends KU right now that it really makes me want one. I know I am ready and I have been for a while. D not so much...he keeps saying we are too young but I feel 25 isn't that young...
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Actually yes I do...a good friend of mine from nursing school is getting one. We (our group of friends) knew it would happen sooner or later. She said before they got married that if it didn't work out there is always divorce. Big red flag to not right there...
Confessions?
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? Pretty strong, 8. Our marriage isn't suffering, just us, mostly from all of the random things that keep happening that require us to pay to have them fixed!
Do you think you need couples counseling? Nah.
What's the issue you fight about the most? We don't really fight about it, but money, mostly because of the above issues. Last night both the steam cleaner (brand new...thanks IL's for returning it BROKEN) and the kitchen light died. We feel like we can't catch a break. H also has issues with respecting my space, which I typically need a lot of.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? I might be. One is on the verge. My sister just went through hers and is dating again.
Confessions? I still kind of hate H for being able to lose weight so much more easily than me. He's within 15 pounds of me and it's frustrating for me. I know he can't help it, but it's just not fair!On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? 9. We have a great relationship. Sure, we argue sometimes, but we always work things out, and we always have fun together.
Do you think you need couples counseling? No, but if we ever did need it, I wouldn't be against it.
What's the issue you fight about the most? We don't really fight. If we do it's over something stupid.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? H's brother might be, but they are trying to work things out.
Confessions? H started his new job and is on his second shift away. I don't like that he's gone so much, but I am glad I can be more involved at college without feeling bad that I am not home with him.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? 8.
Do you think you need couples counseling? Yes. I think everyone can benefit from counseling.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Communication problems. It could be any issue, but if we don't communicate about it properly it can easily turn into an argument. I need to bite my tongue more, and he needs to speak his mind more.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? "Friends?" Not that I can think of. But I do know someone going through a divorce right now (the same woman I posted about the 'divorce shower' or w/e you wanna call it)
Confessions? **edit** I just deleted all that. I guess I needed to vent... but it's a little too personal for the interwebz.On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? Right now? Maybe a 7 - 7.5. Our relationship used to very strong when we had God in the center of it. But since we left our old church, we've been lazy lately and haven't really been praying together or studying the Bible together. BUT I'm pretty sure we found a new church! Hopefully we'll get back on track!
Do you think you need couples counseling? I don't think we need it, but I would like to do couples counseling. It sounds like a good way to prevent problems.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Cleaning. DH doesn't help as much as I would like.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Nope
Confessions? Part of me wishes we had waited until after college to get married. Only because I could've only worked part time during school and I would be finished by now. But, the other part of me is glad we got married when we did. We were ready and I was so so so glad I didn't live with my parents when the divorce was going on.
Kaylee & Cole 06.14.08
8/6/11 First 5k! OG&E Expo Run 34:47
9/3/11 Brookhaven Run 5k 34:18
9/17/11 Healthy Sooners Fun Run 5k 33:38
10/15/11 Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 33:31
10/29/11 Monster Dash 5k 32:06 PR!
11/11/11 Veteran's Day Run 11k in Dallas 1:13:15 Instant PR!
1/28/12 Texas Half Marathon 2:38:03 Instant PR!
3/25/12 Earlywine Dash
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? At least a 9.
Do you think you need couples counseling? No
What's the issue you fight about the most? Selling the house has been stressful. It is directed at the realtor, but I can't tell her what I think so I tell H.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? No.
Confessions? Nothing really.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? I'd say an 8 or 9. We've had a lot of bad stuff happen in the last year. (deployment with some very bad situations a few times, building a house and worst my Dad dying last month without any kind of warning or reason and entirely too young.)
Do you think you need couples counseling? Not right now but I think with the right counselor its a really good thing. Unfortunately we got a hold of a douchebag for pre-marriage counseling and she ALWAYS took his side and I thought they weren't supposed to take sides...
What's the issue you fight about the most? DH has this delusion that he does "so much housework" and yeah. He doesn't. He does the dishes when they finally get so bad he can't argue about it but he does nothing else.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? no.
Confessions?I can't stand the heifers I work with. If you hate being a nurse so much, don't be one! This is one of those jobs where your heart has got to be in it otherwise don't even bother IMO.On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? 8.
Do you think you need couples counseling? I don't think we need it, but I think we could probably benefit from it. This pregnancy and trying to get the house sold is putting a lot of stress on our marriage right now.
What's the issue you fight about the most? house stuff. I think it just needs to look nice and get on the market and get sold. He wants it to be perfect. I'm not saying that I want him to do crap work, but its things like I don't think the closets need to be retextured because we don't like the texture. I say just paint them and move on!
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? no, I have one friend who is divorced, but I really think it was a good thing since he loved the bottle more than her.
Confessions? This pregnancy is really stressing us out. We weren't planning on having anymore kids and our insurance sucks right now so if something happens to any of us it would be bad. H is making less money at his new job and I know it puts a lot of stress on him that he knows he has to feed 4 additional people instead of 3 soon. Plus, we feel like we need more space and there is just not a good time to sell this house so we just have to figure out the least sucky time. Each time I have been pregnant/we have had a baby it has put a stress on our marriage and I know we will be fine in the end, I just don't like this stage so much. It makes me really glad we had a solid marriage before.
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? I would say an 8.
Do you think you need couples counseling? Sometimes, because H thinks just becuse he works and makes more $$ than me he can go out and buy anything and I should be OK with it. He is not like this all the time but he can be a total asshat when he starts it. When does this I feel like saying so I go to work 8 hours a day for nothing, like I don't bring in money too!
What's the issue you fight about the most? Money! It was so much more peacefull when we had seperate accounts.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Nope
Confessions?
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? I would say an 8. Over the past 6 months dealing with this unemployment we could have been a 5 or 6 but we had a talk a few months ago that we need to pull together and not apart and communicate more. H has been really great about helping out with the house and Conner when he's home and going to our weekly birthing classes have been really good for us.
Do you think you need couples counseling? not right now. We have gone in the past to work through some issues and I think it really helped a lot. I would really love to go on a couples' retreat with our church or something b/c I think that would be a great experience.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Chores or helping out. I get into nesting and I want something done RIGHT NOW or him trying to man cave it up instead of hanging with me and Conner. Things have been a lot better though and we are focusing on togetherness.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? no
Confessions? nothing I can think of
On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your marriage right now? I'd give my relationship a 9. We are very happy and have a lot to be thankful for.
Do you think you need couples counseling? No. Maybe at some point in the future if our relationship is really tested or we go through a rough patch, but we don't need counseling currently.
What's the issue you fight about the most? Cleaning/organization.
Do you have any friends going through a divorce right now? Yes, but we are friends with only one of the parties involved.
Confessions? I worry that marriage might ruin our relationship. Even though we're together forever, I wonder whether marriage will change things for the worse.