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question about oral
Hi,
My husband and I had oral sex before we got married. I was a virgin in every other way before the wedding. I asked him yesterday why since the wedding he didn't do it anymore (because I LOVE it), and he said that since becoming sexual active, the aroma and taste have gotten very strong and he no longer likes it (when he used to love the taste).
I pretty much need it to have an oragsm, and now he flat out does not want to do it. I don't want to make him if it tastes bad, but I need it in order to feel satisfied. He will do it if I ask, but I seem to have to ask now.
So I guess my question is, is it normal for the taste, and smell to change once you become sexually active?
I don't appear to have any infections. Could this be related to having a IUD inserted in May (was not able to have oral between then and until after the wedding)?
I have tried to look on the internet, but I can't find anything.
Thanks!
Re: question about oral
Hi......My wife and I were the same. But from my experience nothing changes and I am pretty sure nothing medically has occured to change anything. What we do is have flavoured lube handy and apply it prior to me starting my "business". Not only will it add flavour but add extra lubricant as well. This will adress both of your conerns. Find a flavour both of you like as you can both use it and enjoy. I very much enjoy providing that service and my heart rate goes through the roof as soon as I see that bottle of lube come out, or smell the scent of it. It is also a clear indication what she is interested in. And it is a huge turn on to watch her apply that lube or arrive home and find it already applied and waiting. My favourate flavour is raspberry but it comes in many flavours. Hope this helps and enjoy.
James
...ohhh and I forgot to add. I talked my wife into going completely "bare" down there. I know this may raise some issues with some women, but personally it is alot easier to provide that "service" when there is as little as possible in the way. It makes my job eaiser, as I can breathe easier, nothing is getting in the way. I can focus on the job at hand and for me it is alot more pleasant. I have talked to several female friends and they all have reported the same. They get more oral sex and far better service when they keep themselves completely "bare' down south. Using a lube is also alot nicer. Just a suggestion. Good luck.
James
The only thing I can think that would change the scent like that is if you have an infection or if you're on a different diet. but I'd use james's suggestion and try getting him to use a flavoured lube on you before he goes down on you (just use a very little amount though...that stuff can be brutally over powering!) and I would get him to put it on you (IMO much more fun to put it on the other person) or have him go down on you right after a shower when you're nice and fresh.
and bah to the shaving yourself completely bare, I need to leave a little patch or I feel like I look like a child..and that just makes me feel creepy and the opposite of sexy. Although I can see PP's point :P
have him go down on you right after a shower when you're nice and fresh.
This.
With this in mind, I'm wondering if the OP's IUD might have something to do with it, as most birth control methods will mess with your cycle a little bit, but when I had my IUD inserted I pretty much stopped having periods altogether after a month or so. It might be possible that if the IUD has altered her cycle at all then that may be affecting her scent and taste. Just a thought.
Personally, my fianc? says that the taste is a little weird, and he's never been all that comfortable giving me oral. I may suggest the flavored lube. That's a great idea!
I'd have to agree with PP. When DH and I have sex a few days/times in a row (he always finishes in me), there's a slight change in smell. This, I would assume, would then mean a change in taste.
As for it being the only way that you can climax? If you were a virgin when you got married, then it seems as though you just need to get more comfortable with sex. The more you do it, the more familiar with your body you will get as well as your DH. I have no problem climaxing if I'm on top, but I never used to be able to finish lying on my back. That frustrated DH and he read up on what he could do differently to help me out. Needless to say, we tried a few different techniques and *BAM* I did. It doesn't happen every time...but it still does.
Just keep practicing and learning more about each others' bodies. You'll get there.
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* After 22 months and 2 failed IUIs, we finally got our BFP *
DS delivered naturally at 41w6d on 4/18/14
This. I notice a difference in scent after one night.
I agree with all PP's.
In addition, douche. Depending on how often you're having sex and he finishes inside you, you might want to do this once a week or twice a month... Once after your period is helpful too. You don't want to do it too often, because you'll kill the good bacteria inside you, but using a gentle or light vinegar douche with no other additives works well. (This also helps if you start to feel a yeast infection coming on. Vinegar kills yeast). This helps flush all those "left overs" out of you that are causing the stronger scent and bad taste.
I said left overs. I'm so not hungry now...
I would not douche. This is not a good idea.
Make sure you don't have an infection. Know that sperm will change the taste. Do a quick bird bath before going to bed at night. Keep things trimmed, but no need to go bald. GL.
Also, something that wasn't mentioned in this post is your diet. If you have a diet full of asparagus, broccoli, onions or other pungent vegetables or sauces, part of the way your body eliminates "waste" products (being items it does not have a use for in keeping you alive and healthy) is through mucus membranes, and the vagina is one big mucus-producing organ location. Your natural lubricant may, therefore, be exhibiting these unappealing flavors. Try, about 30 - 45 minutes before an expected romp, to eat something sugary, like fruit or candy. Nothing milky like ice cream as that may also pose a problem, I've heard. Also, because this works with food, the hormones released from your IUD may also play a role. All the above suggestions are great immediate changes you can do, but sit back and examine your diet and google this idea a little.
Best of luck!
Oh, and in addition to trying woman on top positions, I've found that the more worked up I am prior to having sex, the easier it is for me to orgasm, even vaginally. Foreplay is highly recommended, as well as sending little "love notes" via text, or dirty voicemails (if you're comfortable. I haven't graduated past text yet). He will appreciate these too.
I've also been told to try missionary with a pillow under your bum to give a different angle of penetration. This may help you as well as putting your ankles to his shoulders (while in missionary position). Legs don't need to be as close together, but he may like that, and I've had much success there as far as vaginal orgasms go. Hope it works out for you!
DON'T DOUCHE!!! There is no medical reason for it, and it's bad for you. I was an idiot and douched when I thought I just wasn't "fresh" and I really had a bacterial infection. The problems this caused me are too disgusting to mention. And here's an article to back me up:
http://www.thebody.com/content/art941.htmlHi Everyone,
Thank you for you opinions and advice. The more I think about it, beyond penatration, the only different variable is the IUD. I think I am going to talk to my Doctor and see if that is what is causing the pungent oder and taste...I did notice the smell today even more than usual, and I think the hormones in the IUD are probably the cause. Thanks to everyone!