Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Has anyone been to a sex therapist?
Has anyone ever been to a sex therapist?
I have been half considering one for probably about a year... but I want to know if anyone has ever been to one, and if it helped their sex life or not. Our problem is that he's always up for it and I never am. We are perfectly open to talk about it, but haven't found any solutions for my problem! Should we bring a professional into the mix?
Re: Has anyone been to a sex therapist?
Have you ruled out anything physically wrong with you first? If you have gotten a full physical and everything checks out, then yeah I'd see a sex therapist because sex for women is very mental.
Have you had any trauma in your life that would hinder your desire?
Ditto the full physical workup. A lot of endocrinological problems can effect sex drive. Your thyroid could be inhibiting your sex drive as could some pituitary problems. I would also look to any hormonal birth control as a possible problem source.
How recently did this problem start? Were you more into sex in the past and this period of no sex drive is a clear deviation from your normal sexual pattern? Before this spell, were you and your husband (then BF) having a satisfying sex life? With previous partners, were you satisfied with your sex drive/frequency?
Are you orgasmic, alone or with your husband? Does it take you longer to orgasm than it used to? Are you experiencing any pain or unusual dryness? Are your periods different (heavier, lighter, more or less frequent) than when you started having sex with your husband?
A licensed sex therapist isn't going to have sex with you and your husband. (That is a sexual surrogate) The sex therapist would participate as a normal talk therapist, but would focus on the sexual issues. He/She would likely ask lots of questions, then give you exercises to do at home to get around or beyond your sexual issues.
Sex is a huge part of the human psyche. It is tied to our feelings of worth and attractiveness and interconnection. Good for you for being open to seeking a solution to this issue before it becomes a big chasm in your relationship.