So my ex-friends...

wingedbride · September 2010

I have been stalking her FB and she is going out almost every night. Pictures show only her friends, no husband. And when people mention her H, she says he didn't go.

He has been silent since he texted me asking if he should know something.

Saturday night we went to see Rush, which was the concert they were supposed to go to with us.

We don't know if they are together or not.

I miss them. I miss what we had. So does Mr. Winged. We are the sad.

We are also worried about him, since he had depression. I was hoping my silence would be a sign that it was what he thought. it could be and they could be split up and just she is not mentioning it on FB. But, he could be sitting at home. alone. with no friends and a cheating wife. Like some country song.

So, Mr. Winged and I talked about it at lunch today and he texted him just to say he missed him and hoped things would work out so we could see him again.

To be continued..

Novemberrocks · September 2010

That's got to be so rough. To see someone you care about going through this. I'm glad Mr. Winged texted him - he may be in desperate need of a friend right now.

Kamikaze3 · September 2010

I think Mr. Winged's text was a good thing to do. I feel so bad for her H, and you guys too of course. I wonder what she tells people as the reason you guys don't talk. It obviously made her H think something was up so I am sure other people do to.

CaliopeSpidrman · September 2010

I have my fingers crossed that you guys start talking again. He needs you.

FallinAgain · September 2010

I think at a certain point you have to ask yourselves what you are accomplishing by refusing to hang out. It seems to me that you are punishing you, your H, and her H in an attempt to not lie by omission to her H by not telling him what you know. I know it is difficult to know that he is being cheating on, but I'm not sure you're doing him a lot of favor by cutting him out too. So now he has a cheating wife and no longer has two friends.

jens_a_ten · September 2010

I missed the update where the husband texted and asked if there was anything he should know. I would find it extremely difficult to not say something in that situation-- where the innocent person is clearly reaching out.

I hope that you two end up being able to salvage the relationship with the husband and the kids. I'm glad your husband reached out to him, he probably needs the support right now, regardless of what his official status with his wife is.

TSD · September 2010

FallinAgain:
I think at a certain point you have to ask yourselves what you are accomplishing by refusing to hang out. It seems to me that you are punishing you, your H, and her H in an attempt to not lie by omission to her H by not telling him what you know. I know it is difficult to know that he is being cheating on, but I'm not sure you're doing him a lot of favor by cutting him out too. So now he has a cheating wife and no longer has two friends.

I agree.

SarahBethBR · September 2010

I'm also glad you guys reached out. Since she's going out all the time, hopefully the three of you can hang out and salvage his friendship.

wingedbride · September 2010

Fallin I really felt that, given time, she would tell him. And so I never felt it would get to where we are now. But she has cut me off and feels betrayed so I am not sure that could be salvaged. Also I do not like the person she is right now and don't want to be around her party lifestyle. But now things are changing. We feel like liars and we feel like we have abandoned him. It is really hard. So we are trying to work our way through this to save something.

wingedbride · September 2010

jens_a_ten:
I missed the update where the husband texted and asked if there was anything he should know. I would find it extremely difficult to not say something in that situation-- where the innocent person is clearly reaching out.
I hope that you two end up being able to salvage the relationship with the husband and the kids. I'm glad your husband reached out to him, he probably needs the support right now, regardless of what his official status with his wife is.

it was hard to t tell but I thought she would and I felt it was best to come from her. Now it appears she really isn't going to tell. Sorry my responses are choppy. Nesting on the iPhone is hard.

FallinAgain · September 2010

Maybe you can simply say that while you don't feel comfortable discussing your friendship with her, you do not feel that you can be her friend given her recent choices but that you guys want to continue to be friends with him. Maybe he'll assume it's the partying. I don't think you are under an obligation to tell him what she told you in confidence. At the same time, it's not as though you are pretending everything is ok. Maybe it's a good solution.

salimoo · September 2010

I think you guys made the right decision after the initial blowup and it's great that you're willing to adjust that based on the changing situation. I hope he accepts you reaching out.

noisy_penguin · September 2010

Fallin should start a business where she tells people what to say in awkward situations.

_Fenton · September 2010

I don't think you even need to reference her "choices." I would just say, "You obviously know we're not talking and if you want details, you'll have to get them from her. I feel like it's not appropriate to discuss this with you when she's not present."

So my ex-friends...

Re: So my ex-friends...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards