Sex & Romance
Briana at Lake George - July 2007
My other baby - Jovany - Lake George - July 2007
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No flame please...just curious to know
For many years I have fantasized about having a threesome....has anyone experienced it? If so any comments are appreciated. I can't believe all comments are negative about it. The thought of inviting another woman with my husband is exciting for me...the whole thing is such a turn on.
thank you
Briana at Lake George - July 2007
My other baby - Jovany - Lake George - July 2007
Re: No flame please...just curious to know
My H wants it, but I won't do it. We tried it once and I freaked out and couldn't go through with it. I just can't stomach the idea of another man/woman touching me the way my H does.
It's perfectly normal to fantasize about it. I don't, but everyone is different. Talk to your H and see if he's open about it too. A lot of guys are.
OP, I think that if you try to go through with this, you will quickly find out that some fantasies are better left at that- fantasies. Rarely ever will it work out in real life the way that you have envisioned it in your mind.
Have you shared this fantasy with your H? Maybe you could try talking your fantasy out together sometime when you're having sex. That way you can fantasize together with no risk of feelings of infidelity or betrayal.
This exactly
Totally agree! And yes, I have done it before. I enjoyed it because I'm Bi and I was the one that got to play with another girl. There were tons of rules and stuff but it's not worth the headache. Keep it as a fantasy and believe me you will enjoy it SO much more!!!
I honestly think people who engage in threesomes, while in a relationship, are unfulfilled in that relationship.
There are PLENTY of ways to spice up your sex life, with just the two of you, without having to bring in a third person to complicate things.
STRONGLY disagree with this. It's not always about being unfulfilled or spicing things up. Some people don't connect sex and emotions. It is actually a stronger relationship then a couple who does not engage in threesomes because of the level of trust and many other things. People who fantasize about it shouldn't do it because the reality is a lot harder then they think. Believe it or not there are a lot more couples doing this then you realize.
I STRONGLY disagree with you! A difference in opinion about threesomes does not a stronger relationship make. Sure- you could compare one aspect of a relationship between two couples, but does that mean that one relationship is stronger than the other based on that one aspect alone? I hardly think so.
We can agree to disagree all day but the point is there is much more to threesomes then just wanting to do it on a whim. People don't realize what goes into making the decision to engage in this lifestyle.
I do agree with this point. I'm just saying that just because your values and/or morals are different from others' doesn't mean that your relationship is in any way greater, stronger, or better than another's. I could easily say that my relationship is stronger because we don't feel the need to let another person in; he is all I need, and I am all he needs. We get sexual fulfillment from each other. But I do know that this does not make my opinion fact.
::**::butting in::**::
I believe it, and I also believe in higher divorce rates. I'm not saying they're directly related, but to include a 3rd person in a marriage often leads to more problems, not less.
I think that it's definitely something not to be considered lightly. The negative comments that I've read often stem from people who have been there, done that, and came away with a healthy respect for how difficult it can be in reality.
What I've read from those who have done it successfully, a threesome requires a lot of ground rules and a great deal of discussion within the initial couple to find out what each one is comfortable with. I suspect that that sucks a lot of the "fantasy" aspect out of it for a lot of people. It's not this inhibition-less, no-holds-barred fling, but rather a carefully orchestrated creation.
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This is exactly the point I was trying to make, you just said it way better then I did lol! It means you have to have an incredibly strong relationship to begin with and it has to be even stronger when you are in this situation.
I recently answered a question about threesomes on my blog. Click my siggy, look for the post titled "Where The Towels Are His and His and Hers".
I don't think threesomes are incompatible with marriage, but everyone involved has to be enthusiastic about the idea, and ground rules MUST be established long before you make any other plans. Opening up your relationship takes a ton of talking, complete honesty, and an absence of other problems. Only people in very good, very strong marriages should consider this kind of thing, because otherwise, it is the crack that starts a break.
Ok, so I almost never post. The last time I posted anything was when I got married 4 years ago. That being said. I have had SEVERAL threesomes with my DH. And I LOVE them. I would say they do not work for most people, it takes the actual desire to see your partner please someone else, it takes your actaul attraction to another woman/man, and it takes a lot of trust.
You cannot go into it unsure. It has to be something that you both really want. I would be willing to talk to anyone who was intersested in trying this with their partner. It takes work to find the right person to join, but when you do its magic (IMO).
And for those who are against it: I have been married 4 years, together 7 years, very happy, professional couple, stable, no cheating etc. This is not something we do everyday, but its something we enjoy often enough. I am bi. My marrige is as strong if not stronger than many others I have seen. Nothing is lacking.
There is a lot of judgment about it, but I am a to each his own kind of person.
Ditto that!
People who are too emotional about sex will never get the thrill of a threesome.
H and I have had many, I guess, "successful" threesomes with different women and we've never had one end up bad, and nothing horrible or bad has happened to our relationship.