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Hi, I need advice or I guess just reassurance?
My husband and I are separated. Or marriage was pretty distant/not good for a while before we actually separated. I have been seeing a new guy for a few months. New guy and I are very sexually compatible, quite unlike my husband I.
I have always had a problem having an orgasm- almost every time I have sex, I don't have one. Last night new guy and I were having sex, and I came twice (great!). The second time was like out of this world awesome, really WOW. The issue (maybe it's not an issue though?)- he had his hand around my neck. Not hard or hurting or dangerous, but there like that, in that position- you know what I mean? Grabbing my throat. Is this totally weird? Am I totally weird? I've never done that, never had a guy do that. I want him to do it again.
Re: Hi, I need advice or I guess just reassurance?
Of course not. It sounds like it turns you on, and obviously he has no problem with it, so go for it.
Disclaimer - I am only saying that the above is okay because he was not actually choking you. Auto erotic asphyxiation is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS and is NOT something you should do, ever. It is very easy for someone to die like this (David Carradine?), and the last thing you want is to die for sex, and for your poor BF to possibly be charged with manslaughter or murder, not to mention the terrible guilt he would feel.
If this isn't MUD....
No it isn't weird its a very common kink generally called breath-play. It is however EXTREMELY risky and it is generally a very bad idea to have a hand around your throat as it can either crush your windpipe or damage the cartoid artery and cause death.
The "safer" way to do it is using a hand over the mouth and nose instead, which is still risky ESPECIALLY if you're doing this with someone who doesn't know you and your body signals all that well.
If you're going to do it, make sure you two have some kind of signal to make sure he doesn't accdentally kill you and you both know what you're getting into.
I don't know, a hand over my mouth and nose doesn't sound good- although I guess a pretend strangle didn't either, before last night.
Maybe the previous poster is right- I just liked the (light) domination thing. I was on top (is this tmi?) and he reached up and put his hand around my throat.
I have never had a guy do this. My husband was always so- gentle (blah!).
It's a sex board. There's very little that's TMI. If that's your thing, then go for it. Just be sure to have a talk with your BF so you're both on the same page.
My question is did he have his hand around your neck or was he behind you and kind of had his hand on/around your neck/chin supporting your head up and back (like if someone was pulling your hair from behind)?
edit: Ahh, I get it now
In that position with you on top maybe next time have his hand more grabbing your chin/face than your neck.
In a missionary position, him using one hand to tightly cover your nose/mouth works surprisingly well as long as he knows when to remove it before you pass out.
Wow really?
Next question then, is that freaky that a guy would want to choke (or pretend to choke) his partner during sex?
Definitely not freaky to like being choked. Just like a few other posters, I like it also. It's a domination thing, some woman like feeling dominated by their man in bed sometimes.
And it's not freaky that a guy would want to choke their lady during sex. Men often like to be dominant and that is one way they express it.