sex after children

Re: sex after children

• heatherglen814

  September 2010

  We just had our first DD about a month ago. Right now, we're still waiting for my IUD. I think you might want to post this on The Bump, too. Maybe in the 0-3 month and 3-6 month boards. GL

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• iluvmytxrgr mod

  

  September 2010

  Your hormones are going to be wacky for a bit after you have your baby.  You are going to feel more like a utility than sexy woman.  Sex is not going to be your top priority.  With that being said, after a few months, we were right back on track.  We have four kids and have no issues with our sex lives except when the Army sends one of us off. 

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• pechezncreme06

  September 2010

  I might be a special one, but after I healed up from having my daughter I could not wait until I got my IUD put in so we could hit the sack. During pregnancy, I wanted sex all the time, but DH was reluctant because of his fears of hurting the baby. Having sex with a pregnant woman was just wierd to him, and I respected that. I thought that after having the baby things would go back to normal, however after DH watched my vaginal birth, he had a bit of trouble having sex with me, because of it. It took him a bit to get over it. Since then, things have been great. This is just how things have happened for us. Everyone is different, so your experience may be too. HTH!

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• vls80

  

  September 2010

  I usually just lurk, but wanted to respond here. I have 2 kids, and each experience was different. After my first, it took a long time to get even a semblance of a sex life back. I had a really rough labor/recovery. We didn't even try to have sex for 12 weeks and it was so painful. We really had to ease back, and I felt horrible about myself. Plus, I was exhausted all.the.time. After my 2nd, things were so much better. I had sort of found my groove as a mom, lack of sleep didn't affect me quite so much. Delivery with him was so much easier and recovery was a breeze compared to the first time. We waited about 7 weeks and it was fine. Now, he is 1 1/2 and our sex life is better than it was before we had kids. We've been together a while (10 yrs, married almost 6), and our communication has gotten better about what we want/need. I was also really insecure about all the changes my body went through for a while and just felt so un-sexy. DH was such a good guy about it, and I got over myself. We've always had good sex, and it's important to us both not to put that (and just being intimate in general) in the back burner. Sometimes this means a quickie while the kids watch tv. I think you just have to be prepared to go back into it with an open mind. Don't have set expectations. It can be challenging, but you can also end up being pleasantly surprised. The most important thing it to talk to each other. A baby adds so much joy and stress at the same time. Keep talking, whether it's about sex, who needs to do what around the house, just how you feel in general. I'm not always the best, I always feel better when I put on my big girl panties and just say whet I need to say!!!
  

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• luckystar85

  September 2010

  a)  Talk about it and stop being so afraid of each other

  b)  It is NOT terrible.  Quit reading books that give you bs like that.  You're giving yourself a complex.

  c)  Figure out why you are able to communicate in other areas.  Apply that to discussion about sex life.

  d)  Sex is not supposed to be difficult or work.  It's supposed to be fun.  Start trying to have more fun with it and stop being so nervous about it.  

  e)  Wait 6 wks pp, then have sex.  Resume normal sex life.  Easy as that.  I noticed no difference after DS.
  

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