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Oral Sex Issues
Okay. The DH and I are having a bit of an issue in the oral sex department. He says he doesn't like it, which kind of bums me out. He has given a bunch of different reasons for this, so I don't know if he is BSing me or if he just has issues.
1. He says it doesn't feel as good as sex, which might mean I just don't know what I'm doing. I offered to read a book or take a class or whatever, but he seems to think it just doesn't matter. It seems like he's enjoying it though, so is he faking?
2. He says he can't relax because he's always worried that he tastes bad and that its gross for me.
3. He says he just has a negative association with it, that it's just not respectful and that its somehow debasing me to do that. I really have no idea WTF he is talking about, but it's very frustrating.
Moving Along, he also barely ever goes down on me. It's very frustrating,because while the sex and other foreplay stuff is great, I REALLY like oral sex and hardly ever get it. I wonder if he's just saying he doesn't like getting it, because if I give it to him, he'll feel like he has to return the favor?
He says he is self-conscious and that he feels like he doesn't know what he's doing. I suggested we order a book and work through it together. He agreed, but seemed "meh" about the idea. I'm worried that I just taste gross or something 
I have had amazing oral sex in the past (with other partners), but unfortunately since we have been together I can count on ONE hand the number of times he's given me oral (in 6 years). And I can count on one FINGER the number of times it was actually good--and that was when he was drunk, so he just let go and did it instead of being nervous.
I just feel like at this point in our relationship we should be comfortable with each other and have this under control. Suggestions? Ideas?
Re: Oral Sex Issues
Hmm. . .well, if that's the problem, I'm not sure why he married me lol. I'm definitely not the virginal, pure one in this relationship. It's definitely possible that he sees oral sex as something dirty, though, and that he doesn't want to do that with me. I just wish he would be totally honest with me about his feelings, since I can't make things better if I don't know what the actual problem is. . .
I think #3 on your list is the real issue. "Not tasting good" is a lame excuse.
If he truly doesn't have a M/W problem, I'm betting he is just claiming to not want it so he can excuse himself from returning the favor.
But why?
Because he's a selfish douchenozzle who prefers to shame you into thinking you smell/taste bad rather than dedicate time to pleasuring you?
You're welcome.
Um this made me LOL.
That's really not the case, though. He's actually really giving and always makes sure I get off before we commence intercourse, and I usually end up getting off more than once
I think it's probably the issues with him just thinking that it's dirty. He has other issues like that, such as not liking to talk dirty, and not being a fan of doggy style because it bothers him that he can't gaze deep into my eyes. *sigh*
It could also be a confidence problem, though, because he has pretty low self-esteem.
Nope, no gag-reflex issues to speak of
omg he sounds boring as hell in bed...
it took you 6 years for it to bother you?
No, it didn't take six years for it to bother me (see my previous "Confession" post for details). However, he's actually not boring in bed. He's not quite as adventurous as I would like, but we do it in public, he's done stuff to me under the table at dinner, we try lots of different positions and light s&m, etc. . .
Yeah, reading through this, it's making no sense to me. Apparently he is a very complex individual. Maybe I do taste bad. Maybe I should see a doctor about that. I have no idea what the problem is.
Well. In all HONESTY... his penis probably doesn't taste great. I know my cooch doesn't! And while I love oral... I hate for him to be down there because I'm self concious about it. So I would see where he would be self concious about him tasting/smelling weird. But on the other hand, you've been together 6 years... and this is a persistent issue? I would think he would be comfortable enough with you to know "Well, I've been with her for 6 yrs... Might as well let loose..." ??
I don't want to say that you're a "dirty" person; but I'm big into personal "package" hygiene before I give DH oral. I also have a cream from SlumberParties that is flavored, we have vanilla and banana (which obviously is gross if his package isn't clean, bringing me back to afore mentioned point.) You can also use it on YOURSELF... maybe something to try? Just a suggestion!!!
I don't think its a question of doing something he doesn't LIKE; you've had previous partners... so you've been with people who like different things. I don't think you need to take a class on what to do... its kind of a no-brainer. (An assumption, yes. I actually do know of a girl who literally blew on the guys stuff because he asked for a blow job. Seriously
)
Anddd, I don't think things are always on an even keel. So I don't think it should be a matter of him "returning the favor"... But I DO think he should WANT to do things to please you
GL!!
Ok, I guess my question would be, if you don't have oral sex in your relationship will you die? Will you get divorced over it? How important to you is it really? Everybody has a line. You say he does other things in bed that make you happy. Good. Maybe, if you really love him, you won't push him to do something he is uncomfortable with. He might get interested in it on his own if he is left to explore.
I mean,you can tell him you would appreciate it if he expressed love to you in this way every now and again and then let it be. My husband and I both had different things we wanted to try that the other wasn't so thrilled about. But we try to be understanding with one another and not push the envelope.
Hmm. . .well, if that's the problem, I'm not sure why he married me lol. I'm definitely not the virginal, pure one in this relationship. It's definitely possible that he sees oral sex as something dirty, though, and that he doesn't want to do that with me. I just wish he would be totally honest with me about his feelings, since I can't make things better if I don't know what the actual problem is. . .
He IS telling you how he feels about it! He obviously has issues with it and doesn't feel comfortable with it. He is self conscious about how he tastes, and he also feels like it is disrespectful. This is how he feels and has told you as such. What you do with it is up to you, but you can't blame him for not being honest with you and telling you how he feels, because he DOES.