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What would you do in this case?
So I have a good friend (she was a bridesmaid in the wedding) who I've known forever. She housesat for us over Labor Day wknd and watched our dog for us while DH and I were away for 4 days. She's going to be doing the same - just for 1 night overnight this time - in a couple of weeks for us when we need to go away for the wknd.
Here's the issue. Last time she let us know when we got home that the guy she'd been dating-but-not-really-dating was over the night before (she was washing the sheets from the guest room where stayed for us when we got home, which could have been a nice gesture to save me the effort or it could have been hiding the evidence of activities that occured on them....eek.) I had never met this guy that she had over and was a little bothered by the fact that some guy DH and I don't know was in our house overnight and she didn't even ask us or let us know.
They have since broken up but she's seeing someone else now. I don't want this new guy over our house since our guest room is not a loveshack and it makes me uncomfortable. It's not like this is a hotel - she's housesiting and caring for our dog while we're gone, you know? So how would you bring up the no guys thing? She tends to get very defensive if she thinks you're criticizing her at all so that's why I'm uncomfortable about bringing it up even though she's a good friend I've known forever. But I also think it's our house and if we're not comfortable with a guy we don't know staying over, then that should be respected. We didn't say anything before b/c I didn't expect her to just have someone over without asking us.
So....what would you say / how would you handle this?
Re: What would you do in this case?
That's a difficult one to handle. I think I would bring up that you were uncomfortable when you found out about the last guy, and although you're happy she's with a new guy, you ask that he doesn't stay over simply b/c you haven't met him yet (but you look forward to meeting him) and you don't like the idea of people you don't know in your house.
I don't know how else you can really put it. If she takes everything to heart, it'll be hard to say anything.
ugh- what a terrible position to be in.
I would just say- DH and I would really appreciated it if you didn't have any house guests over this time around. I appreciate that you told me last time. But we really aren't comfortable with ppl in our house we don't know especially with us not being there.
I agree with this. Just approach it from the angle that YOU are not comfortable with the situation and not that SHE is doing something "wrong".
I personally would feel the exact same way as you are feeling and to be honest, it's just ONE night. If she can't go one night without this new guy, then that's a whole other issue that she needs to handle.
Thanks, guys. Yeah, I'm going to have to phrase so she knows it's me and DH who are uncomfortable with it and not coming down on her....I sort of know the guy since we went to HS together but that was like 15 years ago as we're all 31 / 32 now...and I haven't seen him in that time and it's not like we were anything more than classmates back then (as in we weren't like friends).
There's no reason they can't still go out to dinner & a movie or something and see each other - but I'd much prefer she came back to our house alone and not bring him along...
Ergh. Not looking fwd to that conversation....
This
I would say something about how much you appreciate her and tell her how you feel. It may be hard but he.ll I would flip out about someone being in my home that was a complete stranger!!!