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Husband exploring
My husband of 7 years described some male-male fantasies he had. At first I was fine with it, told him to go explore. And he has. And now he is constantly on an adult sex site, looking for more. He tells me that he loves me and that i'm beautiful... but now he's losing erections / not reaching the big O when we're together. And guess what that's done to my self esteem. When we do have sex, it'll end with a BJ for him (eyes closed, with more male-male fantasies, I'm sure). I feel like he's not having sex with me even if we are--does that make sense?
I was hoping this would be a "fad" but it's not going away. When we talk about it he gets mad (denial at being gay) and tells me he won't do it anymore. I'm open minded because I am bi... but i haven't acted on it, I don't want it to hurt him. Anyone got suggestions / similar experiences? Thanks!
Re: Husband exploring
It's said that straight people have gay fantasies -- allegedly it's your alter ego being represented, to show you what you really want out of sex.
I don't know what's up with the adult sex site -- I am guessing it's man on man action?
Losing erections and no orgasms could be avariety of anything that can be happening; he may be developing a health problem (circuatory, thyroid, to name a couple) or maybe it's psychological.
he is gay.
ywia.
Last updated 4/06/11
How I read the post is that he WILL get an erection and have an orgasm, but he has to close his eyes and get a BJ...you know, pretend a man is doing it...that's not a health problem. He's gay.
Last updated 4/06/11
When you say he's been exploring, do you mean he's actually had sex with another man, or is it just porn sites? (I second getting yourself tested immediately, if the former is true). It honestly sounds like he's gay and having a hard time coming to terms with it. Maybe it's just me, but while I think girls can be bi, I really don't believe it's true for guys. One or the other.
Sorry :-(
I'm with the others--he's gay.
Might be time to explore divorce/annulment options.
I"m sorry you are having to find out this way about your husband.
I'm also voting gay or bisexual.
Please get yourself tested. You need to decide how you would like to proceed with your marriage. Is this a deal breaker for you or are you ok with your husband being bisexual?
Darling, I'm pretty sure the others are right, sounds gay to me.
If he has been "out" exploring rather than exploring via porn and ect, you need to be tested. But if he is really gay, you need to talk it out and get it out in the open now. There is no use staying in a marriage where you will both end up unhappy in the long run.
GL.
If he has been "out" exploring rather than exploring via porn and ect, you need to be tested. But if he is really gay, you need to talk it out and get it out in the open now. There is no use staying in a marriage where you will both end up unhappy in the long run
I'd flat out ask him if he's gay or gay curious.
You might as well clarify what you meant by "husband exploring" is he exploring porn or is there something else going on here?
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