Minneapolis/St. Paul Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Funny drunk stories
It's Monday, I'm bored and could use some laughs.
Share your funny/embarrassing/crazy drunk stories here 
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Re: Funny drunk stories
Memorial Day Weekend 2009 in Vegas celebrating a friends 30th bday:
Friend rented a Hummer Limo. Hummer Limo stocked with tons of booze. We proceed to spend 3 hours drinking said booze until it's gone. Stop at a Casino (it was one of the nicer ones- don't remember which though) so some of us can relieve ourselves. We are about to climb back into the limo when I notice a wet floor sign. I proceed to grab it and run with it holding it over my head like a trophy and try to steal it. Apparently, there were 2 employees watching me, not caring at all that I am about to drive away with their sign. Somehow DH convinced me to leave it there. Someone said they have pics, I have yet to see them, would sure love to though...
Nicole and Sam 10/3/09
At the time I think everything I do while drunk is hilarious. I don't know if anyone else feels that way. I will share two from the last year that have accompanying photos:
1. Drunk on my porch slurring things about driving tiny motorcycles. Friends named me "Tony Murdercircles" and drew a mustache on me.
2. At a bar and decided that a shiny Bud Light was the most beautiful picture I've ever seen and that I was in love with it. Friends had to stop me from taking it off the wall. Then I tried to lick it.
Judging
This is a funny drunk story about my H. His family does a reunion every other summer on his mom's side. We got engaged in August 08 and the reunion was about 2 weeks after that, so I was meeting H's extended family for the first time. H's family likes to drink at these reunions, so one night we were all partying together in our cabin. My H tends to get touchy feely when he drinks hard liquor and was grinding on me to the music in front of most of this family. I was really embarrased because I didn't know his family very well yet. Towards the end of the night, I had to put H to bed because he was totally incoherent. Meanwhile, BIL had been filming the party throughout the entire evening.
Fast forward to this past summer to our next family reunion. BIL had made a video montage of clips from the last reunion. He managed to get a clip of H grinding on my and me looking totally horrified. It was hilarious to watch.
well, it was NOT funny at the time and i actually don't even think it's funny now (however everyone else does. maybe i'm just uptight.) but last october, we went to wisconsin for a reunion of 41 people we went to ireland with.
lars proceeded to drink MULTIPLE shots of jameson in a fairly short period of time. i finally convinced him that he needed to go back to our cottage and go to bed. well, he did so but i woke up around 5am to the sound of his urine hitting the hardwood floors. i opened my eyes and saw him standing facing the saloon style doors that served as our bedroom doors peeing. i said in a loud whisper, "what the f@ck are you doing?! you're in our bedroom!" he sort of looked over at me and stopped. so i said, "go in the bathroom!"
he proceeded to walk about 5 steps to the left, open the shutters on the window (window was still closed) and start peeing again... IN THE ROOM. on the hardwood floors.
now, i can't tell that without telling something about myself, though, it's not really a "drunk story".
one night when lars had hockey a few months ago, i had a couple (small even!) glasses of wine before bed. i was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch. lars came home from hockey and woke me up and said, "baby, are you coming up to bed?" i apparently said yes but was being slow so he headed up without me.
well, he came down about 10 minutes later because i still wasn't up there and apparently, i was about to squat over the dishwasher. i had opened the dishwasher, pulled out the bottom drawer of dishes, and was in the process of pulling down my pajama pants to squat.
i'm adamant that i wasn't drunk because i only had 2 very small glasses of wine (maybe 1/3 of a bottle) and that is NOT enough to get me drunk. i think i was more or less sleepwalking. but regardless, THAT is funny.
LOL. Love this. On a squatting side note- we've been doing a lot of backpacking and wilderness camping. When we're on these trips I get used to just finding a tree/bush and squatting there and then to relieve myself. A week after we got back from the BWCA my BIL was giving us a tour of the U of MN where he was doing a lot of lab work after graduating in May. We're in an alley and I realize I have to pee, and I find myself looking for an appropriate place to do it, lol. The laughter came quick when I realized what I was doing, I did wait to find a toilet.
The boyfriend of my senior year roommate at college peed all over her drawings she had done for our senior architecture studio review. It had taken her weeks to draw them so she took a blowdryer to them, lightly ironed then flat, and hung them up for her review a couple days later. :-/ Gross. She totally got an A on the project for her pee drawings :-)
I don't really have any crazy drunk stories. I don't imbibe all that often and when I do it's not much. I'm boring :-/
Not absolutely hysterical but I lost my shoes Saturday night. We were out at Dibbo's in Hudson listening to my cousin's band. I had one too many vodka tonics. I don't remember the drive home or coming into the house so I'm not entirely sure when I took my shoes off.
Today I was getting ready for work and wanted to wear those shoes. I've looked everywhere! I asked the people who drove us home if they were in their car and they aren't. I've searched the house and cannot find them!
And I'm bummed, they were cute shoes!
I think my 'best' (if you can call it that) story was when my roommates in college couldn't get me up the hill to our apartment. I'd walk a few steps, fall down and roll back to the bottom of the hill. Being drunk themselves, they gave up after about 20 minutes of this and left me outside. In March. In St. Cloud. One of the guys we hung around with asked them where I was and they told him I rolled down & couldn't get up. He was sober and ran out to find me still at the bottom of the hill trying to get up it. Thankfully he helped me inside.
I used to live on a lake with a roommate. Her boyfriend had a boat and we'd spend every Saturday in the summer on the lake, in the boat. I could never keep up with how many beers they had and decided to drink appletinis (this is when they first came out) one Saturday. I mixed a huge glass of it and we spent all day in the boat with me filling up every so often. When it came time to go in for the night I stepped off the boat and meant to step on the dock. Only I went between the boat and the dock straight down to the bottom. Popped up out of the water after being under with my glass held high and yelled "Did I spill my drink?" The resulting bruises and the hangover the following couple of days convinced me that my partying days were over.
um, THIS STORY RULES!!!
Judging
DH and I do a pig roast at our house every other year. The last year that we did we had over 150 people show up. I was running around all day trying to keep food on the table and be a wonderful host. Once I felt my hosting duties were over I felt that I needed to catch up to everyone and started doing shots. By the end of the night I was riding around my back yard on our friends BMX bike with a Nacho Libre mask on and my friend on the handle bars. Needless to say we have not had a pig roast since then.
On a more recent note, a couple of weekends ago we were at a friends wedding and all of our friends are big drinkers! After doing 5 shots and having 4 glasses of wine I found DH and told him that my legs didn't work and we needed to go home. I don't remember any of this, but the next day DH told me we were home by 10 PM. I think that is a new record for me!
I attended a New Year's Eve party at my friends' house and drank what I felt like was a gallon of Appletinis. I swear no leaves a party at their house without vomiting. They are very gracious hosts.
I was dancing like a fool and no caring that I just had surgery on my hip two weeks prior. A good friend of mine kept taking me up and down the stairs to the bathroom so I could be sick and every time I got down there nothing would happen. After awhile I just sat down in the living room and hoped the spinning would stop. No such luck! I told my friend I needed to be sick again and she said come on let's go to the bathroom. I told her I couldn't get up so she scrambled around to find me something to puke in. She came pack with a bag from Restoration Hardware and that is what I decided to vomit in. Nice! This all happened in front of room full of stranger who weren't wasted.
The hosts gave up their bed so me and a friend (she was doing shots of Tequila out fine china creamer) could sleep in it. I have no idea who took my boots or my large bracelet off. I looked everywhere for that bracelet the next morning with no luck. My smart ass friends decided to give it to me the following year as a birthday present in a Restoration Hardware bag, of course.
May have just peed my pants laughing at this one.
I've got many...but a couple stick out in my mind....
#1: It was New Year's Eve. I was in college. We started drinking at our apt. and then headed to downtown RF. After indulging in waaaay to many celebratory drinks, three friends and I start walking home. We pass buy a business, and I think it's a fabulous idea to steal some Christmas decorations from them (a candy cane and rainbow). I walk away and hear my roommate J scream at me "Cheese and Rice, Mother F---er!" I burst out laughing and ask her to repeat herself. She does and I inquire about why she said "Cheese and Rice"....She kindly tells me it's because it's not polite to say "Jesus Christ!" Ha! But Mother F---er is okay.
She convinced me to return the bow, but we took the candy cane.
#2 Still in college; this time RF Days, the town's summer celebration. More drinks, more walking. This time we happen upon a box of free stuff out on the boulevard, leftover from a garage sale. J and I are giddy at the idea of the treasures we could find. J picks up a lovely glass chandelier and turns to ask me "What the hell is this?" As soon as I tell her it's a glass chandelier, she drops it from about 5 feet above ground and says, "That's lame, we don't need one of those." Uh, now no one will need it because it's in a million pieces. Nice work. We woke up the next morning to a rusty ice cream scoop, two clay flower pots, an old coffee cup, three nasty ass forks, and a picture of a wolf.
Baby Boy born 5.3.15
This made me laugh pretty hard, LOL.