Oklahoma Nesties
ShansBride
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
if you died before your H...
would you want him to get remarried? Would the answer change if you did/did not have kids?
H and I were looking over our wills and we started talking about what if one of us died and it got me wondering what others would do...
Re: if you died before your H...
We've talked about this subject several times, I've told him that I want him to be happy so if another woman could make him happy then he should take that opportunity. He told me that he doesn't think that he could ever love another woman or be with one after me and to be honest I feel the exact same way. We currently do not have kids but kids or no kids my answer would still be the same.
I had this conversation with his mema one day and she told me, oh well your young so i'm sure you will change your mind and would want to have kids if you didn't get to have kids with him but I really don't think so. The way I look at it is, if I can't have kids with the love of my life then I wouldn't want to have kids with anyone else.
I would want him to move on, too. If he found love again (should I pass away before him), I'd want him to be happy. The thought makes me sad, but I wouldn't want him to wallow the rest of his life.
If he died before me, I don't know if I could move on. He's said in the past that he'd want me to, but I just can't imagine doing that after losing him. If love found me again, I would...but it would never be the same.
We have never really talked about it. I would however expect him to move one but it would be his own choice. I am not sure if I would ever marry again; I may have a companion but probably never another husband.
I feel the same way.
We do not have kids, so I'm not sure how children would change my answer.
Well, I feel like a pretty heartless b!tch. I go back and forth about what I would want H to do. Five years ago, I would have said that I wanted him to be happy and if that meant getting married again then so be it, but now, I dont' know.
My big thing is that I don't want some other woman to raise my kids. I would hate for H to get married and have kids with another woman and for my kids to feel second fiddle. I would hate for her to treat my kids differently than I treat them. I wouldn't trust that someone else would make the same parenting choices that I would. And part of me is afraid that she would do a better job than me, which makes me happy for my kids, but really sad for me becuase I don't want them to be glad that I died or something.
I also wouldn't want my kids to grow up without a mother figure though. And I wouldn't want H to be lonely or have to parent alone.
I sort of just hope that he would know what the right thing to do it and I know he would put our kids first.
This is how I feel. Of course I know DH would raise our kids the way I would but if he remarried I know she would have a say so over what was to be done. This is why I wish I could pick out someone for him just so I can have the last say so.
If he died before me I don't know if I would remarry. I would want our children to have a father figure in their lives but I don't think I could find anyone who could match up to DH, IMO.