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MIL and Family photos
So my DH's family has NEVER had family portraits done.So I decided that since we just had our little man and we are leaving in February, the time was due. My dh is going into the Army btw and I think his mother has some hard feelings against me, even though it was his decision.
ANYWAY, we are taking pictures when she says, I haven't ever had just MY family together, so they take a picture with out me and the baby.Totally Fine. After a few other poses, she tells me and my mother ( I had my family come to get some shots together) to get out and give the baby to my Dh so the entire family can take a picture together -with out me. I was in udder shock. So I said "He came out of me you know...." and she got upset and ran around the barn and cried. I wrote her a letter in a card explaining why I said what I said and other things, such as supporting her son in this big decision. So we will see how she reacts to that......
I know how I feel about this but I definitely would like an outsiders view!! TIA
Re: MIL and Family photos
It's *utter* shock, but since you were in a barn, maybe it was udder shock. (Couldn't resist.)
IMO it would be OK to have just the immediate family (MIL/FIL/your DH) for one picture. That wouldn't bother me one bit. But to have a pic with them and your baby and not you seems rude to me.
You were well within your right to not let them have the baby in the picture without you, but were you snarky? Your comment as posted here has a bit of edge to it. It would have been better to politely say, "If 'baby' is in the picture, I'd like to be, too."
Good one! I didn't realize I did that!! oops
I may have had a bit of attitude, but I had apologized directly after when she was walking away.
Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com
I'm also curious about this.
Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com
If she had wanted say all the men (FIL, DH, son) I could totally see that. But to have the whole fam *except* you.... not cool.
I think it was good to say something in the moment rather than let it fester. Whether it came out sounding mean, or whether she was just hyper sensitive to it bc she knew she was in the wrong... well who cares, you apologized, time for her to move on IMO.
I thought Army guys were supposed to be tough. Why does he turn into such a wiener around mommy?
Sounds like he needs to be informed that if he wants to remain married, he WILL start putting his wife before his mom.
1st: I love that you said the baby came out of you lol that exactly what I would have said lol
2nd: you should be seriously pissed at ur H for not taking up for you. one pic I get but not several and not any with your baby and not you hellzz no! If its his family causing the issue he should fight the battle for you IMO that is
ALL your anger should be directed at your H.
Your response was perfect! I certainly wouldnt be apologizing to the drama queen.
Your MIL wasn't crying b/c her feelings were hurt. She was crying b/c you weren't allowing her to get her way and exclude you.
You did the right thing. You've sent the letter, now stop apologizing. You're just giving her more power and more attention than she deserves.
PS: Who paid for the photos? If there are any with the baby and not you that WERE taken, I would not allow them to be available.
I was the one that paid for photos, and i planned the whole event I am going to have the photographer delete the one that is with out me. Im glad I was on the right page, although my husband was not, we got into it about it and he learned his lesson. If this instance pops up again, he WILL know what to do.
Thanks ladies!!
Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com
I would be in complete disgust that my husband didn't say anything when he was asked to have my child in a family picture without me. It makes it even worse that you are the one who organized and paid for the photographer. Honestly, I'd have a hard time even giving his family copies. I'd probably just choose one or two of the whole family and give her those and nothing else. I'm glad you're deleting the one without you. I hope you stand by that decision. It might be a little different if this was her photography project- but it was yours. And the baby thing...there is NO excuse for that. Seriously, why did you apologize? Are you speaking to your husband right now? Has he addressed this behavior with his mother?
I agree that you were well within your rights saying 'No' to the picture because you paid for them. Whoever pays, has the last say in what pictures are taken. You shouldn't have let your MIL take any charge during the session.
Even if MIL were paying for the photos, the OP was well within her rights to say that no pics of the baby were happening without her in them. Nobody takes a pic of my kid without my permission.
I would think you woudl be, he needs to step up and stop letting her have this effect on him.