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H's Work: Possible Relocation
Hi Ladies, I need some advice.
My H works for a utilities company and they are planning on phasing out his department so everyone is testing and biding for other jobs because if they can't get into something else before their location deploys then they are out of a job.
My H has applied for lot of areas, lots of positions. He is waiting to test for certain jobs and a lot of it is a waiting game... but there are some locations that a lot of people are not biding for because they are far away or remote locations... my H applied for a job in a town 6 hours away from where we live now... 6 hours away form all our friends and family, as well as my work where I have been for 5 years now.
H says "after 6 months I could apply to transfer back close to home."
I don't know what to do or say, I'm quite settled in my career... I would hate to lose that for 6 months. He could move up there for the 6 months and we could long-distance it.... we've been there before but then what guarantee would we have that it would be soon after the 6 months that he could come back? I'd hate to do it for 6 months let alone longer and there is never are guarantee.
My H wants to apply for more jobs in that location but he knows how I feel about it. All he wants to do is secure his position with the company... its a REALLY good company to work for!!!
I dont know what to tell him, we both get upset when we talk about it...
We worked so hard for him to get in with this company we don't want to lose it but uprooting us like that... the particular position isnt THAT good... I'd worry about giving up my stable possition at MY work.
Advice please! Any advice would help, I really don't know what is the smarter thing to do...
Re: H's Work: Possible Relocation
Well part of this decision needs to be about money. If he is out of a job, can you survive on your salary alone? And the reverse - if you have to quit your job, can you survive on what his salary would be?
How realistic is it that he will easily be able to transfer back?
Well those are the tricky parts... for the first couple years of our marriage H was in and out (mostly out) of work. And my job was supporting us, if you can call it supporting... we were scrapping rock bottom but we had food on the table a roof other our head and JUST enough gas to get to work.
I don't know that he could support us on his own if we moved to the far away location, the cost of living there is more because it is very near popular tourist locations. (Big plus for my H, he thinks he would be excited to live there...)
I would hate to quit a job where I KNOW I am indispensable. Job security in this economy is worth it's weight in gold! But I don't think we could handle going back to life where I supported both of us with just my job.
I dont think it is very realistic that it would be a quick 6 months then transfer back... his company is HUGE and very reliable but they are a bit slow moving... but it isn't unreasonable to say it might be around a year marker... there is just no telling.
To me, it would come down to logistics: who has better job security, who has a bigger salary/better benefits, how long can we go on just one salary.
If it's not feasible for you both to move for this job, then he needs to look for something where you are currently living.
But there are a couple of things in this post that do strike me -- what concerns you more, leaving your good job with a steady income or leaving your friends and family? While I agree that job security in this economy is a great thing, it's not the end-all be-all, and if you're a great employee for one company, you'd be a great employee for another company in the same industry. If he has a really kick-butt opportunity that requires a move (which it doesn't sound like this is), you may need to open your options.
My H currently makes more than I do now and we are on his insurance plan. We used to be on mine but when he got this job his employer offers a plan I preferred to the one mine offered. I wouldn't worry AS much about if we could afford living on just his income if we were going somewhere similar to where we are now cost of living wise. I don't think it would be IMPOSSIBLE to make it work, and I could probably find a job of SOME sort, probably not what I studied and have been doing for the last 5 years but... I could probably find something to help out if things were tight.
By far the hardest part would be leaving our family, we are a VERY involved group and not being local would be incredibly hard.
I told H to apply for the jobs, we were supposed to discuss it last night but we didn't end up getting the chance to. After talking with my boss who is also a very good friend of mine, I realized that if H was to move up there I couldn't do the long distance thing. Even for 6 months. My boss reminded me of how picky our company is about new hires and pointed out that our shipping and receiving tech left for a year before coming back. I guess the made me feel better about if it ended up being short I could probably still get my job back... or at least wait out the new hire... lol
So H has to ok to apply but we haven't had The Talk yet...
"Show me a woman or a man who's got a plan and I will show you God is laughing out his window..."
Moving to a new place can be scary, nerve-wracking and tough. It can also be exhilirating, exciting and new, a chance to start over, see a different part of the world, and try something different.
You are right, there is absolutely no guarantee you could be back in six-months. In fact, odds are you would be there for a few years.
In order to decide what you want here, you need to start looking at your career goals, his career goals, and your family's goals. Do you intend to be a stay at home parent? If so, you need to do whatever it takes to boost his career along, and if it means moving it means moving. Are you the breadwinner? Then unless his new salary would make it worthwhile, you stay if that is the best way for your career to develop. WIll this position out of town help your husband's desired career trajectory? If yes, then it is worth going for.
Be open to this. It will be tough, and the first year will be really hard. BUT, if you let yourself, you could really enjoy it. Best of luck.
Thanks for all the great advice ladies!
So H and I finally got the chance to talk, as it turns out if he got this job it will be way more than he is making now so $ wise its a yes. :-)
I 'm working right now but my long term working goals are "free lance from home" so I can be a stay at home mom AND still work :-). Don't we want everything?! lol
I had already told H to apply, I told him that I go where he goes. So he applied. We haven't heard yet but Im starting to think of it as a good thing. I find myself hoping a little we do go... we will see. :-)