Sex & Romance
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Really Weird Question

So, H and I have never done oral.  A friend bought us a book on it when we got married as a joke.  He has mentioned before that he likes it (his ex did it on him once), but that he doesn't feel comfortable giving it, mostly because he doesn't know what to do.  I'm open to trying to give it, but not sure what to do either.  But I definately would love to have him do it for me.  So, here's my question.  We have the book, but H said he doesn't think a book would help, that maybe a youtube video that demonstrates it would be better.  Is this weird?  I'm more of a visual learner as well, but I'm not sure that watching someone else have oral sex would really teach me the proper way to do it?  So, how does one go about learning how to perform oral sex?
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Re: Really Weird Question

  • Trial and error.  Have him start, tell him what feels good and go from there.
  • something tells me that you won't find a youtube video. unless it's with a doll. or unless youtube is able to put pornographic material. i'm sure there are porn sites that have such video's though.

    but i do agree with pp. it's just trial and error. i don't know how guys figure it out. i just know i did it myself once and went from there. it isn't exactly rocket science when it comes to performing oral on a guy.

  • Books are actually pretty good, and they usually have pictures to kinda help too, I'd read it or at least skim it.  We got a book from a secret santa thing one year, I had done oral a good amount before and was already awesome at it (haha) but still skimmed the book, it just gives you at least different ideas and what not.

    I don't think I'd do the video idea.

    Really though trial and error is the right way to do it. Every guy is a bit different in what they like and what they don't like so you'll have to kinda test the waters.

    Couple little hints and tips to get started:

    -Start slow...little kisses or licks around the base of his penis...tease a little (but not too much so that he gets bored)

    -Use lots of saliva...you could use flavoured lube but I personally hate the taste, but you do need a lot of saliva if you're not using lube.  I pretty much start by licking up his shaft making sure I'm just lubricating it (leaving lots of slobber on him).

    -Use your hands!....don't feel as though his penis needs to be in your mouth the entire time (your jaw will get super tired if you do this and YOU'LL hate it!) switch it up.  sometimes suck, sometimes lick, sometimes use just your hands.

    -Don't forget the balls!...while you have him in your mouth play around with them a little.

     At least the first couple times, TALK...and encourage him to talk.  Let him know at the beginning that he should tell you if he wants you to try anything different.  Harder? Softer? I like this, I don't like that.

    And he should try oral on you a couple times too...you can show him where to lick let him know if he should go faster or slower, add a finger while licking and whatnot.....honestly it's one of the best things on earth, you should get to feel it too! 

  • imagekellslw:
    So, here's my question.  We have the book, but H said he doesn't think a book would help, that maybe a youtube video that demonstrates it would be better.  Is this weird?  I'm more of a visual learner as well, but I'm not sure that watching someone else have oral sex would really teach me the proper way to do it?  So, how does one go about learning how to perform oral sex?

    This reminds me of that scene from American Pie where that kid found the top seckrit sex manual hidden in the bowels of the school library.:)

     Videos help, too -- and I suggest you masturbate. Then show him what feels good. 

  • Thanks all for the advice.  We are going to visit MIL this weekend, so it's not going to happen this weekend.  I did start this week by just kissing him down there, which he liked, but I wasn't sure what else to do.  I guess we'll just have to practice.  Wink  We also use fingers and hands during regular sex, so maybe that's a good transition for us.
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  • Rent some porn or buy a how-to video. The Xandria Collection has a lot of great stuff and are discreet. 
  • I understand what you mean, my current boyfriend (and love of my life) is the first person I've ever done oral with. We started slow, just trial and error. Basically all of it feels great and just knowing that you are both willing to try new things will make the other person feel better. We didn't use a book or watch videos, we talked about it before hand and have enough experience pleasuring each other that we had ideas of what the other would like.
  • Ok, So definitely consult a book. You two will be nervous, but just give it a shot. No one knows how to do it when they start out, but somehow we all figure it out. Just watch your teeth! Also, Make sure he shaves his 5 o'clock shadow off so he doesn't scratch you! My hubby to be says he learned from a men's magazine that said to try and trace the alphabet with your tongue to do oral on women. That's all I can tell you!
  • Do you have netflix? We actually found a karma sutra movie on there ;)
  • Nina Hartleys' Guide to Oral Sex DVD. Someone i know swears by it ;) There's one for men and one for women.
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  • imageNamasteak:
    Do you have netflix? We actually found a karma sutra movie on there ;)

    Ok ok ok, the Kama Sutra is very different from the word karma, so I'm guessing that you didn't learn too much from the video. 


  • imageDr.Loretta:
    Nina Hartleys' Guide to Oral Sex DVD. Someone i know swears by it ;) There's one for men and one for women.

    This.

    We have it.  It came as a free gift with an order we got from A&E.  We didn't really  need a how to on that, but watched it anyway.  It's a good DVD for a beginer.  I have since given it to a friend.  She swears by it now.

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  • I agree with the trail and error. Plus it sounds a lot more fun then reading how to books! I know when I gave my first blow job it wasnt good ( or the next 10 for that matter). You just need to practice and figure out what works for your guy. And your man needs to practice on you. Its the only way you will find out what you like. Plus when you get into it, it will be FUN! Have fun and take it lightly, you should be having fun "playing" with your partner!
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  • I'm thinking a book would be your best bet, along with simple trial and error. The only fear that I have about watching a video to learn is that it may make the whole process seem a little overbearing because porn tends to make everything more over-the-top and, well, porographic. lol. Most of all, just try to relax, and enjoy yourself!

    Best of luck!

  • I learned how to do it from a porn video i once watched. The husband loved what i did!!!!
  • Thanks all for the great advice!  One of these days we will get to try it.  Right now, family matters have me so stressed I can't even think about anything along those lines.  Yes, I do believe that sex is a good stress reliever, but at this point, my stress level is so high, I know I wouldn't enjoy it.  H has been busy at work so I know he doesn't mind.  I hate being stressed, and to top it off, I woke up this morning spotting 4 days early from the stress!  Grrr!
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  • definitly try using the trial and error method, make sure to be honest with each other about how everything feels.  i think finding a video to watch together is a great idea not weird at all its very healthy to explore new things togehter.  be patient and trust each other you will be sooooo happy when u get it figured out.

    ps.  have you tried reading cosmopolitan magazine?  ive been with my fiance for 7 years so im always looking for new ways to spice things up and get all my new tricks from their articles.

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