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Advice about merging money?
DH and I will be getting a joint bank account as soon as I get my new driver's license...it's taking loooong because the DMVs aren't open on Fridays anymore....so I had to wait til this month!
Anyways, I know it's different for everyone, but I'm curious, do you girls combine all monies? Do you each still retain separate accounts for gifts or whatnot? Is there discussion before purchases?
DH and I plan to chat about how we want to do it as soon as my name is changed on my license. We always planned to share an account, and have always shared expenses, or he's paid for things.
We both work, fyi, but he makes a trillion times more than I do, and pays for bill and things from "his" money all the time. Technically I know it's all "ours." Basically I want some inspiration! :-) TIA
Re: Advice about merging money?
My Bio
Update 5.24.10
we have kept it seperate...we both make similar amounts..he makes maybe 10,000 more... we pay about equal amounts of the bills..and will not have to discuss before purchases..though we both agree before any big purchases we will.. (i.e. i bought a 700 dollar camera..and discussed it with him first.)
we also have some joint money from our wedding gifts, and our tax refund will go in there too, that is our house emergency fund..for any repairs that should come up.
We have had joint accounts for about 2 years now. Slightly more than. Everything has always been ours, regardless that he makes more. We discuss everything and ask eachother before buying extras. For gifts we set a budget for each other and buy them from the same account. This has really worked for us but its unique I realize because we have had a joint account since before we were engaged. I managed his money before that also (I am highly budget oriented). For the wedding savings, the savings account is in my name only, with his name as a soul benificary, because my DH is honest that larger amounts tempt him so its best that he know whats in it (and what its for) but have no acess to it. For our bugeting (we live on a pretty tight buget-- about 1-2 k a month depending on the season) I have a program written that i enter and and balance the checkbook/savings with.
Married August 14th, 2010
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Since I'm unemployed there was no point in keeping my bank account since it was starting to get sad. So DH added me to his account and now it's ours. We both still have our own separate credit cards for now, but are looking at getting a credit card together. When I start working again, my paycheck will go into our account. We also turned the wedding savings account into a house saving account and that's also where we keep the money we got from the wedding.
*BIO w/ vendor reviews*
We each have our own separate accounts in addition to a joint account. We each put a percentage of our income into our joint account (right now it's 75%) and we use that money for savings, pay joint bills, etc. The rest is our fun money that we can use for whatever we want. We will adjust the percentages as life goes on, but it seems like the most fair way to go.
I dont' think we'd make it if we didn't have separate accounts for fun money.
This is basically what we do. We got a joint account when we moved in together (2 years ago) and we put in an equal percentage of our salaries into that account. That is used to pay bills (used to be rent, now our mortgage, utilities, etc, etc). We have a joint credit card that we use for all our expenses (food, stuff we buy for the house, etc). All our wedding money went into a joint savings account, as well as our tax returns and other joint income.
However, we do retain our individual accounts. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable merging all our money, just because I am a control freak.
But yes, we are very open about money. We divide responsibilities, I pay our mortgage/credit card and track our accounts, he pays the utilities, taxes, and handles home repairs, etc. All major purchased we run by each other and usually decide together.
I make more than H, because he's in school so only works part-time. ?We are planning on moving to the same bank (his) where we'd have a joint checking and savings, and then separate checking for fun money. ?Right now we're still at our own banks because I'm being super lazy about changing my name.
?We have considered all the money 'our' money for a long time now. ?Before the wedding everything was budgeted down to the last penny, so we each paid the bills in our name, then took out cash for each week, and everything else went directly into savings. ?I was in charge of all that, so H got used to not spending anything, and he is still good about that. ??
?Once we get the joint accts set up, I'll be in charge of paying all the bills, deciding what we need for groceries, etc., but it will be good to have separate checking accts with fun money so H will feel like he can buy things he wants without having to ask. ?Makes me feel a little like his mom now
??
I'm a family law paralegal -- so I've learned to realize in marriage (esp. in NJ everything is split 50/50) so there is no point in pretending I have my own money b/c my money is his money. Right now DH just graduated law school & hasn't found a job yet so I am the only one with any income.
We don't have a ton of money, but we have a joint checking acct., joint savings account & all the same credit cards. I have a 401k which he is the sole beneficiary & life insurance that he is also the only beneficiary to. He has CDs with "inheritance money" in it (aka his grandpa has been giving him $50 bonds every month since he was born & recently his parents have been gifting him 10k per year as part of inheritance for tax reasons). Technically he generates all our savings from his inheritance & I cover all our basic monthly expenses w/my salary -- if that makes any sense.
I pay the bills online so he doesn't really see them unless he goes online to check. It's def. a unique situation so hopefully once DH finds a job we will have more structured spending/saving structure. You should really just try & combine as much as you can & then live for a month "normally" & track your spending & cut back where necessary.
Dh and I have merged money without really merging money....money management problems were the biggest reasosn for my parents divorce so I have a few issues about merging finanaces.
DH and I have maintained seperate accounts partially because I haven't gone in to change my name or really do anything about any of that yet and also because I don't really see a reason to since our current system is working just fine. I make about 4X as much as DH right now but also have way more debt. He makes his car payment, auto insurance payment, buys all the groceries and the rest of his paycheck is his to spend however he wants (about 300/month not alot once you figure lunches and gas). I owned our home before I met DH so I have continued to pay the mortgage, utilities, my car payment, etc because I paid all of that prior to him so why not continue to pay it? We do however realize that the money is not "my money, your money" but it is "our money". We take turns paying when we go out to eat, to target, etc. It keeps it seeming fair.
DH is getting ready to cut back to only working 12 hours a week while he goes back to school to become a nurse practitioner so we will be very dependent on my paycheck at that point.
Totally late for this post, but I'll respond anyway!
DH and I merged all our monies, though I had very little to give since I quit my job in March and we decided to just exhaust my bank account to pay for everything instead of just closing it out -- the money both of us made has always been 'our' money.
DH has a separate account that I have access to, but we will be closing it out once all the paperwork for the joint account at his job clears. We actually got a joint account before the wedding and started a savings account that neither of us are allowed to touch.
We never buy anything without consulting the other first -- we grocery shop together. I wanted a throw for the couch, so we both went out last night and decided on one together. We have separate credit cards, but I only charge gas and the occassional McDonald's run to it. We show each other credit card statements and tell each other when we're paying bills.
Other than that, we really just don't buy anything. I know the money is 'ours' but DH is the one that truly works for the paycheck, so I do without things so we can save up for a house/child/etc.
Do the creep.
I also am a bit late responding to this post!!
We just did the budget and plan to merge our money tonight. It was hard, but we got there.
At the moment we are -279 a month in the red, but we didn't take into account the overtime we both work every weekend, which puts us in the black. Plus we have three debts that will be wiped in the next couple of months, and after that we will be good. I think having 'our money' is really going to help pay of our debts much more quickly.
Thanks SO much for the great ideas girls, you never disappoint :-) We already have 401ks and that sort of thing transferred to each other's names. It's really the day to day flow of income that needs to be merged.
I now have some suggestions to throw out there!
I'm late on this too, but DH and I created a joint account before our wedding to put wedding gifts into...I haven't changed my name fully yet either. So right now our joint account is wedding gift money that will go into a savings account. We plan to keep separate accounts for personal expenses- but haven't totally planned this out yet. DH has put me in charge of figuring it all out since I tend to be better with saving money. Once I change my name we can start using the joint account, get checks made, look into credit card, etc. This will probably happen over the next month.
DH is still in grad school, but when he starts working in January we can better figure out allowance and budgets.
Question for you, what budget programs do you use to keep track of expenses? Just excel or something else? I tried to create my own on excel, but am not very good about keeping it up...and I'm wondering if there is something better out there.
Hmm, well, we use online banking, and that is how we are always on top of what money we have in our current separate accounts. But H has recently discovered www.mint.com and LOVES it. It's a very easy way to put all of our financial info in one place, and see very clearly where most of our spending goes.
For my taxes, I use excel to organize our deductions, because we both have self employed expenses that we write off.
Try mint though, it's pretty cool! :-)