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Horrible part of my great weekend (warning: really sad)
I had such a great time with my sister and Maeven (I will upload pictures as soon as I can) but unfortunately at the same time we have been going through a pretty rough time. My boss's wife (who you could say is also my boss) took her own life. It's completely horrific how it happened and they attempted for 2 days to revive her but after many many surgeries, her organs ended up failing due to lack of blood.
I happen to work for very close family friends so this is incredibly hard for my parents as well. I can't get this traumatic image out of my mind and I am still very much in shock. Today is the viewing and memorial and I'm nervous that it may hit me at the wrong time. I don't do well with funerals and death as it is and now add my postpartum hormones (not depression, hormones :P). I went into work for a bit yesterday (not released to go back until Nov. 1) and she is everywhere. There are notes all over my desk from her and her stuff is all over. My poor friends at work are having to deal with all the patients calling and crying. It's pretty awful 
I have known her my whole life and can't believe that she's gone. I know that she battled addictions and was in and out of rehab but I can't believe that she was so tortured that she felt that this was the only solution. It makes me feel sad and so mad that the system failed her.
Since I've been on maternity leave I have only seen her a few times lately which was my birthday and in the hospital when I had Zoey. She seemed to be doing great and was so happy.
Sorry for the rambling, I'm just so confused and sad. Thanks for letting me get that out.
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Re: Horrible part of my great weekend (warning: really sad)
Wives Unscripted
Brie's Blog 10.11.08 The Top Shelf Bookshelf
my read shelf:
Oh no that is so sad. Many t&p's to you, your co-workers and your boss.
The thing with suicide that is the the anger, confusion, and guilt that everyone feels. They are mad that the person felt there was no other way out of whatever they were going through, confusion over how someone who seemed to be doing so well would suddenly do this, and the guilt about how if only the warning signs were seen, if only I had stopped over that time, if only..., if only.... Most of the time there are no warning signs, and nothing anyone could've done. I have watched people deal with suicide (both on purpose and accidental) and its not easy because there are so many unanswered questions that will never be answered.
This exactly! I lost my dad to suicide and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder why. I am so, so sorry that you are going through this Jess. If you need to talk or vent or anything, don't hesitate to email or PM me.
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
Blog
TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7
FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
*~PAIFW/SAIFW~*
I'm a breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, anti-CIO Mommy
Raising Bean
Wives Unscripted
Married my hero on 10-11-08
Our bean was born on 05-19-11