Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Advice needed
Hi all. I have not posted in a while, but used to hang out on the April Knottie board a little while planning my wedding. I have a dilemna, and I would love to hear other opinions.
First, let me say that this is a good, even great, problem to have, but I am just unsure of the right path to take. I got married last April (obviously), and my husband and I have been planning all along to start TTC in February 2011, after we return from Cabo. I am about to be 31, and have baby fever bad! 
The other day, while visiting with my parents, my dad tells DH and I that he and my mom want to take us (along with my sister and her SO), on an African safari. Um, wow...what to say?! DH and I are beyond excited about this trip. However, the trip will be planned for sometime in 2012 (probably summer).
That means, that if we continue with TTC in February 2011, and assuming that we get pregnant relatively quick (which, I know there is no given), we would have a 6-8 month old baby at the time of the trip. I just can't see myself wanting to leave my baby at home for almost 2 weeks while I go on an African safari. So my question is...what would you do? Even if we move our TTC plans up to now, and get pregnant relatively quick, we would still have a toddler that we would have to leave behind for 2 weeks. Obviously, we would have to worry about childcare, etc. And considering the people that I trust the most would all be on the trip with me, that could be difficult. DH's family does not live close. I hate to leave my dog when we go on vacation - I can't even imagine how tough it would be with a child.
All of that being said, both DH and I really want to begin our family soon. I am obviously not getting any younger, and I don't want to run into age-related complications because we waited too long. Ideally, we would like to have two children. However, I feel like it would be selfish to have a baby, and then leave it for a couple of weeks so we could go on vacation. Plus, I'm sure it would be difficult to find someone to watch the child while we are gone, given that it would be a big committment.
Sorry, that got very long. Like I said, I know that this isn't a bad problem to have. I'm just torn on what we should do. Opinions...?
Re: Advice needed
My advice is to talk to your GYN first. She would be an excellent person to talk to about these planning issues, maybe schedule a consultation???
If it were me, I'd just be honest with your parents and see if they can push up the date at all on the safari. If having kids right now is so important to you and your DH, you shouldn't delay just for a family vacation. I guess if you can plan this thing 6 months out and you're still not pregnant by , you could say "let's do it if we're not pregnant by XX/XX/XX"
BUT 31 is not that old, you could definitely hold off on TTC for another year, if you want. It depends on what matters most to you.
Post-Wedding Life Blog!
A10 Siggy Challenge: Next Vacation Destination: San Francisco!
I think you honestly have to choose which is more important to you - starting a family as planned (rather than waiting a couple of years until after the trip), or going on this safari.
I do not have children, but my friends have a 13 month old and they went on a 2-DAY vacation not long after she was born. It was horrible, and they didn't have any fun because they were worried/missing the baby the whole time. I think it would be unfair to both you and your hypothetical child for you to go on the safari -- but again that's just my opinion, and I don't have kids so I'm just speculating.
If your family cannot move the trip up, and you want to stick to your original plan of ttc soon, I would simply not go. I know it's an amazing opportunity, but so is having a baby if that's what is right for you and DH!
Good luck.
Ditto Margaret about talking to your Gyno. You should schedule an appointment to see them before you TTC anyway.
And ditto Rachel on deciding what is more important to you. Maybe having a child as you planned and then someday taking that child on an African safari with you!
Good luck!
Shmel's Blog