Minneapolis/St. Paul Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What is etiquette if you don't attend a wedding?
So this is far overdue but DH and I were invited to DH's friend's wedding in August. We couldn't go. Do we send him a card with money or do we not need to? I don't feel as guilty having this be overdue as he didn't give us a present for our wedding and he was our usher. Not that it should matter...
Children Photography Photo Credit: Heather Barta Photography
Re: What is etiquette if you don't attend a wedding?
this. if you dont want to, then dont.
If they're friends--people whose wedding I would've liked to attend--then I always send a gift/card if I can't attend the wedding. But I really like gift-giving. The only times I haven't sent a gift for a wedding were in the cases of cousins who I haven't seen in ~15 years... I appreciated the polite invitation, but since I didn't really KNOW them, I didn't send a gift.
This exactly. I just like giving gifts, so at least something small and simple. But if you don't want to, then don't.
Nicole and Sam 10/3/09
I always send a gift when I can't attend a wedding. I also am of the view that it doesn't matter what someone else did as a gift for me (or didn't do), I still like to be polite and give a gift, just as I would for anyone. Perhaps as an usher he thought renting a tux (did he have to?) was gift enough? Guys can be dumb.
We usually try to send a gift/card. The only exceptions being one wedding (AHR, actually) when I had given her a gift at her shower even though she requested no gifts. And the other exception was for a couple in the UK that requested only hand-made gifts. Ummm - yeah, that didn't happen!
If he is/was important enough to be in your wedding party, then regardless of his actions toward you in the gift department, I'd say something - even something small - should be sent.