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Housecleaning...end of my rope! Help!
I live with my new hubby & a roomie who is our friend. We have lived together for about 6 months.
I currently do almost all the housecleaning. My hubby reluctantly does specific chores when asked to- but takes a few days to do them. Roomie will clean something of his own when I point out it's been sitting for days. They do just about nothing but their own laundry.
I am sick and tired of doing all the chores while they watch TV in their spare time. I am a busy woman with my own small business, and have better things to do than all the vaccumming, counter cleaning, pet cleanup, etc. I already had to banish use of the dining room table because I got tired of cleaning it twice a day.
FYI- the place is not disgusting, but they are just lazy & don't seem to care when the floor needs mopping. I like things reasonably fresh & clean at all times.
When I mentioned housecleaning ONCE a month, they are both whining about spending extra money they "don''t have". This is something I want to do, but not an expense I believe I should have to pay for on my own.
PLEASE- I need advice on how to talk to them about this!! Without loosing my mind. I'm so exasperated and about ready to move out on my own. This is really putting a strain on my marriage & roomie friendship:(
Re: Housecleaning...end of my rope! Help!
House meeting time!
Get the quotes from a cleaning service to present at the meeting
Also figure out the chores that need to be done and rotate them weekly. Use a marker board that lists them and have the name beside them.
Week of October 17
Trash and Bathroom - Jill
Dishes - Bob
Floors and Tables - Scott
Week of October 24
Trash and Bathroom - Scott
Dishes - Jill
Floors and Tables - Bob
Put up one week at a time.
When people know and agree on expectations they preform better.
Thanks for the advice.
I did get quotes from very reputable and reasonable cleaners... and they STILL whine about the price.
They both only work one job each.. We all make about the same $$ and pay the same amount of rent here.
I will try meeting with both of them, and discussing a chore list, etc. And see how that goes...
Unfortunately, it still leaves management of such in my hands. Since I'm sure I will have to constantly remind them to do their chores, and clean up after themselves.
I wish there was a way to make them just clean up or pay up!!
Have you heard of Fly Lady?
This is just the weekly 'house blessing', but it's 7 tasks that should each be completed in 10 minutes or less and it will keep your home in reasonably presentable fashion. If you write each of the tasks on a note card, every week each of you pick two cards. (One of the tasks is changing sheets, obviously you and your husband share a bed, so one of you take the odd leftover card.)
http://flylady.net/pages/FLYFaq.asp#whbh
Vacuum
Dust
Mop
Polish Mirrors and Doors
Purge magazines
Change Sheets
Empty all trash
While it's not detailed cleaning, it'll at least help stay on top of the major things, like dusting, vacuuming, mopping.
I'd be at the end of my rope,too.
I'm afraid I wouldn't be very nice. If you want their things picked up, pick them up and stash them someplace. Like the roommate, throw his things onto his floor. DH, throw his things onto his side of the bed, everyday. And don't do his laundry unless it is in its designated area.
Seriously, it took DH only one missed laundry week before he was out of undies and found them all on the floor. I wasn't about to pick them up and if that is where he wanted them, that's where they stayed.
I would say that "tonight the house is getting cleaned. I cannot watch TV while cleaning, so neither will you. You can help and get it done faster, or you can sit there for hours watching ME."
If that doesn't work, I guess you could try using the grocery money for housecleaning service.
I've done this a few times. As DH is getting ready to hop in the shower, I grab the hamper. He's asked me to grab his clothes that he tossed on the floor instead of in the hamper. It takes less than a minute for all of his clothes to be in the hamper.
Thank you everybody for your advice! This really helps...the two I quoted above made me feel 100% better.. I am going to use both these methods:) That should actually work with my hub & roomie!!
good for you!
I can't imagine my husband ever doing that, mostly bc it was negotiated before we moved in together. (ours was if he wanted homemade meals and me to clean the kitchen the rest was up to him, no joke and I stuck to it! the man loves to eat more than he hates taking out the trash or laundry!)
I wish you all the luck! I think you are brave having a roomate besides your husband!