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At a lost...

Warning this may be long..

So last night I get home from work to DH telling that a really good friend of the family was arrested last night for showing little girls porn and what not, but that there was no way he would do this. I honestly believed that this man would never do that. I have known him for 6 yrs and DH has known fim for over 10 yrs. So after he told me I looked up the article on line. Here is the article that is out http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2010/oct/14/fort-pierce-man-accused-of-showing-pornography/ 

The part that makes me sick is that he has known my in laws for years and one of the girls that he showed it to was their youngest daughter who is 9. I am really having mixed emoitons about this whole thing. Part of me wants to help him get help because I know that he really is a good guy that has been through a lot of the last year (lost his wife to lung cancer), but the other part says that he needs to stay in jail for a long long time and even then I dont want him around my kid. I guess after all this settles in and isnt such a shock then my feelings will sort out.

Sorry if this is long and all over the place. I have so many thoughts about this running through my head. 

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Re: At a lost...

  • Oh, Kellie, I'm very sad to say that I've been through this, too.  I had a very good friend in high school who was very talented in the martial arts.  He actually helped teach kids martial arts classes at a local studio.  He was the sweetest guy, and it was cute because he was so good with kids.   My friend got engaged to him about a year after graduation. 

    During their engagement, it came out that he had been collecting child porn.  I'm not sure what else exactly, but I know that something else happened, and he's officially listed on the sex offender registry, and can't teach martial arts to kids anymore.  Even now, I vary between feeling anger and pity.  Part of it is the disgust in the act.  Part of it is simply feeling stupid for not seeing it earlier.  

     T's and P's being sent your way.  I chose to not associate with him any more.  (There was more to the story than what I said above).  But you have to do what is right for you. 

  • I am so sorry that you and your family are dealing with this.  People that do this kind of stuff to kids are not right mentally (in my opinion) and I think about how I would feel if something like this happened to my child, sister, friend and it enrages me.

    T&Ps being sent your way. 

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  • I'm very sorry you have to deal with this, I know it's very disappointing.  He has an addiction, a very sick addiction....and he needs help.  Yes he has been through a lot but that is no excuse for anyone to behave this way (I'm not telling you...you know this...I'm just saying)...and he needs serious help and to be held accountable for his actions.  Hopefully those girls also get the help/counseling they need.  Hang in there. T&P.
  • It would be easy to say he's only been accused...but the article indicates that he has admitted that he has a problem.  I think at that point you can honor your good memories of him while understanding that he has gone seriously off the rails.  He needs to be held accountable for his actions.
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  • I'm so so sorry!  I don't have any advice to offer that PPs haven't already mentioned, but I'm keeping you and your family in my T&Ps.
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  • If it were me, I'd keep myself and my family far, far away. I know you want to feel bad for him, and that's fine, but the reality is that sex offenders do not recover from their addiction under any amount of treatment. They can try to learn to control their impulses, but it never goes away (much like alcoholism). That is why the registering process exists in the first place.

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  • Thanks girls. After talking to the in laws last night and hearing what my 9 yr old SIL said to te decetive about the whole situation made me sick to my stomach. All the girls that were involved have to go to consuling (sp).
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