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Fertility Awareness Method
Hi Ladies!
My fiance and I are getting married in January (both virgins), and I'm still trying to figure out birth control. I was on the nuva ring for a few weeks, but I have some weird health stuff that the doctors can't figure out and the added hormones made me feel REALLY bad ALL the time. My fiance and I have close friends that are going the natural route and I've been doing a lot of reading on that and wondered if any of you had advice. I know it's more work and time and that's why I wanted to try the hormones as a short-term fix... just cause there's a ton going on right now. But since my body couldn't deal with it, I'm looking into the FAM, which is very similar to NFP, if you're more familiar with that. The only difference that I can find that is FAM allows for a barrier method during sex while you're fertile while NFP says to be abstinent. That's just from my reading and I could be wrong.
Anyway. I'm just overwhelmed and don't know where to start. I've found a few helpful websites, but any personal advise/experience would be really appreciated! I want to get as familiar and comfortable with this as possible before we get married -- it's really important that we don't get pregnant any time soon! 
Thanks in advance!
Re: Fertility Awareness Method
ditto TCOYF. Also, sign up for fertility friend and start practice charting now, so you can get used to it and recognize your body signs.
Is there a reason why you can't use condoms plus FAM?
I was on BC for 5 years and stopped because of the horrible side effects (I tried many different types). I found out about FAM on this board and have been doing it for the past two years. I started out by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I felt overwhelmed at the start too especially since it is something that you don't want to get wrong
. We used condoms only for about two months until I got used to charting and felt confident in doing it right so you might be able to feel comfortable before your wedding.
I downloaded the tcoyf software after reading the book and that is the way I chart. There are also classes you can take through the catholic church (of course they teach NPF but the charting is the same) if you would like to learn that way. Their website is ccli.org.
Hope this helps!
No, no reason why we can't. I'm sure that's what we'll end up doing. We'd just love to not have to rely on condoms, entirely, so I was hoping it'd work out that I could get the hang of it.
I had read a lot on the TCOYF website, but it sounds like the book is really helpful, so I will pick that up. Thanks for the help, girls!
I am fully for natural family planning and its not as hard as it seems. Some say to take you temp. daily and track your periods as well as fluids....which really isn't a big deal once you start. Also I've heard way too many pill stories about not being about to get pregnant and hormonal issues due to the pill that its simply not worth all the risks. Natural family planning is rather easy to do and if you have an iphone theres of course tons of apps for it and they help keep track of everything with a calendar to tell you when your fertile or not. And if you need help learning about natural family planning most christian churches have a representative who teaches couples how to properly "do" natural family planning.
ps: its a good thing to start asap in order to calculate correctly your ovulation and fertile stages!
I've been using FAM for just about two years now. It's as effective as you want it to be, depending on how diligent you are about monitoring your fertility. Once you get the hang of it, it's really second nature. In addition to the advice you've got so far...TCOYF and fertilityfriend.com....I'd suggest to get your hubby good and educated about the method as well. I think one of the reasons I've liked it as much as I have is that my husband is pretty involved...he views it as "our" fertility, and not just my responsibility. I don't give him every little detail everyday, haha...but he does hand me the thermometer every morning, and he understands my cycle and knows where I'm at with it most of the time. He doesn't just roll his eyes when I tell him it's time for a condom.
It was a few months before we felt comfortable going without a condom during non-fertile times. Good luck!
FAM is awesome! I've been using it for 3 and a half years without a problem at all and I NEVER want kids. It just becomes a way of life after a while. It's as effective as you want it to be. Since DH and I are extremely motivated to avoid pregnancy we never go unprotected before ovulation (use condoms), then abstain completely during the fertile phase (a week to 10 days) and then can go unprotected after ovulation. Now that's SUPER strict and we NEVER cheat because we're crazy motivated against pregnancy and I'm so paranoid I would freak if we relied on condoms or another barrier during the fertile time. I would never trust hormonal methods either. Now I know I'm a little nuts!
I know lots of women who use a barrier during the fertile time and are totally fine. But that's what I like about FAM - you get to choose how strictly you want to follow it. Oh and I agree with the PP to get your DH on board. It really helps when he's very supportive and shares in the responsibility.
Definitely check out TCOYF and their website. The forums are there are very helpful. You'll be amazed learn all about your body and how OBVIOUS the fertility signs are when you know what to look for - it's really empowering! Don't be surprised if people tell you that their friend/aunt/cousin/sister got pregnant using natural methods. (Same stories apply to just about every form of BC!) Just know that if you follow the rules correctly, are diligent about charting and strict with the rules, it's very effective. Most people who have oopses have either not followed the rules right or knew they were taking a risk. Oh, and an extra bonus - you will NEVER be surprised by your period again. Your temp plummets the day you're going to get your period. Even if it doesn't show in the morning, you can be positive it will show sometime that day!
Best of luck!
this. I absolutely love the FAM. I wish I would have ditched the pills sooner.
My hubby and I use the Creighton model of natural family planning, which is probably the same as FAM.
I took the pill and the patch for a while for ovarian cysts when I was younger.... and it sucked. Going without it makes me feel really free and natural, as cheesy as that sounds. I love it.
My husband and I were in the same boat when we got married about 10 months ago. I love the concept of FAM and read through TCOYF.
. . . And now we have a beautiful little honeymoon baby.
But I don't really think it was FAM that was the problem. We had some "technical difficulties"- AKA broken condoms (yes, plural) during the fertile period. O_o
That's the thing - you do have to be strict about it. I don't trust any sort of back up during the fertile period - we just abstain. Our wedding night was 2 days before ovulation and we still stuck to those same rules - if we had taken a chance and used condoms (even if there was no breakage) I would have been so worried that I wouldn't have enjoyed the honeymoon. This might sound crazy, but it really works for us. In fact, it makes things after the fertile window (and the anticipation leading up to the safe time) way more enjoyable. There's lots of other things you can do during the fertile time that won't break any rules. Since we've been doing things this way for 3 years, it's really a way of life for us and my DH knows just where I am in my cycle almost as well and I do. He'll ask if he's unsure, but generally he just knows when it's "the window" and we adjust our activities accordingly.
But again, for us pregnancy is something we never want and does not have any place in our lives. That's the only reason we're crazy-strict about it.