Low Sex Drive

xinightingale · October 2010

Hi everyone,

I need help. My husband and I used to have a lot of sex before we were married. We had nights where we couldn't wait to come home from a date and fool around. When we got engaged, we decided to stop having sex until our wedding night. It was a mutual decision, one we thought would make our wedding night special and more memorable.

Well, we were so exhausted after our wedding that we barely had the energy, but we did it anyways. Ever since then, though, it seems I have had little or no interest in sex with my husband. I love him, I am attracted to him, but it seems as if I'd always rather sleep than get it on at night, and I've always been one who found it awkward to do it during the day. I don't understand what happened, I just can't seem to get in the mood. I get upset about this a lot because I feel like something is wrong with me. Any advice?

(We also have an 8-month old puppy who makes it difficult to have "alone" time. Although we had this problem before him, he contributes to the problem.)

littleamers · October 2010

Sometimes I get worried about not being interested but in my opinion, I have found that quality is better than quantity. You can have a lot of lousy sex leaving you wanting more and more to get satisfaction out of what should have been done the first time, or you can go longer without because the last time it happened it was true quality. If we've had true quality, I don't think about it nearly as much as I would if it were a lousy session. It is almost like my body just "checks off" that priority until a later date. It did concern me considering we've only been married for 6 months and "checking off" sex as a priority echoes a couple who has been married for 20 years with kids. Sometimes life happens like that, doesn't mean you don't enjoy it. And I am the one who usually falls asleep right before we have a chance to begin anything steamy simply because I am usually so tired by the time I get to bed. I have found initiating things in other rooms of the house helps me stay awake. Hope this helps.

TarponMonoxide · October 2010

I suggest a sex therapist. The 2 of you seemed to be good and randy when sex was more or less wicked wanton and verboten because you 2 were not married...and now there is a problem getting your engines started now that the 2 of you are legally wed.

This almost sounds like a Madonna-Wh0re complex situation (google and you'll find out what the M-W C is and what it means and what its implications are. This is fixable; again, see a sex therapist. GL.

admccal · October 2010

If this isn't my story exactly, I dont know what is! I SO know what you mean and it does make you feel sad. We have been married for almost five months and I am now realizing that it is TRUE that quality is better than quantity.

Low Sex Drive

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