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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Thoughts on Sister Wives
How WEIRD would it be to help your legal husband get all dressed up to go to his "spiritual wedding" with his 4th wife? And then to hug him goodbye in the parking lot after the wedding and send him off to his "wedding night" with his new "wife"??
I just cannot wrap my head around this at. all.
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Re: Thoughts on Sister Wives
I totally agree. It freaks me out.
However, it doesn't surprise me that all of the wive (I think) also grew up in a polygamist culture. When you grow up with something so enmeshed in your family lifestyle, I can see how you would seek it out because nothing else would seem "normal." That doesn't make it ok in my eyes, personally...but I can understand their motives given their upbringing.
I can't wrap my head around it either, at all. I understand this is what they grew up around so somehow it's normal to them, but I don't get it.
I didn't want the whole series but caught part of the finale. It made me so uncomfortable I couldn't watch the whole thing. The thought of helping your husband get all gussied up for his "wedding", kissing him and being affectionate as he's about to "marry" another woman. Cringe...
Judging
Meri (the "legal" 1st wife) said, "I wish it was MY wedding night" and then giggled. *cringe*
Unless I'm remembering wrong, Kody did NOT grow up in a polyg lifestyle. Maybe he's just a horndog perv who likes to get it on a LOT. ?? I cringed again when Kody said about his wedding, "I'm so excited today! It's like I'm 12." Twelve?? He does act like a big kid. And for Pete's sake cut that weird hair.
I can get on board with their family vs. other polyg families where teenaged girls are forced into an arrangement with a much older man. Those types of families REALLY skeeve me out. I don't "get" the Browns but they do seem to be a loving happy family however weirdly it is organized...
They are investigating him for poligamy. Apparently you only need to proove that they were living as multiple wives, one husband to charge it in Utah.
I think that the original wife wants out, but stays for some reason. I think the second wife is disconnected from them because of all the work that she does outside the home. I think the third wife is resigned to living that way because she knows nothing different. The fourth wife appears to the be the husband's play thing. But I'm not addicted to the show or anything.
Photo taken at 16 months old
He's actually under investigation for bigamy not polygamy.
I agree that Meri, the first wife, wants out. DH think the 3rd wife is a lesbian. I did not like the way Kody reacted to Christine needing a moment when he said he picked out Robyn's dress.
I wish there were more episodes. I also wish they would truly address their feelings more. I think they hide a lot of what they feel and think about the whole situation.
*M&M* Super Pitbulls
I think was a "test run" to see how receptive people were to it. I'm sure they will order more episodes because it's become a popular show.
For my own selfish reasons, I hope so.
Another thing I thought of a few episodes back: I wish Kody would think about his family more. His daughter from Meri said she wanted to go to the Naval Academy and he said she wouldn't be able to if she didn't go to public school. But now that this show has come out, wouldn't that affect her getting into the Academy? I feel like he is doing this show for his own reasons, and not for the betterment of his whole family.
*M&M* Super Pitbulls
I have not been watching the show because I haven't had time to figure out when it's on! Was it last night? Anyway, I have been reading the recaps on TVgasm, which are super funny, btw, but I think it is super crazy! I agree with you, kiz, I cannot wrap my head around it at all. The hubby seems like a total douche, so I have no idea how he managed to woo and "marry" three women! Can you imagine being one of those kids?! Gah, it's too much...
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Married Bio
When he discussed courting wife #4 one of his sons said, "Go get 'em tiger!"
The kids don't know any different so I'm sure it's all hunky dory with them. I wonder how many of them will wind up in a polyg marriage later... Hmm.
There was a one-time documentary on a couple of years ago about a "regular" guy, not a fundamentalist Mormon or anything, who decided one day that he wanted two wives. He had an affair with a lady and told his "first" wife that she could either accept the new wife or leave. She was super pissed, but went a long with it.
Then, a few years later, he decided he wanted a third. The second wife was like "no way!." The first wife was so beaten down by it that she just agreed.
Anyway, by the end of the documentary the whole family was split up. It was insane. The guy even had a book on Amazon about plural marriage.
http://www.amazon.com/Three-Ring-Marriage-Dysfunction-Dynamic/dp/1931741018
Judging
Oh wow, did you read the reviews?! Check this one out....
In the beginning of this book, the author states that everything written in this book is true. You see, Mr. Murray-Wachtendorf, there are many people out here that know who you really are. In my opinion, this book offers nothing of any value to society. You did not tell the truth about many things in this book. You may feel some uncontrolable urge to try and make others believe that you have an insight on how marriages and families should operate, I think public record will speak for itself. I have shared this book with several people who knew you years ago and with people who do not know you--the reaction is the same, they do not believe you, disturbed by your statements, and wonder how you could teach in the public school system (they have read the articles on the Stafford M.S.D., Texas incident where you were teaching and chose to bring a loaded .45 calibur semi-automatic weapon to the campus where it was stolen by a student and you resigned your position even though you claimed that you did nothing wrong--stories can be read by simply typing in the author's name via internet searches). This book is "wordy." It insults my intelligence. This book will serve a definite purpose soon, if nothing but paper to start the fireplace roaring (that is your one star).
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HA! Thanks for correcting me. As I was typing it I kept thinking that it didn't sound right in my head.
I'm totally in love with this show. The dynamics of the wives fascinate me.
I don't really have a problem with the polygamy aspects of it, because for me, as long as it is all consenting, and they are all adults, they can do whatever they want. The kids are cared for, everyone seems loved, and some of the older children have said they don't want to be in plural marriages when they grow up, so it isn't beat into them that they have to believe. (Incidentally, wife #2, Janelle, was not raised in a plural family. The other three wives were.) I don't particularly like the bigamy investigation, especially because if they lived in another state, their family union wouldn't be illegal. (Utah's laws are different due to the Mormon church agreeing to give up polygamy in exchange for statehood.)
I do sort of feel like Janelle seems like she's only in it for the free childcare while she works, though. And Meri is totally over it. Kody seems to not have a whole lot of depth to him, but maybe that's the the ADD (or whatever it is that makes him so bouncy--speed?).
TLC has picked the show up for another season.
I have read that law enforcement "knows of" tons of polyg families but doesn't prosecute. Kind of a turn a blind eye type of thing. People are raising a stink because this family would be prosecuted only because they are in the lime light now.
What laws are they actually breaking? That I'm unclear on. Some say welfare fraud, others say bigamy. But is it bigamy if only one marriage is legally recognized? Or does Utah legally recognize the "spiritual" wives? I'm 10 kinds of confused!
There was an article I read about Utah's laws specifically changing to include bigamy being defined as the man is married to one wife and cohabitating with the rest. Prior to that, the cases must have included more documentation about the actual marriage ceremony that was held.
Kody specifically said that he was tired of living their secret and wanted it all out in the open. I don't know if he did it thinking that it would change some people's ideas of the lifestyle or if he was just wanting his family to be done with the secretness of it. But in going on a TV show you open yourself and in his case, his family also to the world having some documentation of what you're doing. That's both good and bad.
While it seems to work for some of the wives and certainly works for Kody, it doesn't sit well with all the kids.
The Utah AG's office has said they don't generally prosecute bigamy unless there is welfare fraud or child abuse also involved. There are no allegations that there is any welfare fraud or child abuse in the Brown family. Those are the cases that come out of those compounds on the AZ/UT border--the Warren Jeff's people.
I understand the local police believed they had to investigate, though, because I guess technically they are breaking a law and talking about it on tv. I just think it is dumb that Utah has a different law than other states. The Lehi police investigated and turned the info over to the AG's office, which has not indicated whether it will prosecute other than its statement above about not generally prosecuting unless other crimes are involved.
I think I understood it as this - They are breaking the law if the legally marry more than one person (duh). They are breaking the law if the live in the same house, all of them together.
The reason why they won't get charged is because Kody is only legally married to Meri. And they do all live in the same house, but it's seperate apartments within one house, which I believe is within the laws. I think that is how I heard it described.
just my thoughts/opinion
I think the 'in your face' showing of it on TV almost forced law enforcement to investigate. Almost like they couldn't turn a blind eye to it.
Interestingly, I went to a justice forum last week and one of the presenters talked about how the US was one of the only countries that splits justice systems and laws up by state, rather than as a country.
Interesting. I wonder if the house design is a "sneaky" way to get around the law? They did say a polyg contractor built it.
I also wonder if they'll get a new house so Robyn can have her own apartment? It's weird she lives 2 blocks away.
Being in the residential architecture field it's interesting to think of the design aspects of a house like that. It's not something I've ever been asked to do at my office before :-)