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Small Vent
I know I bring this up often....sorry =(
I told my MIL i'm resigning from my job and she goes on and on how I shouldn't. H just tells her its our choice and we need me to have to find a full time job (which I have found a full time job). But she works in the same district as me and sees atleast once a week, and she is always in our business trying to get stuff out of me, I kind of think this is why she doesn't want me to leave.
H doesn't talk about our married life to his fam b/c they tend to tell each other everything...
So she brings up us having children again!! We have been married since June, she says when H finishes MBA you can be a stay at home mom and start having kids, you will be financial stable, since that's something you think about so much.
Just because we want kids in the FUTURE doesn't mean I want to be a stay at home mom, maybe I will one day but it won't make me any less of a good mom if I still work, which she seems to think. Just because H and I think about finances and don't want to just start popping babies out, doesn't mean money is all we think about!!
Re: Small Vent
You've got to take some of this power back from her. Why get defensive? She makes that comment, just say "Thanks for your opinion!" and then smile and walk away.
Don't explain, don't defend.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
She sounds like a person who will share her opinion to anyone with ears. Instead of trying to stop that behavior, stop responding. Memorize this:
"MIL, this is our decision and it is not open for discussion." Then change the topic.
If she acts hurt, appalled, etc., don't buy into it or fuel her fire. Simply repeat phrase above until she stops.
I have gotten much better about standing up to her Hhas too he doesn't listen to her crap, it has gotten easier and easier as time has gone on. She just came here on her planning period and went on and on about it. I had to just "get it out" lol I told her when were ready to have kids we will, and that's the end of it!!
I also told her me leaving was up to H and I and that was that. I then pretended to have work to do and left. Even though I'm on lunch!!
Haha I guess I shouldn't have but I know if I didn't she would find out eventually.
Have you told her before that "having babies" is not up for discussion?
I think I would have just stared at her, blinked a few times, then gone back to what I was doing. Just no response at all.
Oh yes she knows it's not up for discussion she just brings up thinking its ok, and we always tell her its not. H gets really upset when she brings it up, which has worked really well in my favor!!
I totally understand her looking forward to grandchildren. However, this is your decision and you and your Husband will decide when the time is right.
My friend actually moved his family 3 times because of a meddling MIL. I agree with one of the other posters who said "thank you", smile and walk away. It is none of her business. Go for the other job. It may sound like a great idea to work in the same circles and even live close, but sooner or later the sh*t hits the fan.
Why are you telling her so much, involving her in so much of your lives? It's your life -- don't tell her, don't share with her. If she asks, answer, but if she gives her two cents, just say "thank you," and walk away. Sounds to me like she's trying to run your lives and if that were me, it would make me want to share less, not more.
I typically only lurk but thought I'd offer you two other responses that I habitually use with my mom/nosey people regarding children/marriage/any private topic:
1. You won't know before I do
2. I'm having step-children (my personal favorite regarding when/if I'm having children)