Curious...your thoughts?

OSUWifey09 · October 2010

One of my sister's friends just started dating this guy a month or two ago. Thing is: this guy's married and in an open relationship. He gave his wife the option to see other people, but she isn't - but the guy's seeing my friend, and apparently, they're in love and she's moving to his city to be with him...?

Could you do an open marriage? What if your H wanted to be in an open marriage - is that grounds for divorce for you? I'm just curious, because I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this. I'm not judging them or anything...I guess it's just a different concept for me.

KSMILEY 77 · October 2010

I try not to judge, but it would definitley not be for me! I married DH because he is the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life. I would hope he feels the same way. If he wanted an open relationship some time into the marriage, we would definitley need to seek some counseling and or persue a divorce. I mean, we went into this marriage knowing that was our vow to each other. If he wanted an open relationship, he would have needed to tell me before getting married and then I never would have married him. haha

maynard1978 · October 2010

Honestly, what is the point of being married if you're going to see other people?? I guess I just don't get it. The reason I married H was because I only want to be with him....if he came to me years down the line and asked for an open marriage, we would either go straight to counseling or divorce court. That would not be ok with me.

aligator423uf · October 2010

maynard1978:
Honestly, what is the point of being married if you're going to see other people?? I guess I just don't get it. The reason I married H was because I only want to be with him....if he came to me years down the line and asked for an open marriage, we would either go straight to counseling or divorce court. That would not be ok with me.

ITA with this. If you want an open marriage then you probably shouldn't be married. Hellno would I be ok with DH dating someone else.

Is she ok with him being married? And possibly dating other people besides her? It just seems like a recipe for heartbreak. I can't imagine being "in love" and want to date other people at the same time.

jhdance111 · October 2010

aligator423uf:

maynard1978:
Honestly, what is the point of being married if you're going to see other people?? I guess I just don't get it. The reason I married H was because I only want to be with him....if he came to me years down the line and asked for an open marriage, we would either go straight to counseling or divorce court. That would not be ok with me.

ITA with this. If you want an open marriage then you probably shouldn't be married. Hellno would I be ok with DH dating someone else.

Is she ok with him being married? And possibly dating other people besides her? It just seems like a recipe for heartbreak. I can't imagine being "in love" and want to date other people at the same time.

Same with me. I could not do this, put up with this, or any type of dealing with this situation.

LarissaAnn · October 2010

I know quite a few polyamorous people because of the time I spend with groups of alternate sexual lifestyles - Wicked Faire and other related events. I don't judge. I don't even blink at it anymore. But if E wanted it, it'd be divorce-worthy. I don't care what anyone else does, but I don't share.

nchambers1123 · October 2010

I would have to say OH HECK NO on this one.. lol.

I would not be ok with DH dating anyone else. What's the point of being married? It goes against my beliefs and if he ever said anything about it we would go to counseling or possibly just divorce. Can't imagine it.

And I agree, I think it's just a recipe for heartbreak and a.lot.of.drama.

Vikki2pay · October 2010

I have known marriages like this and they seem to work for the couple, but if it was something that DH wanted I wouldn't be ok with it. I got married to be with him and only him.

LarissaAnn · October 2010

Open marriages can apparently work if both parties are in to it. In this case it doesn't sound like the wife really is, so that's looking for trouble in the marriage. But I also think your friend's a bit of an idiot. Open marriage or no open marriage, she'll likely always be the third wheel.

OSUWifey09 · October 2010

I agree with you guys. My friend's head over heels in love with this guy, but if the guy is married and seeing her...what's gonna stop him from seeing someone else? I think she's just pushed out of his mind that he's married, and he obviously can't marry her if he's already married [unless he gets a divorce, of course]...

Sigh. She's kind of emotional anyway, so I'm hoping she doesn't get her heart broken if the guy decides to a.) start dating ANOTHER girl, or b.) goes back to his wife full-time. I couldn't do it. I'm with you ladies - I married H because he's the ONLY one I want to be with. I don't want to share him, and he wouldn't want to share me, either. That's just a recipe for emotional disaster in my book.

Thanks for sharing your insights.

amethyst1220 · October 2010

what they said

LarissaAnn · October 2010

LOL, last night I told E about this and he said I could have an open marriage... if I was married to someone else.

And Ebonie, count on it. Your friend's headed for heartbreak. Be ready.

ashleymvee · October 2010

Yea, no...I agree with you guys, whats the point of marriage if you gonna share? Not for me, no way! She is headed for disaster.

justrachet · October 2010

ITA with everyone. To me, the point of marriage is that it's closed. And I wouldn't have considered myself in a relationship with someone, as BF/GF, if it were an open relationship.

BB8785 · October 2010

If B came to me with this kind of thought towards marriage, I would immediately file for divorce.

If one girl isn't enough for one guy, then why get married? What a stupid, stupid girl. If that guy is already seeking one girl, he is probably out seeking more.

the domesticated newlywed · October 2010

H always says " I couldn't have more than 1 wife, I have a hard enough time with you, "

ha.

OSUWifey09 · October 2010

the domesticated newlywed:
H always says " I couldn't have more than 1 wife, I have a hard enough time with you, "
ha.

Nice one.

I'm bracing myself for the heartbreak that could come after she moves to be closer to him. Sigh. I wish she'd get it...

OSUWifey09 · October 2010

the domesticated newlywed:
H always says " I couldn't have more than 1 wife, I have a hard enough time with you, "
ha.

Nice one.

I'm bracing myself for the heartbreak that could come after she moves to be closer to him. Sigh. I wish she'd get it...

Curious...your thoughts?

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