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losing erection??
So sometimes, we will be all heated up, getting it on and he will randomly lose it.... we'll continue messing around and sometimes it'll come back and we are good but sometimes it doesnt and he gets frustrated. I know that his ex was really harsh on him about this and made him pretty insecure about this sort of thing. He also grew up in an extremely strict, religious family and sex was frounded upon unless married.
So i've taken this all into consideration, i dont take it personally. But its hard... sometimes it makes me wonder if he's not attracted or if there's something else. I know its not me, he's mentioned that his ex was harsh and made him feel incompetant. I dont want to make him feel this way, and know it can be normal with stress, or a distracted mind.
just wondering how many other people have this issue?
Re: losing erection??
I usually dont post on any board and I just read all the threads, but i think i will reply to this one.
My fh can lose or not even get a hard on if he has to pee or if his stomach hurts and I dont know it. I completely understand that, but occassionally he wont even finish. That I dont understand and I wonder if I will ever know why.
He says its not me but it really sucks knowing that for some reason he cant go. It still bothers me. So no, you arent the only one with some sort of problem.
This exactly. Bear in mind the problem is fixable. The penis is the dipstick to a man's health.
DH had this issue before we were engaged. It was more so when he put a condom on the erection went away. We just found some condoms he liked and went with that.
Sounds like he may need some counseling even though men hate that!
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
I actually wouldn't worry about him going to see a doctor just yet, since it sounds to me like it's all psychological. You said that his ex was very harsh about him losing his erection, so he's probably got that voice in his head putting all kinds of pressure on him, which just makes him more likely to lose focus and his erection. Not to mention his upbringing having an effect on his sexual self-esteem.
It sounds like you are being very understanding about all this, which is great. I know it's hard to not think that the problem might be you, but trust me, from what you've said, it's highly unlikely that the problem has anything to do with you. Just continue being understanding and helping him become more comfortable with you in bed, and eventually it won't happen as often. My DH used to have this problem, mostly because he is easily distracted (VERY easily distracted). Once we were more comfortable with each other and sex, he had less difficulty keeping hard.
This happens with H sometimes. Usually if he's stressed about work or something non-sex related. He just can't relax enough to get hard and then the fact that he's not getting hard immediately stresses him out even more and it just won't happen.
He ended up going to the docs just in case and the doc said he was healthy and just had to reign in his anxiety.
A friend of mine had the same thing happen and the doc gave her husband a couple Viagra pills. He told her H to take just half of a pill before sex and that it should get his confidence back and make the anxiety of preforming go away. The doc said that he prescribed this for a ton of younger guys (in their mid to late 20's) for this exact problem. She said that that worked wonders, one time after taking it he was back without problem.
Get him to to the docs and get it checked, just in case there's something physical (most likely it's not from the sounds of it though). One thing that helps us, if he can't do it one night then the next night we'll sometimes plan something really relaxing (a walk after supper, a hot bath together, glass of wine...something that will just ease his work stress so that he can focus on "us").
And don't blame yourself, it has nothing to do with how attracted you are, if he's stressed or distracted no amount of hotness is going to change that.
My H faced the same problem and his was linked to his over active blather medication. Is he on any medications that this could be side effect of. i hope think work out for. i would ask him to see the Dr.
Well sometimes my hands work faster than my brain and I look stupid on these post
Correction
I hope things work out for you.