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Newborn twins & sex confession - probably TMI. (Am I alone??)
I was out on pelvic rest in February throughout the end of my pregnancy (translation=sex was off limits). Twins were born in June (2 months early via c-section) and we were back and forth in the NICU for 2 months. When that was over (in Auguust), we finally had the mindset to try sex.
Weeeeelllllll, that didn't go so well. It hurt -- the first time in my life -- and we weren't able to go 'all the way'. I was very dry (again, for the first time in my life), most likely from the breastfeeding. So, that was a failed attempt.
Since then, we've been pretty exhausted, as most new parents are. And we only had our 2nd attempt this past weekend (I'm still breastfeeding, by the way). My lubrication seemed to be back to normal except for the last 20%, again, feeling like we were being prevented from going all the way again. This time, we were armed with KY Jelly...but it didn't seem to last all the way to the deep part, where I needed it. So, it hurt again.
At this point, to be honest with you, I don't know if it's mental or physical. Am I just tensing up and preventing that last stretch by being psyched out? Or, am I truly dry in there, but only at the deepest part? I've tried pulling out the tricks: heavy foreplay to get the juices flowing, being very romantic to get very comfortable and let my guard down 100%, and even gone the porno route, which is like a slam-dunk for me. Nothing worked.
We've been married 7 years (I'm 33) and honestly have been a horn-dog my whole life (translation=sex has NEVER EVER been an issue for me). I've always been super-duper wet and ready to get it on any time with DH. Now, it's the COMPLETE opposite: dry with no libido. What gives??
Re: Newborn twins & sex confession - probably TMI. (Am I alone??)
I'm going to put a twist on the previous advice since you said you already had lube:
Get BETTER lube, KY is crap.
Try something called WET Platinum or Swiss Navy lube. They're both silicone based which means they stay slick longer than water based and they don't leave as sticky a residue as oil based lubes.
Also use more than you think you would ever need, put it on him and yourself, it makes a difference.
I'll go one further! Get new lube, and try Pre-Seed. Yeah yeah yeah it's fertility friendly- not the point. The point is that a nice box of it online comes with several applicators. It's the slipperiest stuff we have ever had in our bedroom (one of the complaints on the TTC boards on the bump is that it's almost too slippery) and the applicator, while a strange idea, gets it farther in than the usual finger application.
Frankly, I've had to skip the applicator and only use a quarter of the recommended amount. If you use the full recommended amount and the applicator I can't imagine having any dryness associated pain
It's pretty cool stuff. There's not really much point in a fertility friendly lube for us given that I don't ovulate and my husband's sperm couldn't find their way out of a paper sack with a map and a flashlight- but I'll keep buying it anyway because it's incredibly effective (and condom friendly if that's something you use).
Friends for 15 years. Married 8. TTC since January 2009
2010 Diagnosis: Anovulation and Severe MFI
2011 Treatment:
IVF w/ICSI #1 Antagonist: 2 blasts - c/p - BFN 04.22
FET #1: 1 blast/1 early blast - BFP 06.22 - m/c 06.30 @6w0d
07-11 RPL: MTHFR C677T Heterozygous & Slightly elevated ACLA IgM
FET #2: 1 morula - BFN: 9.02
January '12: IVF #2
Started BCP and Metformin (New!) 12-14 for stimming in January
Dum spiro, spero.
?SAIF/PAIF/PgAL/PAL always welcome?
Did that make anyone else cringe? It sounds so disparaging and disrespectful towards the husband, as if he could help having infertility issues.
Eh, that's how he puts it. It's disparaging the sperm, not the guy. We've been through every test the doctors can throw at us and at this point humor is about all that's left. Sorry that the attempt at levity fell flat
Friends for 15 years. Married 8. TTC since January 2009
2010 Diagnosis: Anovulation and Severe MFI
2011 Treatment:
IVF w/ICSI #1 Antagonist: 2 blasts - c/p - BFN 04.22
FET #1: 1 blast/1 early blast - BFP 06.22 - m/c 06.30 @6w0d
07-11 RPL: MTHFR C677T Heterozygous & Slightly elevated ACLA IgM
FET #2: 1 morula - BFN: 9.02
January '12: IVF #2
Started BCP and Metformin (New!) 12-14 for stimming in January
Dum spiro, spero.
?SAIF/PAIF/PgAL/PAL always welcome?
Pre-seed, the enema for your vagina.
I'm a fan of Pjur Eros. It's silicone based and doesn't dry up or cream up like waterbased lubes.
Seriously, new motherhood + bfing = tumbleweeds in your panties
You need better lube. Try Astroglide.
I highly doubt this was meant to be "disparaging and disrespectful". It was pretty darn funny actually. We're discussing lube. Lighten up.
my read shelf:
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Absolutely hilarious. Unfortunate situation, but the poster of that has a very entertaining manner of speaking.
2nd the Eros lube. Unbelievable stuff
Could be multiple things. I had my son almost 7 months ago - naturally but with an episiotomy. Been having major issues with sex as well.
I talked to my gyn and she said I needed lube when breastfeeding - even if I "felt wet" we should use lube. First time for me ever needing lube as well. She recommended liquid version - KY SilkE or warming liquid. It worked way better than jelly.
As for the pain - if it is general pain (all over discomfort) lube and relaxing should help. Big thing for me after so many painful failed attempts was that I kept expecting pain. If the pain is in a specific spot - go get checked out by your ob/gyn. May be some issue there or as in my case, nothing but she gave me a prescription for some numbing med.