March 2009 Weddings
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Our Thanksgiving plans changed....

.....and not for the better.

Typically we go to DH's paternal grandparents who live about 5 minutes away, then head to my parents house for the rest of the day.

This year we will do neither.  We will be driving to East Texas to be with DH's maternal grandparents.  Apparently his granddad has requested the ENTIRE family be there (even extended family).  He's been saying things like, "It's been a good life" and "I want everyone together one last time".

He isn't telling us he's sick or dying but apparently that is the thought.  DH's mom thinks it's lung cancer because he's been going to a bunch of specialists, he's selling the house so his wife can have a smaller one to take care of on her own.

It's really sad.  I truthfully don't know him well but it doesn't make it any less sad.  My heart aches for my husband because he's the oldest grandchild and a "favorite".  He doesn't want to go because he doesn't want to see his granddad sick and he said he feels like when he goes he's admitting it's the beginning of the end.

I told him we need to go.  We'll be missing Thankgiving with my family this year but my mom understood it was more important for us to go.

What a sucky holiday it will be now...ugh!

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Re: Our Thanksgiving plans changed....

  • That does suck. But at least it will be a chance to spend time with him and that part of the family.
  • imagealigator423uf:
    That does suck. But at least it will be a chance to spend time with him and that part of the family.

     I agree with this. I mean, I know it's not going to be easy...but going to his side of the family isn't too bad once in a while? Or maybe it is, I don't know-- sorry if I missed it-- do you always go w your side of the family for Turkey day?

    You could always do 2. One w his side on Thanksgiving and then with your family the day after- or weekend before/etc. :)

  • Yeah, we will go to my parents the day after most likely.  It's not that part that even bothers me.  It's seeing my H hurting through all of this.  It could be the last time we see his granddad and that's sad.
    image

    PCOS and Endo

    Ovarian drilling and endo removed 1/3/12
    BFP - 3/27/12
    Beta's 11, 14, 57, 637, 2800
    Sono showed no baby and teeny tiny sac. Waiting to M/C naturally.

  • That is so sad for you and your H. Losing a grandparent is hard, especially to an illness that you can see taking them. I went home to say goodbye to my grandpa when he was in hospice and it was so difficult to see him there. I'm glad I got to say goodbye but at the same time I wish I could've just left it as I'd seen him the time before- we didn't know about his cancer at that point and just thought he was crazy old Grandpa.

    ((Hugs)) You totally don't need this right now! I'm still praying hard for you guys, every night!

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  • That is really sucky, but as you know it is for the best.  What a poor man if this is really true!  I'm sending T&P's to him.
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  • Yeah, it sucks, but you're right, he needs to go. If this is the beginning of the end and he didn't go, he'd really regret it.
  • imageLarissaAnn:
    Yeah, it sucks, but you're right, he needs to go. If this is the beginning of the end and he didn't go, he'd really regret it.

    I agree, and I'm glad you still get to see your parents for the holidays.

  • I remember FIL's last Thanksgiving...at that point, the cancer was spreading, he'd pretty much admitted this would probably be his last one alive [and he was right], and it was really hard for H. He proposed the Thanksgiving after his dad died, and he cried throughout the entire day/night. It was so hard.

    I know it could end up being a rough holiday, but I'm glad you guys are going. I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts.

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  • imageVikki2pay:

    imageLarissaAnn:
    Yeah, it sucks, but you're right, he needs to go. If this is the beginning of the end and he didn't go, he'd really regret it.

    I agree, and I'm glad you still get to see your parents for the holidays.

    this

  • imageVikki2pay:

    imageLarissaAnn:
    Yeah, it sucks, but you're right, he needs to go. If this is the beginning of the end and he didn't go, he'd really regret it.

    I agree, and I'm glad you still get to see your parents for the holidays.

    I too 100% agree with this. Y'all need to go.  If you don't the only thing he is going to remember is, granddad asked me to go, and I didn't.  That will eat him up more than anything.  (huggs)

  • I'm so sorry to hear this Ashley.  I hope that everyone is able to enjoy their time with him at Thanksgiving.  ((hugs)) to you!
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  • I know it is an extremely sad situation and will be a rather hard holiday, but I think you and your DH need to approach the trip a little differently.  (Easy for me to say, I know.)  Try not to view it as a "sucky holiday" but as a chance to celebrate with family.  If his granddad has requested a family get-together I'm sure he doesn't want it to be a sad "saying good-bye" event, but more of a celebration of family.  Try to forget for the visit that it could be the "beginning of the end" and approach it as any other holiday with the family - a joyous, happy occasion.  Trust me, I know how hard what I'm saying is to actually carry out, but years later your DH will be glad for the happy memories.
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