Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Think Stepkids live with a predator
Okay am I overthinking this or overreacting?
My stepkids SS 8 and SD 11 (almost 12 and is starting puberty). They live with their mom every other week for 7 days, she has a live-in boyfriend. This boyfriend I have met and he is a huge douche. He just seems creepy, I dont get a good vibe from him, and he really is a douche! lol. Anyway...
SD is taking a shower, SS walks in on her and almost whips out his thing to go to the bathroom. She screams etc. Well, DH tells SS no peeing in front of girls! And SD to lock the door. Well then I hear it...
SD/SS were told by boyfriend that the new house rule is no locking the bathroom door when you shower! Because if anything might happen they can get it in.... such as slipping and breaking your arm.
There was no incident that made this rule, he just came up with it! Also, all bathroom doors have that lil' hole thing to unlock the door if needed. We especially know this about their house. The doors can be unlocked easily.
BTW, at their house SD listens to the loud radio while she showers, at our house we dont have a radio, so easier to hear someone come in. Also, boyfriend has only lived with them for around 3 months or so. They have been together for maybe 6 months?
Okay, so what are your thoughts? This seem creepy? Or am I thinking too much?
Re: Think Stepkids live with a predator
I dunno...I grew up in a house where the front bathroom, which my mom, sister, and I all used the most, didn't even have a working door (sliding murphey door that never worked) so it was an open-door policy. You just asked permission to walk by if someone was in there, which happened frequently for me because I had to walk by it to get to my bedroom.
The back bathroom had the shower and it had a functioning door and it locked, but if it was ever shut it meant someone was in there and you weren't supposed to go in.
I think my perception of bathrooms and doors is pretty skewed. H still showers with the bathroom door locked and it's just the two of us! I shower with the door open
I think it's odd and I think it warrants a discussion between your H and their mom about the kids' right to privacy.
I'd be careful about labeling the guy a predator though, since there's no evidence that he ever did anything inappropriate and it's really just based on your impression of him and what COULD happen. That sort of accusation could be damaging to your stepkids and their relationships with both families.
I have a SD and SS that are almost the exact same ages as yours. I do think that is weird. But, here is the problem that I have because their mom does not have a boyfriend (I think she just got dumped) and she cannot have anyone live with her until she is engaged. Anway, she lets SS, whom is 7 and SD, whom is 12 take baths together. GROSS! I am absolutly against this, at their age, I am just disgusted by it. They take showers at our house (by themselves) and I have to get onto (which it's getting better now) about them shutting the doors when they change, shower, and use the bathroom. A 7 year old boy (who has gotten in trouble about lifting up a girls skirt before when he was younger.. not now) DOES NOT need to see his sister, 12 years old, naked and most defanitly not bathing together, for more than just the fact about being naked infront of each other, but for the fact she is going through puberty and girl stuff and he is a stinky boy who plays out side and gets completely sweaty and dirty.
But, anyway, I would have your husband talk to their mom about it for sure. Or, if you and her get along, I would talk to her about it.
Strickly put predator for people to actually read it, FYI! Forgot to put that.
I would never ever bring up "predator" to the SK, DH, or BM. Just I'm concerned and they need privacy, etc.