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Christmas w/ IL's, a bit of a poll
Last year we ran off to Hawaii for Christmas (:D) and didn't have to consider who to spend what day with; IL's or my side of the family. We probably have spent more time with my side than DH's and I know we need to remedy this. My MIL is already quite jealous (IMO) that we spend wayyyy more time with my parents :P Both sets of parents live a ferry ride away and with LO here I don't want to travel (although going to my parents is a lot easier as they have a ton of room and a little suite above their garage. Whereas DH's parents have a small, cozy house with a small guest bedroom). DH's parents usually come over here and spend Christmas dinner with MIL's cousin. This cousin invites the whole family over to her place every year and we've gone once or twice I think? My family also does a big dinner at either my Aunt's or Grandma's place. We did host Christmas dinner for what was supposed to be 25 people one year but we had a snow storm and only a few of my side showed and none of DH's... yeah, so... this year I'm of course thinking about what we'll do. How did you guys decide this or is it even an issue? Do you do one Christmas with your family and one with IL's? Another tradition of ours is to have a big Christmas morning breakfast and open gifts (would be at our place, my brother's isn't big enough). So yeah, what do you guys do? 
Oh and we have had all families together which is OK but with MIL being the way she is she just ends up getting on my nerves.
Re: Christmas w/ IL's, a bit of a poll
My sister is my family and have always spent the holidays with her. Last year being our first year married we alternated. Spent Christmas Eve with my sister and Christmas Day with the IL's and New Years eve we spent it at my sisters and then ended at the IL's. Thanksgiving we were on our own and I think we stoped by the IL's in the evening. This year I think New years will be at our house and christmas will probably work out the same as last.
I could totally get used to that! My parents are always at our cabin for Thanksgiving so we often spend it with the IL's.
I think I'm the same way, it's so hard being away from my family for Christmas and our traditions. But I know now it should be 50/50.
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
We try and alternate but it hasn't always worked. Last Christmas was supposed to be with IL's but with my visa application pending, I was warned that I could be turned away at customs, so we decided to stay in Vancouver. We're spending it with the IL's this year, but the SIL and HH are spending it with HH's fam in a different state.
Next year was supposed to be the one Christmas where DH, I, SIL, and HH spend it with the IL's but my sister will have had her first baby (hurray!) by then, and I really think I'm going to want to spend it with my new niece or nephew. It's still up in the air but I don't get to see my sister very often and once she has the baby, I don't think she's going to want to travel much.
Luckily, both of our parents live pretty closeby. My parents live about 45 minutes away and MH's are about 10 min away.
For some reason, my family always celebrated Christmas on the Eve rather than the actual day. Figured we were always too anxious to wait and open gifts
And MH's family has always celebrated on Christmas Day and not on Eve. So, it kinda works out for us.
Although, I must say, it would be nice to have a quiet holiday and just alternate with one family per year. But I can see how it can get tough. A trip to Hawaii sounds awesome. You can take little J on his first trip instead?
We live 3,000 miles away, which surprisingly makes things easier. We fly west 3 times a year, once to visit my mom and sister, again to visit my dad and stepfamily, and a third time to visit the ILs.
ILs always get Christmas because it's MIL's favorite holiday and J is her only child. She likes to have us there and we enjoy spending the holiday with them, so it works out pretty well. Last year we were thinking about spending it with my family instead, but my dad likes us to visit in the summer and I usually try to see Mom around her birthday in the spring.
If/when we move within driving distance of our families, that's when the real fun will start. Yikes. We'll probably do Thanksgiving with one family, Christmas with another, second-day Christmas with the third, and just rotate who gets which.
in theory, we were supposed to rotate thanksgiving and xmas between his family and mine. in reality, we did thanksgiving with my family and xmas with his the first year, then last year, we each went home for thanksgiving separately (long story
) and spent xmas alone (b/c we didn't want to split up again, and this was the easiest way to avoid any "unfairness").
this year, b/c of the baby, our moms are coming to us for thanksigiving and it looks like we'll spend xmas alone at home.
the tricky thing is that my family is really big on both holidays, and everyone converges in dallas, where my grandparents are - my grandfather can no longer travel, and his birthday is around thanksgiving - he's in his 90's. so it's always a big deal to do family thanksgiving together. in the future, (for as long as my grandfather is around, i suppose), we'll probably do thanksgiving with my family and xmas with his - mostly b/c being there for my grandfather's bday takes precedence over being home with my family for xmas. i do miss xmas with my family though