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Feeling a bit nervous
So, my family is all about the Baby Factories, whereas my H's family is, well, let's just say I am the youngest member of the family. Obviously, the question of "Are you pregnant yet!?!" comes up A LOT. We've let the families know that I have a bit of a small health concern with getting pregnant.
We went to my doctor the other day & now it's not so small of a concern, it appears. She's very concerned & wants to do some surgery. I've never gone under & so I'm feeling very nervous about it. I haven't signed the papers yet to go through with it because I'm so apprehensive.
I guess I'm just wanting to know if anybody else out there has had some type of similar situation with the family pressure & the personal anxiety with trouble in the baby department & how you handled it? *tia*
Re: Feeling a bit nervous
My mother can be extremely persistent when trying to get in on the latest news. And she honestly believes that she has a right to know everything going on with me, DH and our reproductive status.
So I calmly told my mother that I would let her know if I were pregnant at the 3-month mark and beyond that the topic was not up for discussion. She whined; I reinforced my simply and clear message. She brought up every excuse and reason she cold muster as to why I needed to confide in her. We washed and repeated numerous times. Until she got the message and stopped bringing it up.
Fact is that you get to decide how much information is divulged. And I'm going to assume that your family is intelligent. If you graciously let them know that you do not wish to discuss this topic outside of your marriage, eventually they will draw their own conclusions which they will keep to themselves and leave you alone.
For the time being, you can politely deflect questions with, "We'll let you know if and when we are expecting."
This, 100%. Although I do not have pg concerns, DH and I have waited for a variety of reasons. It was very hard to constantly get the "are you pg yet?" Or when we had other exciting things happen, people assumed that we were going to announce we were pg. Once we made it known that we werent' going to talk about it, most of the above stopped.
Also, there is a board on here called Getting Pregnant. It is a very supportive board with lots of helpful posters. Many of those ladies have been through a lot. Maybe someone over there is experiencing the same medical concerns that you have.
Best of luck to you.
I'm not a parent and don't plan on being one (told my MIL when we got engaged that she shouldn't expect to see grandkids from me!), but this answer applies to all unwanted questions: "When we have something to tell you, we will..." and leave it at that. Don't go with the thinking that you "owe" someone something - information, or whatever. You don't. It's your marriage, your body, your health and nobody else's business. It's totally okay to keep something like this private.
As to surgery, I went to have some fibroids removed a few months ago, via a hysteroscopy, and it was a piece of cake. [TMI warning: I'd been having very heavy, very painful periods for years and was only recently diagnosed with fibroids, and my doc told me that if I wanted to conceive, it would be a lot easier now. Not sure if this is your surgery, but if it is, it's really simple and nothing at all to be scared of.]
Good luck!