Oklahoma Nesties
IPmama
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I have to get Rid of my Pets-STAT!
Well, I adopted an amazing puppy and kitten two months ago, unfortunately I can't keep them. My SS has been diagnosed with allergy-induced asthma, then found out he is allergic to pretty much all animals. So my pets are flaring up his asthma.
I know it is a long stretch, but I would like to find them amazing homes, not just dump them off at a foster home or the pound and hope everything goes well.
If anyone has any ideas or know people looking for pets please let me know! The puppy is about 5-6months old Maltese/chihuahua (looks like a jack russel terrier) and the kitten is 5 months old who is black with white tummy/paws/face. They can be kept together or separate.
Re: I have to get Rid of my Pets-STAT!
You make it sound like animals are just disposable items... I would probably not word it as "getting rid of your pets STAT" if you want any sympathy for your situation.
Don't dump them off at the city animal shelter, and please do NOT post anything on Craigslist because people are super shady on there. You really need to spend the time making sure your animals go to proper homes to people who will appreciate them and give them good lives--they don't deserve to be dumped at a city animal shelter for this. That's not fair to these animals. It sucks your SS is allergic to them, and while that's certainly not his fault (or yours), nor is it the fault of your dog and cat.
my bookshelf!
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Seriously. I had the exact same reaction to this.
I highly doubt she meant "dump" them in literal terms.
GL finding appropriate homes for them, my niece has severe allergies and my sister was able to locate a neighbor interested in adopting their dog.
Agreed.
It seems to me like you are trying to do the right thing. I don't know of anyone looking for pets right now, but I hope you are able to find them great homes. Good luck!
WOW!!! How extremely rude of you! I needed a short Subject headline to get people's attention, a little hard to explain the dire situation. More interesting subject titles makes people click on your post.
I am actually struggling with letting them go. I have cried, I don't know how many times, because I feel like I am abandoning them, but I have to do what is best for my family. This really is a struggle because to me, pets are innocent and can't defend for themselves, so therefore humans should do more to protect them. I am a huge STRONG believer in adoption and do what I can with pet charities.
When I said I don't want to just dump them at the animal shelter...somehow you people took it as I am just going to dump them somewhere...let's read this clearly! I REFUSE to dump them anywhere!
I feel like it is dumping them off if I took them to the pound. Which is why I wont do it. I want to find them homes, I want to make sure I find someone who will love these pets as much as I do, if not more. I refuse to post on craigslist because I know of the shadiness of people.
I hope you learn to read better and not assume that I am just this animal hater. I have had to fight to keep them as long as I have with SS trying to stay as healthy as possible. But in reality there is nothing I can do, no matter what meds, air purifier, steam cleaning I have constantly done to make it all work.
I'm glad to know at least a few of you find this post with sincerity and understand how the post actual was meant to be read.
Ha! You think Ginger is rude... I think her comment was written with extreme tact! Guess what... Your excuse is LAME! In reality there is something you can do, there are medications. there are wipes that you can use (a lot like baby wipes) to get rid of dander and you could spend a little more time cleaning your home. You could also keep them out of SS room so that he has a pet dander free zone. Let me just say this - If my daughter is born with (or develops) allergies to my dogs I will do EVERYTHING in my power to keep our family in one piece because that is what you should do when you accept responsiblilty for a helpless animal.
Your subject line would have gained plenty of consideration had it been a bit more tactful, there was no reason to phrase it like you did... Just shows what a "great" pet parent you are. Do the rescue world a favor and never buy, adopt, or rescue another animal. It is super hard to place animals who have been passed around, they are not disposable. You have pissed me off more than you know by writing this post.... I am very involved in rescue and see people like you all the time, it breaks my heart to see pets get adopted and then dumped like this. And for the record... dumping does not always mean you take a drive out to the country and toss them out of the car. You ARE dumping them when to pull up to a shelter or rescue group and force someone else to take responsibility.
Because your mind is obviously made up let me say this.... www.Petfinder.com has a ton of rescues listed. You should contact every one that seems remotely appropriate and ask them if there is anyway they can accept these animals. Be aware that they will need to be UTD on shots and should be spayed/nuetered. If they are not you need to get that done so that they don't contribute to the pet overpopulation any more.
Wow, IMHO, this was way harsh and unnecessary. I'm not sure what the point of it was, to make her feel like crap? When she said she's not going to take them to the pound and she's trying to find them a good home.
IPmama - I hope you find a good home for the pets, and I'm glad you are looking for a loving home and not just taking them to the animal shelter. To me, that shows that you do care for them. Hopefully it won't be too difficult to find a home for them since they are so young and most people want young puppies/kittens. Good luck!
Kaylee & Cole 06.14.08
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3/25/12 Earlywine Dash
I completely agree with you and Ginger and I don't think either of your responses are rude. The minute I read the subject line my blood started to boil.
I don't have kids yet but my two dogs are my kids at this point in my life and I can't ever imagine my life without them. Whenever we do finally have kids I will make sure that nothing ever happens to my dogs. I will try everything in the world to try to fix the problem instead of re-homing them.
First, my post was not intended to be rude. It was just simple fact: Regardless of how much you're crying over your animals, the wording of your subject is going to get you little sympathy. I think this thread has proved that. There are a lot of animal lovers on this board, and when I see such a cavalier subject line it makes me think you DON'T care, even if in fact you may care quite a bit. I don't know you, so yes. I make assumptions. BoyMom said it well: A subject line such as, "Need to find loving homes for my pets" would have been a lot better, and everyone still would have read it.
Second, I never said you were an animal hater. If you were an animal hater, you never would have gotten pets in the first place.
Unfortunately, Bri is right. It is extremely hard to place animals who are abandoned to shelters, and I know you will have a very hard time finding shelters that will take those animals in the first place because of severe overcrowding. Shelters will often take dogs and cats whose lives are in danger first and foremost, and on the totem pole of what animals they take, those currently in homes will come last.
So if I were in your shoes, I would try everything possible to clean the house to be able to keep my pets. Yes, I understand that sometimes it just can't happen and you have to give them up because the person in question's allergies are too bad. But if you can't find homes STAT for these animals, you need to consider keeping them around as long as necessary so that they DO find homes with people who will love them even more.
my bookshelf!
Bloggy
So... are some of you all blaming her for the allergies of her kid? I sincerely hope not because THIS particular subject is a touchy one not just for animal lovers but for me personally too. If the kid is sick then so be it, she said she is attempting to find them a home, why hassle her for attempting her hands at treatments when she already stated she has exhausted so many avenues? What is the point of making a bad situation for her even worse?The child comes first and if you think differently let you.
Her heading was worded the way she wanted, so what? It's not like she is dumping the dogs and to be honest, to assume so was more than a bit much.
Did I EVER say I was blaming her for her kid's allergies? Find me saying that. In fact, I think I said in my first post that I understood it wasn't his fault or hers. But nor was it the animal's fault.
And yes, her heading was worded the way she wanted. And that way it was worded was poorly. I pointed that out to her, and like I said: The heading made it hard to induce sympathy. Do I know this person? No. I've never met her in my life. And just in case she wasn't educated, I told her in my first post to not post them on Craigslist or dump them at the city shelter. Why? Better safe than sorry! If she knew that prior to my posting it, how was I supposed to know?
I just want to make sure no one treats animals like they're disposable. I understand allergies can suck, especially for a child. I have grown up with allergies and severe asthma. But I love dogs too much to go without them, so I live with it and take two pills daily, along with two other asthma drugs to combat it. I get it that sometimes a pet needs to be rehomed, but again: I DON'T KNOW THIS PERSON. And also again, in case she wasn't educated, I wanted to make sure she was. If that's rude, I don't care as long as I've done my bit to make sure she knows what to do to ensure her animals have the best life possible.
my bookshelf!
Bloggy
Did I directly address you and state that you said she was blaming kid? Reread my address which clearly states, "So... are some of you all blaming her for the allergies of her kid?" That is a question, certainly not an assertion.
Secondly, I don't think her post was to drum up "sympathy" who are we to give it to her OR feel that we are the key holders to the sympathy club? My point is that this is obviously difficult for her as both a parent of an actual human child AND pet mom. Offer advice, that's fine but don't bite her head off because she is obviously torn by all of this.
FWIW, I've never seen a theory of education that shows that the best way to help someone develop greater empathy or learn new techniques for doing things a better way is to "yell" at them, tell them how bad of a job they're doing, use sarcasm, demonstrate moral superiority, or any similar negative reinforcement. No matter how good your message is, people just shut down. So, let's consider our goal here---do we want to help this lady's pets (and her in turn) or do we want to make her feel badly about a situation that already sucks?
OP-From your post you've obviously tried a lot of things. Best of luck to you in finding good homes for your pets. If you haven't already, I'd urge you to check with your son's pedi. to see if there's another alternative first. In case you HAVEN'T tried some of these options, here are a few more:
http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/allergies_pets.html
http://www.acaai.org/patients/resources/allergies/Pages/pet-allergy.aspx
http://www.aafa.org/display.cfm?id=8&sub=16&cont=63
My dog IS family to me, so I know how heartbreaking this must be. Hopefully you're able to find a way to best meet the needs of all three of your little ones.
By the way, in interest of self disclosure, this comes in the light of being "yelled" at on the Pets board several years ago for asking, "My vet said to feed my dog Science Diet. Is that what you guys use?"
I got several responses that said things like "ZOMG! You're abusing your dog feeding him that! Someone should call the ASPCA on you! I hope your happy with yourself for setting your dog up for a sh!tty life!" Their hearts were in the right place (and they were absolutely right!), but their deliveries were such a huge turn off that it was easy to dismiss the message.
Other people, though, send me messages that said things like, "Here are some of the things you should know about dog nutrition. Corn is non-digestable..." or "You should check out this dog food analysis website. We use Blue Buffalo because...." I bought a bag of Innova the next day.
I totally get what you are saying, and I think you are absolutely right, which is nothing new.
In ginger's original message, I didn't get the "yelling" vibe - I read it more as she was telling her that OP should be careful in wording things, and then presenting better options. I think this is another issue of tone that's being ascribed to text. Bear in mind, though - that original message is the only one I'm referring to here, not subsequent follow-up messages.
Ya know, I do see your point but I still won't change my reply to her. After I "yelled at her" I did give her some advice (I have nothing to offer about cats, I have never dealt with a cat rescue) but I told her where to look. I am not going to defend my statement any further. OP had a certain tone in her delivery which made me lose any patience.
And FWIW, I do not blame the OP, the child, OR the pets for the allergies and asthma. I just think there are always other things to try before giving up so easily.
I am more than done with this thread.
How can this crap be taken as anything but attacking the OP? It's not meant to help anyone, it's meant to shame them, even if you follow it up with an actual answer. Also, you can choose to take meds every day because YOU love and want the animals, but it's an entirely different thing to make that decision for a child and sign them up for a lifetime of health issues because you want a pet.
To the OP: I would also recommend checking with your veterinarian. I know that a lot of them often foster animals in-house until a home is found.
I was going to ignore this mess, but I decided to throw in my 2 cents.
I love my dog. Love her to death. If having her around was causing my son to be sick I would research ways to keep her around all the while keeping him healthy. I would talk to my vet, google like crazy and talk to other pet owners with similar issues to find a way to keep him from reacting to her dander. If I exhausted all those options and nothing worked, I would have to find another home for her. I love her, but obviously my son's well being comes before my dog. I think other people here have given you good suggestions to try and find a fix that will work before you have to find new homes for your pets.
And, FWIW, this board is slow enough that I think most people will read your post regardless of what the title is. It's not going to be off the main page in a day or two like some of the popular national boards.
I could not agree more. A lot of allergy medications can have behavoral/psychological side effects. I would not risk that for my child in order to keep a pet in my home. The well being of my child would absolutely come first.
Wow, this got out of hand.
If you have truly exhausted all of the medicinal avenues you are comfortable with, and you feel that re-homing your pets is the only way, I would contact the shelter from where you originally adopted (I didn't re-read the OP today but it seemed like it wasn't all that long ago) and see if they can take them back. They might understand, given the extenuating circumstances.
You aren't moving into a pet-free home, and you aren't griping about space being an issue, and you certainly aren't pulling the, "I don't feel my child is safe around my pets" excuse I've heard so many times. You are talking about the health and welfare of your child. If it were a peanut allergy, or shellfish, I doubt you'd make your child sick and miserable (and possibly dead) by forcing those things on the child.
I'm a huge animal rights person, and I believe, the vast majority of the time, that you should do the very best you can to provide a home for your pets as you agreed to when adopting. However, there are always exceptions to the rule. I know my sister has had to deal with some things with her pets in the past couple of years; issues that weren't the pet's fault or hers, but she made, ultimately, the best decision she could for the pets. Sad, yes. Necessary, yes.
As for all the other drama, I will say that I think some of it was hurtful, tactless, and completely out of bounds. If she wanted a new one ripped for her, she would have posted this on the Pets board.
And so, I offer the ultimate trio: Unicorn, rainbow, and puppy.