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the roommate debate
So to make a long story short,, I have been talking to DH about getting a roommate. We own a pretty decent sized house with MORE than enough room for us. I think we should get a roommate until we decide to have kids or start trying to help us financially. It would help us with paying the mortgage, we could use the extra money to travel more, pay off my car, contribute to our IRA's etc you get what I mean?
But he doesnt want to have a roommate because of past roommate issues and that he believes that we are doing just fine.
What is your opinion? Yes or No to the roommate idea?
We have plenty of space (i.e. 4 bedroom house, 3 story's, 3 cg, 3 bathrooms, laundry room, gym in the basement, fenced in yard etc) and it would be nice to have another person help with cleaning etc : )
Re: the roommate debate
I personally say "no way Jose". I cannot imagine another person living at our house. I like my space, I like our routines, and I'm usually really glad when people leave after a weekend at our house even if it's someone I really like.
I would do everything I could to cut out other expenses before resorting to a roommate.
DITO! Life would have to be really hellish before I'd take all the comforts and privacy of having my own home and invite someone else to live with me. Even a relative living with me sounds stressful and unfun.
This exactly! I think it would just add stress that is un-needed, especially if your hubby is against it already!
My Bio
Married Bio
It doesn't matter how big my house is and how much space I have, I would only get a roommate if it was an absolute last resort and something terrible would happen if I didn't have the extra income (like the house would go into foreclosure or something). There's no way I would get a roommate just to have extra money to travel or whatever. It's not worth it to me. At. All.
Then again, I have not had a roommate in the last 12 years, other than my husband. :-) Once I finished college, I was done with roommates. It's just not for me.
Mr. Sammy Dog
I would only be open to doing this if we were really in a bad financial position, or temporarily helping out friends who were in a bad spot. We've twice let friends live with us, one for 2 months, and one for 6 months. They didn't pay rent, but they did lots of house projects/cooking, etc. for us while they stayed with us. They were just in between things in life, and needed a temporary place to crash until they got things together and found a new place to live, etc. We actually had a lot of fun with them while they were staying with us, but nothing beats having your house to yourself!
And... that's a very different situation than taking on a random roomate for the purposes of earning money. I know some people do it, but... it is not appealing to me. I just value my own space too much.
Since your husband has already expressed his discomfort with the idea, it's kind of a moot point.
And yeah, like the others said: no way would I do this. I'd get a second job first. And a third.
Judging
I can see everyone's points, I agree yet I was just trying to think of something that wouldn't take away from our time together that would still help..
Thanks for your thoughts!
we actually have a roommate. it was a little hairy in the beginning but things are better now.
i would say first off, don't do it unless you absolutely have to or really want to. (and if your husband doesn't want to, i wouldn't.)
that said, if you're going to, have VERY VERY clear expectations/house "rules" from the outset and try to give the person as separate of a living space as possible.
where would you find this person? i wouldn't want a complete stranger in my house so craigslist would heeb me out.
our roommate is a friend of ours so it's never awkward to have him in our common living spaces. also, he's more or less on the opposite schedule of us so we rarely see him. i think that's nice for everyone. he gets the house to himself in the mornings, early afternoons and then we come home and he's gone until after 10p.
This exactly, well said Kiz
Nicole and Sam 10/3/09
We also have a roommate who is DH's sister, while I love her she really gets to me and I miss our relationship we had when she was not living with us. I agree with Strength with the rules! My SIL just does not get things like doing dishes every night (she does dishes maybe once a week, if I dont end up doing her dishes first) or have full loads of laundry (she actually wears a outfit and washes it..YES one pair of jeans and one/two shirts to her equals a full load!!! --she doesnt pay extra for bills, wish we could go back and have her cover a third of the bills)
GUR she bugs me. So I would say NO roommate, unless they can have their very own space for everything. But even then you have to trust them. Renters just do not understand or respect your house like you do. If they spill something they have ass pick it up, if at all. It get where you are coming from with wanting a renter, it seems great up front, but hardly ever works out how you envisioned it.
My personal opinion is that no married couple should ever have a roommate and that taking one in is a recipe for disaster. If I was in absolute financial dire straits and taking in someone was perhaps the only way to keep my house, I may consider it.
ETA: Outside of when it's probably financially necessary, like when you're in school, I don't think anyone should have a roommate (and I've never had problems with any past roommates, either).
Like pp's I would only do it if we had financial problems and it would have to be VERY BAD (other things like second/third job would have to be tired first). And unless you get a OCD person - how much do you think they would help you clean? Would it be part of the rental agreement, and would one think that was normal? I would expect them to clean up after themselves but not take on cleaning community areas.
We did have DH's little sister staying with us for awhile but that was like having a little sister in the house, not a roommate. I didn't mind that and she lived there like it was her house and did some of the cleaning, just like she did at home with their parents.
Can you hire a cleaning lady if you are overwhelmed with cleaning? Can you close off rooms and not use them so they don't get dirty and you don't have to clean them as often if you have so much extra space? IMO the trips that you want to take would be more rewarding to have "time off" if you have to work hard the rest of the time.
I am a little behind on this -
1. If H is already saying no. then it is a NO.
BUT--- My H and I have been Married for 3 years, we have been in our home for almost 5 years and we have only NOT had a roommate for about 6 months...
We have had up to 3 other people living with us, to currently just one. We have had family, friends and even a Craigslist stranger (flame away)
We always have a meeting before move-in to discuss rules, plans, and priorities. We ALWAYS have a contract that we all sign. The contract is also edited to match each persons needs/issues. we have been very fortunate with our roommate situations and never had any real issues.
I think if everyone acts like adults it is not that big of a deal.
and for the record--- we are only doing roommates until we are KU/ have a child- and we are doing it pretty much just for the money- we have paid off both cars, and we are working on elminating credit card debt.
my house is not nearly as big as yours, but it works out just fine
-- ok off my soap box- sorry SO long-- if you made it this far.. have a cookie:
I wouldn't. In theory another person would help with cleaning, but my actual experience is a lot of people don't pull their own weight. You'd likely just end up cleaning up what you were doing plus part of your roommate's mess.