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"going in" on a gift
My MIL and SIL are notorious for wanting to all go in on a gift for baby showers, bridal showers, father's day, etc. That way we can give a bigger gift but not spend as much money. Usually one of them says "Hey we're getting FIL a new lawn mower, just give me $100.00." I have never been thrilled about it, because I personally love picking out a gift for someone on my own, and having it just be from me, not from a group.
And now my MIL tells me that she has something picked out for my DH, but it's $200.00 and she wants me to split the price of it for his birthday! It is something he would like, but to me that's not the point. I would like to get my husband a gift from me, not from me and his mom.
Am I overreacting about this? How can I tell her "No, not this time" without hurting her feelings? Also, I feel like if I don't chip in, she won't buy the gift, so then I'm hurting my DH as well?? FRUSTRATING!
Re: "going in" on a gift
well, if you want your H to have this girft - chip in.
if you want to get him something else, just say to MIL, 'no thanks, i already got him something'
it's not that big of a deal.
This.
You're overreacting in the sense that you're giving his mom too much power over how you feel and act in the situation.
If you want to go in on that particular gift with her, go ahead, but if you don't, then simply tell her that you already have something picked out for him. Done! She may decide to ask your SIL to go in on it with her, buy it herself, or neither, but you don't need to let this be so frustrating to you.
And start doign this w/ other events too. If you nevery say "no" they aren't going to know you don't always want to do this.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
it's very easy to say 'sorry i have something else special in mind so i can't go in on the gift with you this time-but thanks for thinking of me'. if she asks you what theother gift is you can tell her that it's a surprise that you're workign on. you don't have to give her any info.
i too hate splitting and have had to do this with ils.
This.
It really is that simple she will prob get someone else to go in on the gift with her anyways. Don't give her this much control over how you feel, just say I can't I already have something for him and say but he would like that if you want to split it with someone else.
I'm just like you I like giving ppl gifts from me and H or just myself not going in on them. My Hs family sometimes goes in on gifts for their folks but thats it.
An American Girl's Travels