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XP: What's a nice way to handle this?

My grandmother gave me her cook book of the family's German recipes. It's HUGE. There are tons of recipes. She wanted me to have it because I'm the oldest grandchild and the only married one.

I have a cousin that wants the recipes...that's fine and dandy, but when I asked her which ones she wanted, she said she wants them all. There is no way I could make a copy of every single recipe. It would be pricey (I don't have a copy machine) and it would take an unbelievable amount of time. The book is just huge. 

I don't feel okay with sending her the book so she can make copies, because I'm not 100% sure I would ever get the book back. 

Am I being a jerk to not copy each recipe for her? Or am I within my rights to ask for just the recipes she really wants? What's a nice way to tell her why I don't want to send her the book to make copies?

BTW, I'm in Michigan and she's in Kansas, so I can't just have her over to pick out the recipes.

Kryssie Speaks

Last updated 4/06/11

image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.

Re: XP: What's a nice way to handle this?

  • can you get a quote from a kinko's (photocopy shop) or Staples to see how much they would charge to copy it? Ask her is she is willing to pay the quote and maybe you can pay 1/2 of her shipping to get it there?

    i agree with you - that time is money - but if the recipes mean that much to her, then she will pay for the copies. 

  • imagedani7248:

    can you get a quote from a kinko's (photocopy shop) or Staples to see how much they would charge to copy it? Ask her is she is willing to pay the quote and maybe you can pay 1/2 of her shipping to get it there?

    i agree with you - that time is money - but if the recipes mean that much to her, then she will pay for the copies. 

    Ditto this. If it's that huge, how can she even know what recipes rae in there? I'm sure she has some she has i nmind, but she probably wants to know what else is in there that she never knew about. 

    I get that it's a pain, but I think this is something that should be shared.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • imagedani7248:

    can you get a quote from a kinko's (photocopy shop) or Staples to see how much they would charge to copy it? Ask her is she is willing to pay the quote and maybe you can pay 1/2 of her shipping to get it there?

    i agree with you - that time is money - but if the recipes mean that much to her, then she will pay for the copies. 

    I can ask her about that...I doubt she will be able to, as I know she doesn't have any money, but maybe she could figure it out.

    She mentioned too that this could be my wedding gift to her...which is a good idea, but I'll ask if she's willing to pay for the quote. If she says yes, then I guess I just have to suck it up and plan to be there for a while.

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • Are there other family members that might want it too?  Why not find this out and if so, make multiple copies.  That coudl end up being "cheaper" than bit by bit people hearing you have it, she has a copy, and they want a copy too.

    I just see this as a great heirloom to share.  And as she said this coudl be a wedding gift, I guess I see the issue even less. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Perhaps scan them & copy them to a usb & then send that to her? That way it's saved electronically & she can print them if she wants or do whatever. The only thing is, it will take you some time to go through & copy them & whatnot, but in that case, I'd suggest taking bit of time eahc day or on a day off or however you want to work out your time & copying them to the drive. That way, you're not overwhelmed with all of it & she'll still get what she wants, she'll just have to be patient about it.
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  • imageEastCoastBride:

    Are there other family members that might want it too?  Why not find this out and if so, make multiple copies.  That coudl end up being "cheaper" than bit by bit people hearing you have it, she has a copy, and they want a copy too.

    I just see this as a great heirloom to share.  And as she said this coudl be a wedding gift, I guess I see the issue even less. 

    Yeah, I would love to spend the time one day to do it nice for everyone. I don't really have the money for it right now, but I don't see any other way around this. I don't want to keep the recipes from her, it's just an undertaking I wasn't planning to do right now for several reasons.

    Thanks for the advice.

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • imageNovember3Love:
    Perhaps scan them & copy them to a usb & then send that to her? That way it's saved electronically & she can print them if she wants or do whatever. The only thing is, it will take you some time to go through & copy them & whatnot, but in that case, I'd suggest taking bit of time eahc day or on a day off or however you want to work out your time & copying them to the drive. That way, you're not overwhelmed with all of it & she'll still get what she wants, she'll just have to be patient about it.

    If I had a scanner that's exactly what I would do, but I'll have to use the copy place that's 30 minutes away. I think the answer is that I just have to figure out how to schedule the time to sit at a damn copy machine for an hour or two and just get it done.

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • imageNovember3Love:
    Perhaps scan them & copy them to a usb & then send that to her? That way it's saved electronically & she can print them if she wants or do whatever. The only thing is, it will take you some time to go through & copy them & whatnot, but in that case, I'd suggest taking bit of time eahc day or on a day off or however you want to work out your time & copying them to the drive. That way, you're not overwhelmed with all of it & she'll still get what she wants, she'll just have to be patient about it.

     

    This would take an enormous amount of time, but this is probably the route I would go.  My family's pretty tech savvy, and would benefit from this. 

    By the way... I know this isn't want you want to hear, but I want a copy, too! Stick out tongue

  • imageamaretto*sour:

    imageNovember3Love:
    Perhaps scan them & copy them to a usb & then send that to her? That way it's saved electronically & she can print them if she wants or do whatever. The only thing is, it will take you some time to go through & copy them & whatnot, but in that case, I'd suggest taking bit of time eahc day or on a day off or however you want to work out your time & copying them to the drive. That way, you're not overwhelmed with all of it & she'll still get what she wants, she'll just have to be patient about it.

    If I had a scanner that's exactly what I would do, but I'll have to use the copy place that's 30 minutes away. I think the answer is that I just have to figure out how to schedule the time to sit at a damn copy machine for an hour or two and just get it done.

    Or you can just drop it off and have them make the copies for you. Pick it up later.

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  • imageKaren2905:

    imageNovember3Love:
    Perhaps scan them & copy them to a usb & then send that to her? That way it's saved electronically & she can print them if she wants or do whatever. The only thing is, it will take you some time to go through & copy them & whatnot, but in that case, I'd suggest taking bit of time eahc day or on a day off or however you want to work out your time & copying them to the drive. That way, you're not overwhelmed with all of it & she'll still get what she wants, she'll just have to be patient about it.

     

    This would take an enormous amount of time, but this is probably the route I would go.  My family's pretty tech savvy, and would benefit from this. 

    By the way... I know this isn't want you want to hear, but I want a copy, too! Stick out tongue

    LOL. Once I get the initial copying done, it won't be a problem. It's just spending all the time actually copying them. It's a cookbook with about 1,000 pages, so it's a LOT of copying, and I'm sure it won't be cheap.

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • imagesusiederkins:
    imageamaretto*sour:

    imageNovember3Love:
    Perhaps scan them & copy them to a usb & then send that to her? That way it's saved electronically & she can print them if she wants or do whatever. The only thing is, it will take you some time to go through & copy them & whatnot, but in that case, I'd suggest taking bit of time eahc day or on a day off or however you want to work out your time & copying them to the drive. That way, you're not overwhelmed with all of it & she'll still get what she wants, she'll just have to be patient about it.

    If I had a scanner that's exactly what I would do, but I'll have to use the copy place that's 30 minutes away. I think the answer is that I just have to figure out how to schedule the time to sit at a damn copy machine for an hour or two and just get it done.

    Or you can just drop it off and have them make the copies for you. Pick it up later.

    Are they pretty careful? It's an old cookbook, and I'm terrified of something happening to it. 

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • imageamaretto*sour:

    She mentioned too that this could be my wedding gift to her...which is a good idea, but I'll ask if she's willing to pay for the quote. If she says yes, then I guess I just have to suck it up and plan to be there for a while.

    A close family friend (who is an AMAZING cook) put together a binder (just a plastic 3 ring) made a nice page for the front cover, made inserts for the different sections & printed recipes on nice pages.  The best part was she also put a letter to me in the front & included stories about where each recipe had come from (she's lived all over the world, some were old family recipes, etc).  It was such a great gift & I don't think it cost her much. 

    Do you know any SAHM's who can type/format & interested in making a little extra $$?  Ask them to type up the recipes for you (even if it was 2 to a page, without stories about their origins) for a reasonable fee. Leave them with a USB to save them on, buy some inexpensive but nice-looking stationary paper & take it to kinko's to print them out. 

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  • If the main problem is that copying every single recipe at once would be time-consuming/expensive ...

     

    Copy maybe 20-50 at a time, and give them to her as gifts on appropriate occasions (Christmas, her birthday, her wedding, Easter/Passover).

    image
  • imageTheCrazy8:
    imageamaretto*sour:

    She mentioned too that this could be my wedding gift to her...which is a good idea, but I'll ask if she's willing to pay for the quote. If she says yes, then I guess I just have to suck it up and plan to be there for a while.

    A close family friend (who is an AMAZING cook) put together a binder (just a plastic 3 ring) made a nice page for the front cover, made inserts for the different sections & printed recipes on nice pages.  The best part was she also put a letter to me in the front & included stories about where each recipe had come from (she's lived all over the world, some were old family recipes, etc).  It was such a great gift & I don't think it cost her much. 

    Do you know any SAHM's who can type/format & interested in making a little extra $$?  Ask them to type up the recipes for you (even if it was 2 to a page, without stories about their origins) for a reasonable fee. Leave them with a USB to save them on, buy some inexpensive but nice-looking stationary paper & take it to kinko's to print them out. 

    Ooooh, my MIL would maybe be willing to do that...she's retired and likes to keep busy through the day. Good idea!

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • Sigh. I hate these kinds of situations.

    She wants what you have; but cannot afford to copy it, and wants you to copy it; and she's not trustworthy enough to let her borrow it to copy it in any event. SIGH.

    I like the idea of copying 50 pages or so at a time and giving them to her bit by bit; or going to the copy shop and having them copy it and put it on a disc for you to give to her.

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  • And you say, with a rueful smile, "Oh, Sally, I am so sorry; but I've had to make a strict policy not to lend it out to anyone. If I lent it to you, everyone would want to borrow it, and not everyone is as careful with things as you are. Sorry!!" And keep saying it.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • I agree with PPs, only I would pay or have her pay to have the copy place make a scanned electronic copy of this cookbook. You know gotta know there will be more family members that will want this book once they start their own families. Having an electronic copy to send to whoever would be the easiest thing to do and they can make their own copies.
  • I would also make a copy of the copy in case anyone else asks.  Then just copy the copy and keep the copy. (I hope that made sense)
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  • In the end, it's in your best interest to have a second copy or (better) an electronic copy of the book made. Unless you plan to store it in a vault and only touch it with special white gloves, it isn't going to last forever.

    Take it to the copy place and have them scan it into an electronic file. It will be fine. They do this all the time. You can pick it up in a couple weeks.

    That way any family member who wants the recipes can have them.

    There is a very simple solution to this problem; you seem to be making it more difficult than it is.

     

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  • You have gotten a ton of good advice on here, and I don't really have any new ideas.  I just wanted to tell you that I have been on the receiving end of a project like this, and it meant the world to me.  When I got married, all of my mom's cousins (so the generation above mine) gathered all the family recipes from the far-flung corners of the country, and put them in a binder for me.  Each one had a small note attched that said who it was from, and things like, "your grandfather's favorite dessert" or "great grandma got from her mom when she was in Finland as a child." 

    I know this project will be a huge pain in the butt for you, and I would say do it, but at the pace that you can.  I just wanted to encourage you with how much it means to the person receiving it.

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  • How many pages is the book?

    It sounds massive, so this may not be a timely solution, but this sounds like exactly the type of thing that should be made into a Tastebook or other recipe book.  It would entail typing the recipies and then designing the book. But, it would be wonderful when it was printed in a hard bound book, and you could make copies for everyone.  It would be a great gift for *next* Christmas.

  • I would tell her that it would be expensive to make copies and see if she is willing to pay for the copies, if so, then I would do it, but make sure she pays for it first. Let her know you don't want to send it because you dont want it to get lost in the mail or something like that ...
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