March 2010 Weddings
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I need your opinions!

I am really close to one of my co-workers, she just had her first baby. I  planned her baby shower at work and went over to see the baby with DH a week after she was born (brought a homemade lasagna). The baby is about 3 weeks old now and they are having an Open House/Baby Shower on Saturday. I originally RSVP'd as 'yes', DH has a game at 5pm and I was going to stop by for a bit before the game.

I just got a text from another football wife saying a group of the girls are arranging a late pre-game luncheon for the wives/girlfriends at a restaurant downtown as it is the last home game of the season. I can't really do both as my co-worker lives on the complete opposite side of the city (I am very south/central, she is very north-west, stadium/downtown is central). I want to go to the luncheon since I won't see a lot of these girls until next summer if the team doesn't make the play-offs (a lot go home to other cities for the off-season and we are moving soon).

Do you think it would be rude of me to send an apologetic e-mail to my co-worker saying that I can't make the "Meet The Baby"? I have already seen the baby, brought them dinner and purchased several gifts for her shower. I can ask if DH and I can come for a visit at another time. She already knows that DH has a game and I could only go for an hour anyway. There were 15-20 people invited (friends only) anyway so it's not like there won't be other people there. What would you do?

TTC #1 Since July 2011
BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
TTC on hold until December
image

Re: I need your opinions!

  • I probably wouldn't go... but this is coming from someone who still hasn't met their cousin's almost 6 month old baby.  How you get out of it has to be a little more tactful.  If you think that any of the other football girlfriends/wives will post pictures on FB, then you may want to say that you forgot you had a prior commitment since you had agreed to it early on in the season (or something along those lines).  Otherwise, you could just say something came up and you won't be able to attend.  You just don't want her to happen to see pictures (if they're posted) and find out that is why you couldn't attend all of a sudden. 
  • Good point.....I will probably just tell her the truth if I have to cancel. I hope she will understand, I asked DH last night and he felt like we have definitely made more than enough effort regarding the baby/showers.
    TTC #1 Since July 2011
    BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
    BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
    TTC on hold until December
    image
  • imageEDK2010:
    Good point.....I will probably just tell her the truth if I have to cancel. I hope she will understand, I asked DH last night and he felt like we have definitely made more than enough effort regarding the baby/showers.

    I have to tend to agree.  I don't know many people who would go through all of the lengths that you did.  And honestly, if she doesn't understand that would make me more upset (if I was in your situation) considering everything that I had already done. 

  • imageMisa125:

    imageEDK2010:
    Good point.....I will probably just tell her the truth if I have to cancel. I hope she will understand, I asked DH last night and he felt like we have definitely made more than enough effort regarding the baby/showers.

    I have to tend to agree.  I don't know many people who would go through all of the lengths that you did.  And honestly, if she doesn't understand that would make me more upset (if I was in your situation) considering everything that I had already done. 

    I agree with Misa, too.  You have done a lot, already met the baby and you are offering to stop by at another time.  I also agree about the picture thing...  If you hadn't seen the baby or done a shower, I think my response would have been different. 

    TTC #1 5/97 - PCOS dx 6/10 - Metformin 8/10 - Moved from Endo to RE 9/10 - 50mg Clomid 9/10 - 100mg Clomid 10/18 - BFP - Beta #1 = 91 - Beta #2 = 958 EDD 6/28/11 Tater Tot arrived 6/21/11 on his Great Grandmother's 90th Birthday
  • I'd have to ditto the previous posters; I think you've made a lot of effort.  Gracefully and honestly bow out, then have fun with the football wives!
  • I'm going against the grain here and saying, that even though you have been a great friend, you originally rsvp'd a yes, and should stick to that. Ditching the baby shower to go to a luncheon seems rude to me and think of how your friend will feel.

    Aren't you going to be seeing the football wives at the game? Perhaps you could hit a pub after if you really want to spend time with them.

  • imageKellieGaspard:


    Aren't you going to be seeing the football wives at the game? Perhaps you could hit a pub after if you really want to spend time with them.

    No we go out with our husbands after the game. We also are scattered in an entire section of 50 rows (20 seats each row) as we are given separate season tickets so we don't necessarily sit near each other and our stadium holds 63,000 so it's not small. Also this isn't really a social thing like getting together with your girlfriends, it looks bad on my DH if I don't show up especially since I do a lot of philanthropy work with the organization and need to encourage other girls to participate etc. It's a kind of "keeping up appearances" type thing.

    Anyway, I sent her a nice e-mail today and she was fine with it. I am going to try to go over next weekend to see the baby. Thanks for your encouragement!

    TTC #1 Since July 2011
    BFP #1 2/28/12- 3/3/12 CP at 4w3d
    BFP #2 4/1/12- 5/7/12 Missed M/C at 8w4d (measuring 6w3d)
    TTC on hold until December
    image
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