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Here's my vent
Ok, I'll talk. There's some TMI in here, just be warned.
So, it's pretty common knowledge that we're trying to get pregnant. And what do you have to do to get pregnant? Well, BD of course. BDing is pretty painful for me because of the endo. Usually I'm a "get in, get done" kinda gal. That also means that he doesn't have to spend any time warming me up, if you know what I mean. Sounds like a guy's dream right?
The other day, I was noting some stuff going on with my body and wondering if I was going to O. So I made several comments to DH that we should BD. I even tried to seduce him. But he couldn't keep it up. He tells me that it's not me and that he's attracted to me, but do you understand how sh!tty it makes me feel. This isn't the first time that it's happened either. You would think that after seeing how badly it tears me apart that he would try to do something about it. I don't care if he's uncomfortable talking to somebody about it. Do you know the crap that I've gone through in the past year? I've had more people look at my lady parts than I have fingers.
Thanks for listening girls!
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
Blog
TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7
FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
*~PAIFW/SAIFW~*
Re: Here's my vent
So sorry that you're going through that! To be perfectly honest (and only my IRL best friend knows this), DH and I went through a very similar thing over the summer. I got completely frustrated with it after a while and decided to just stop trying because my feelings kept getting hurt, even though he wasn't intentionally doing it - I couldn't help it.
Hope that you all can talk it out and work through it!! Easier said than done, I know.
Hugs!
BFP on 2.2.11
Alexander David
11.25.09
my blog
Oh I am so so sorry you are going through this!! I imagine a lot of women could find themselves in a similar position (I mean as far as their dh goes). I think that it can be a lot of pressure for a guy and I have to admit I am completly 'bent' on keeping dh out of the 'o' loop and just letting him know that I am feeling frisky' because I think too much info could be problematic. Of course this is having never gone through what you are right now, so many, many ::hugs:: your way.
October 11, 2008
Trusty Gal blog|Trusty Tales
Thank you so much for listening ladies!! He knows almost better than I do when I'm o'ing. And basically he knows because I actually have the desire to get busy at that time.
Linds - Thanks for being so open. It's nice to know that we aren't the only ones. I mean, we're still sorta newlyweds, he should be enjoying sexy time.
Oh, and it kills me inside when guys make comments about wives not putting out. Dumb insensitive jerks!
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
Blog
TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7
FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
*~PAIFW/SAIFW~*
More than welcome! It always helped me when I would realize I wasn't the only one dealing with those things.
And, ditto this!!
BFP on 2.2.11
DD'd for privacy. I know you guys will understand.
Feel free to PM me if you need to.
Wives Unscripted
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Just wanted to throw this out there in the hopes that it will maybe make you laugh.
Last night after dh and I went out and he had 'few' beverages, all I did was simply get into bed and this is what I heard.
"It's sleepy time now okay?"
Ugh, Seriously??? I went back downstairs to watch the news.
I've had this same experience w/ my H and it hurts my feelings/I take it personal/etc, and he tells me the same thing your H is telling you, however, I think I'm going to be in the minority here and say cut him some slack. It is completely different for men than women: if we aren't "in the mood" we throw in some lube and keep going, a guy doesn't have such an easy fix. My H could have too much on his mind, too much pressure, etc. Unless this is happening more often than not, I would not suggest a doctor or medication.
I'm not saying it doesn't suck or that you can't have your ego hurt a little, but he probably feels badly enough about it and you could be making it worse.
DD: 6-24-11
EDD: 9-20-14
I am sorry you are going through this, I am sure at 1 point most of us have been there.. I know that at the beginning of our relationship Mike couldn't keep it going.. He used medication for about 3 months.. He said I made him nervous. Your DH may also be nervous, this is not just romantic time, this may be when you conceive your child..
I hope everything works out for you
I agree with what Pooks, Summer, and Amy said. Could be stress/pressure of knowing that you are trying to get pregnant and that it is painful for you. I don't think this has anything to do with his attraction to you.
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
Blog
TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7
FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
*~PAIFW/SAIFW~*