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I need help, helping MIL.
My MIL has these meltdowns about once a week. They are usually in response to the average stresses of life. ex: they are selling a house, getting home to make dinner before she has an appointment, visitors are staying for the weekend.
The meltdowns are pretty severe and honestly, she has talked about suicide more than once. DH talked to a councilor about his mother and his suggestion was to first take her to her general practitioner to rule out any health or hormone issues.
She went to her general practioner about a year ago and he gave her anxiety medication and did not require a follow up. DH would like me to find another doctor for her to speak to before she starts seeing a theripist. Where would i start this search? Am I really looking for GP, or a specialist? What would the specialty be in. We want to get her help.
Re: I need help, helping MIL.
She doesn't need to see a medical Dr. before she seeks COUNSELING. Why do all of you thing so? You are just delaying the help she needs.
what is the reasoning behind the delay? She delayed therapy by one year already.
Find here a psychiatrist, a medical Dr, and a counselor! Stop delaying her treatment. The best way to find good Dr's is to get recommendations from other people.
Does your MIL realize that she needs help? Does she want help? Is she willing to see a doctor or therapist about this? If not, you are wasting your time (although maybe if you do the legwork she will be willing to go).
If you like her (or your) GP/ family doctor, ask them for recommendations. Make sure they are covered by your health plan.
There is nothing wrong with getting a full medical workup to rule out any medical cause for the issues. Counseling may also still be required, but a full physical never hurt anyone.
Beyond that, she needs a referral to a psychologist who can evaluate her to see if she needs a referral to a psychiatrist for the management of any medications she might be prescribed.
Well, its been a year and he/she seemed to rule-out any medical problems, right? Blood-work and such. There isn't much to do by way of finding a medical "cause" for anxiety. Sound like she has bouts of anxiety, at times severe. That's what the medication is for.
Since you identified environmental factors as trigger for the anxiety meltdowns, then a therapist could be very helpful. Dinner meltdowns? Can't she plan a simple meal,even soup or sandwich as a strategy? Weekend visitiors? Why is she hosting, at all ? Who are her supports Can she identify any? How can she seek their support/help?
Yeah, these are all therapist issues. Who, will have relationships with MD's for medication consults and prescriptions. Your (best) next move is to call her insurance company for referrals on her plan. Then call around to therapists for availabiity to take-on new patients. Then SHE needs to call your top two/three options and pick HER OWN favorite. Then go and keep going.
I would think a psychiatrist would be the way to go. They are trained to prescribe mental-health meds, and if they felt it would be helpful they would probably refer to a counselor as well.
Call your doc, or ask around to find the name of a good one. Sometimes they have long wait times to get in.
Yeah...no.
There's no better way to alienate someone and permanently prevent them from ever sharing their feelings or seeking help again, than having them hauled off by the cops the first time they open up.
Not a good strategy in helping someone learn to trust and seek assistance when needed.
Counseling doesn't need to wait for a physical, but the physical should be scheduled asap and be as comprehensive as possible. Many different moods/behaviors/mental illnesses can be physical in origin.
I'm with TarponMonoxide on this. Something very similar happened with my dad. We all tried to get him to go see a therapist/psychologist, but he wouldn't do it. He expressed suicidal thoughts and for a while no one did anything. Finally we called his primary doctor and told her what was going on, she called my dad and she told him that if he didn"t go to the hospital for an evaluation she was calling 911 to come get him.
At first he was beyond mad that his family would do this to him, but now he is properly medicated and a completely different person. After being evaluated and admitted, he ended up staying there for 3 weeks (he was diagnosed with clinical depression). He told us that he did indeed have a "plan" and if we had not made that call he would have tried to end his life.
So, not to scare the OP, but if someone is expressing suicidal thoughts to others, they could already be in the planning phase and should not be taken lightly. My dad's primary doctor was angry that we did not do something the very first time he mentioned it.
OP - if you want to talk feel free to PM me.
The first rule of thumb is to preserve life. If someone threatens suicide you are obligated to get them immediatelyl to someone who can assist them. If they are not willing to go the ER to be fully evaluated by a trained therapist--in conjunction with a psychiatrist-- you are well within your rights (and common sense) to call the police to transport that person to the ER.
Making nice and sharing your feelings will be really useless if they just popped 200 Xanax that they have been hoarding for the last year.
Get MIL to a psychiatrist--if you don't know one- contact your regional medical center or office of mental health for some recommendations. This physician can do a physical and mental evaluation--they can rule out medical/physical cause for her behavior and administer any meds they deem necessary. She can then be referred to a therapist/counselor for ongoing counseling (which is where the really hard work will happen).
The next time you hear this from her...you need to act. No one should suffer from a very treatable mental illness for years on end without care. She is begging someone to take her seriously and help her get help.
Good Luck!
She may not like it but for her own safety, she needed to be brought to a hospital.
It's also for the safety of others; what you're sitting on is a powder keg.
Indeed she can be suffering from something very treatable -- it can be anything from a chemical imbalance in her brain to a possible brain tumor/mass.
Health and happiness to you all. GL.
Unless there is a current suicide threat, YOU (that would be the OP) need to stay out of it.
This is something that YOUR DH needs to get off of HIS @$$ and do himself.
Outside of the fact that your involvment will just alienater her/ruin your relationship, his family is responsible for the situation as is.
THEY allowed this to happen these many years, they allowed her to either manipulate them or worse, have her mental health deteriorate with their inacton. Pamling off the work to you is just one more inaction on their part.
Make them take ownership or it really will never work (I can literally see them blaming you if something were to happen, since you did all the research).
That's some really good insight. I hearby ammend my previous post to say that your DH needs to be told to make the call to the insurance company and vet some qualified therapists and engage his mother.
And why is it that you're getting the assignment to find the new GP in the first place? Are you a doctor, do you work in a doctor's office or have special skills in identifying GP's? Why can't he take ownership on this? And it's been a year since the lackluster last GP visit. So why has he done nothing except give this to you to solve? I'm not trying to be snarky and it's fine for him to ask for help - but it's worth thinking about, and certainly worth considering as things move forward. HE is the best person in your partnership to plug-in, and deal with his mother's health needs.
http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=F2F25092-7E90-9BD4-C4658F1D2B5D19A0
Go to this website and read this link. It lists warning signs and imminent dangers; one of which is talking about suicide. It also lists what it is that you and others can do to help her; mainly GET HER HELP. As in, calling the police and having her taken to the ER for an evaluation.
She's talking about killing herself. She'll do it one of these days, and since your dh has fobbed off this job onto you, it'll be your fault (meaning his family will blame you, not that it's really your fault) you did the wrong thing. Get HIM involved in this; and get his mother some help.