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Should I have just let it go?
My best friend and I got in a pretty big fight the other day over instant messenger.
Long story short, she is dating a guy who is in his second year of residency at a hospital. She is losing her health insurance as of November 1st. She basically tells me that he is going to write her a whole bunch of prescriptions for things she "may need" over the next few months.
I voice to her my concerns. 1) I find this to be VERY unethical. 2) Essentially it's insurance fraud 3) I find it kind of ballsy of his to do this being such a "new" Dr 4) What if she happens to have an allergic reaction to something-how is she going to explain this situation to another doctor.
She tells me that I am completely overreacting and I'm crazy. I stood my ground and with my points above. She uses this whole-"you don't like him which is why you are making a huge deal out of this." Yes, I don't like him and it may have caused me to voice my opinion a little louder, but I find the situation to be completely insane.
Did I also mention he is a Dr. who once smoked pot in my driveway while in his car? (PS-didn't know until after it already happened-trust me, I would have FLIPPED out if I knew when it was going on).
I'm glad the health care industry is getting this winner.
Re: Should I have just let it go?
OK, I personally find this to be wrong on so many levels. Actually all the reasons you voiced, I agree with.
This dude will get his credentials ripped away as soon as he gets them with this attitude.
If it were me, I would prob say I love her and am glad she found someone but am concerned and wouldn't be a friend if I didn't express my concern and then try to drop it. She's going to do what she wants, regardless of your opinion, IMHO.
I agree that this just isn't right. Like you said, what if she has a bad reaction? How is that going to be explained when she has to go to the hospital?
I could only see this as okay if it was for something that she already takes, like BCP, and even then it seems like fraud to me.
Once I voiced my concerns, I'd drop it. Everyone in the situation is adults and they can make their own decisions.
This isn't the hill my relationship with my friend would die on.
I agree with you wholeheartedly that he's an idiot, they're both committing fraud, it's completely unconscionable...
AND I agree with this from Marcy.
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I agree with you wholeheartedly that he's an idiot, they're both committing fraud, it's completely unconscionable...
AND I agree with this from Marcy.
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Me too.
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So is she going to get them all filled at the same time? Because if so, they will probably end up going bad before she has a chance to use them. Well, they'll just be less effective, not really "bad".
Is this stupid? Yes. Is he being a cocky-know-it-all? Yes. But I agree with Marcy, you said what you had to so let it go there.
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I guess I should have stated that we are not, "not speaking."
I'm just annoyed that after we talked about it, she pretended the conversation never happened and that bothered me the most.
Maybe this anger just really comes from the pot smoking in my driveway last year, but I should have said something earlier. Guess I should just chose my battles and this isn't one I'm fighting this week!
Oh, over this, I'd be furious. I do NOT allow drugs on my property, in my house, or in my car. So he'd get a VERY strong reminder that this is unacceptable, and if anything of the sort ever happened again, he wouldn't be permitted anywhere near my home or vehicle.
All my life, if someone pulled out a joint at a party, I've left the party. I did that last summer when we were at a party at E's friend's house and another guest lit up. We left. I certainly don't allow it where *I* live.
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Out of curiosity, why does the pot smoking anger you so badly? Was he in his car? The fact that it was on your property? Did he come back into your house high?
I've never smoked anything in my entire life (except a burning paper plate when I was 10, but I digress). But pot smoking doesn't really bother me.
Just curious.
I have a hard time getting past things at times, and can let my attitude about past events taint my feeling moving forward. Totally understandable.
How would you prefer your friend to behave? I feel like acting as if the conversation never happened is the best case scenario. Do you want to have another long drawn out heart to heart?
How would you like her to respond moving forward?
The pot smoking angered me for a lot of reasons. First, it was at a NYE party we had at our home. My three small nephews and my entire family was present at the party. I don't want drugs around me, but bringing them around my family (including small children) really made me furious. Also, we only lived in our neighborhood for about 3 months at this point. I live in a VERY family friendly neighborhood and was upset that one of my neighbors may have known/heard about it happening. Also two of my neighbors are police officers in the area. It essentially was a very bad situation all around. OH and I live in a school zone as well, so he himself could have been in deep crap and my name would have been brought down in the situation being the owner of the home.
He stated he was going out to his car to get his sleepover stuff and I thought nothing of it until he came back into the house and I noticed something wasn't right. I didn't want to say anything at the time because there were a lot of people around so I just avoided the conflict.
In regard to her pretending it didn't happen, I just feel this major tension between us. I don't like tension and I like to typically be open and honest with my friends. For instance, if I do something to upset or piss someone off, I want to know. She on the other hand is the opposite, so I guess I just have to "deal" with her way of dealing.
I would have an extremely hard time getting over his behavior at the party. His track record would leave a chip on my shoulder about him as well.
I can't believe he did that...wow.
I agree with the others - you voiced your concerns, she didn't want to take it to heart, end of discussion. This dude seems like trouble, but oh well. I'd also have a hard time getting over what he did - that's so disrespectful on so many levels.
This!