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WWYD?
Alright ladies, what would you do???
My SIL is getting married in July 2011, she bought her dress yesterday, she has really low self-esteem, and an MOH who I strongly believes is one of those tell you that you look great in a really unflattering outfit so she can look better. That being said, SIL wedding dress- effing ugly. It doesn't come close to fitting her body type, shape, anything! I asked her if she liked it, and all she had to say was "well MOH said......." I have no idea what to do.
Then... I find out that MOH tried on BM dresses, picked out one she liked and bought it without any input from the freaking BRIDE! SIL asked if I liked it, I took one look at it and can't tell you I like it, plus MOH decided we are wearing heavy floor length gowns IN JULY, outside wedding thankyouverymuch! SIL was then like what am I supposed to do with BM's do you all wear the same dress, color, style, length - because big surprise, she didn't like the dress MOH picked out for herself. Awesome.
What would you do in this situation, just reinforce that everything is great and the wedding will be wonderful, or at least get the BM's in dresses she wants? As far as the wedding gown goes, she foolishly bought it, so nothing I can do there.
Re: WWYD?
I'd say pull the bride card (or have her do it). She gets one wedding (hopefully) and it damn well better be what she wants. The girl who bought her dress? Bummer. She's SOL. It's the bride's day.
Just my $0.02. And sorry if it sounds grumpy ... I have the grumps right now. :-)
I love my puppy ... and my husband, I swear!
I would tell the bride that it's her decision. The easiest thing here might be to have the bridesmaids in a different dress, something that they agree on and feel comfortable wearing outside. That way the MOH can still wear what she picked - but really, I think the bride has a right to say that these kind of decisions should be discussed with her, and that all the girls need to agree on style, budget, etc, with the bride getting final veto power. That's ridiculous.
As to the wedding dress...she may not be totally SOL. Some bridal shops take a while to put in the order, so she may be able to cancel and put her deposit toward a different dress from the same shop. I think that loving your gown is really, really important, so I would ask the bride if SHE loves it, not her MOH, and if she seems uncomfortable I would say something like, "You know, you may be able to cancel the order and put your deposit toward another dress. Maybe we should visit the shop, without MOH, and find out their policy, and perhaps try on some different styles." If she can't get a new dress, see what alterations can be done - new neckline, adding a sash or sleeves, etc. There are a lot of ways to change a dress.
I think you should say something to the bride. Don't tell her her dress is effing ugly, obviously, but let her know that she has options - like talking to the dress shop and having her deposit applied to a new dress, or buying another dress and selling the first one. If her wedding is still a good amount of time away, it's likely that the designer hasn't even started making the dress yet. I would let her know how important it is for her to *LOVE* her dress and the way she looks in it since she has to look at her wedding pics of her in the dress from now until the end of time. Just because she rushed into buying a dress doesn't mean she *has* to be stuck with it.
I also think she needs to put her foot down and get this MOH more in line with what her visions are for the wedding. The MOH never should have just bought a dress with no input from the bride or the other BMs.
Awful!
I'd have to say something. Tactfully of course.
I agree with ppl. I would say something. See what the bridal shop will do about her dress. Lots of ppl change their minds after they buy the first dress and they will put the dp toward another dress. I definitely think she needs to shop without the MOH and the BMs should wear what they and the bride wants them to wear. Let the selfish MOH wear the heavy dress in July!!!!
Hopefully she will listen and appreciate your input. Maybe another BM will have the same advise!!??