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Question about buying for cousins' kids
OK so I have 2 cousins, T and C. They are my 2nd cousins but they're first cousins to each other (their moms are sisters) and the two of them have always been BFFs. They're all OOS from us.
T and I have always been close; she's 8 years younger than I am, and had a baby this past spring. C is 10 years younger than I am and although she always followed me around when I was in high school, we haven't been close at all since we entered adulthood. She's on my FB but never answers e mails or anything and neither one of us invited the other to our weddings; not because it was personal, but just because we have a HUGE family & we're just not close enough (although I am very close to her brother and invited him, but he lives in the same state as his parents and she lived halfway down the map at the time and has a young child herself).
Anyhow I miss buying Christmas gifts for young kids now that my one friend's girls that I buy for are getting older, my cousins are adults, and my step daughter is at the 'tween age where toys are too "young" for her. I decided I want to buy for T's baby this year, and thought of bringing it to the family Christmas party provided the weather permits us to go (and in the event of a snow storm I would just send it to her).
But C and her DH recently moved back to their hometown as well, and will be at the Christmas party as well. I don't know if I'd look bad giving T a gift for her baby but not buying one for C's toddler. I am close with the two grandmas (they're my first cousins) and I'm thinking C's mom might be offended if I buy for her sister's grandchild and not her own, as I'm sure it might get back to her. Do you think I should give T's child her gift in private and make sure it stays on the DL, or should I go ahead and buy C's child a gift as well? Let me add, I have never even seen C's child in person.
Re: Question about buying for cousins' kids
Shmel's Blog
It's christmas buy for both kids. Be Santa for all kids!
This exactly. Once you start buying Christmas giflts for someone or their child its hard to break that cycle. So just don't start it. Buy T's child a gift but let her know that you didn't give a gift to everyone's child & don't want anyone to have their feeling hurt. I'm sure she will apreciate the gift and the fact that she needs to keep mum about it.
Torn down the middle so far!
Well, I think my main reason for asking is not because C would get offended but maybe more because her mom might, and especially because I wouldn't want C's little one to catch me giving a present to her baby cousin and not giving her anything.
Honestly I think if I were to e mail C and ask her what size her DD wears, she won't even reply because she never responds to messages. So I'd have to ask her mom, anyhow. I'll ponder it and keep checking back for more replies to see if a majority appears. I have until Black Friday!
I agree with this
How about...Give a gift to the baby only "because it's her first Christmas"
That way the other one doesn't feel bad and you are not expected to do it every year? Will that fly? You can maintain that tradition for future kids too?
Maybe what I'll do is go over her house early that day and give her the gift for the baby, that way it's not in front of everyone else.
So I was talking to my local cousin today (the only one in my mom's family that lives in MI) and she said she is also thinking of buying for T's baby because she's always been close with T's mom.
She agreed not to worry about buying for C's child because we're not close to her, and reminded me how neither one of us was invited to any of C's events (her wedding, baby shower, etc.) since her HS graduation 10 years ago. At least T did invite me, my mom, my sister and my local cousin to her baby shower, knowing we most likely wouldn't make it since it was on a Sunday in January and a 4.5 hour drive (9 hours for my sister). I actually would have taken that Monday off and gone, but I had red wings tickets for that day! LOL