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Grrrr Ex-wives SUCK!!!
First off Hayley not you of course you are awesome!!!
So my darling husband came with 4 kids. All by different woman I know... I know shaking my head.
A little back story...
This is the woman that DH and her had to bury their oldest child who would have been 3 when he passed away. They found out the were pregnant with this boy that I am talking about when they were dealing with all that. She decided that DH got her pregnant to replace this son and she became crazy obsessed with that and with her grief. DH ended up having to leave because she went off the deep end.
Anyway the next oldest will be 18 in June. DH pays child support for his kids and has as much contact as the mothers will allow. Well this boy DH has not seen since the boy was 9 or 10. It was horrible the mother told him that DH might try to kidnap him so the boy was on edge and DH ended up bringing him back early to his mom. The last time that he spoke with the boy the mother was in the back ground yelling that DH was a lier and that he did nothing for his son. The boy of course has been told all kinds of crazy stuff about DH. DH decided to just let things rest and kept paying child support and didn't try to contact him anymore because it was so horrible for him and his son. Figured years from now the boy will contact me if he wants to get to know his dad.
Fast forward to this weekend DH gets a message on myspace from the Mother of said son. "Congrats on your wedding...Your son is a hellion and is out of control can you please call me (her number) Its the very least you can do.
He just kinda said what the hell am I gonna do he doesn't even know me he doesn't respect me and he is gonna be 18 in 6 months. He hasn't called her yet.
As a mother of 3 girls and obviously divorced and remarried it makes me sick when woman or men do this. I want to slap this woman upside the head! She is lucky she is in california. How dare she you haven't let my husband have a relationship with this child and now you want him to step in when the going gets tough. Are you f'n kidding me. I want to call her and say he is so good to my daughters he is a wonderful man and now you want him to do something when its really pretty much a mute point are you kidding me. You have disrespected him at every turn. turned his son agianst him. Now you want help. You tell your son you don't get child support and you don't get medical insurance from him that he has never done anything for you. Now you want him to step in what the Hell stupid biatch.
Ok so I just really needed to get this out thank you ladies.
Yes I know I could start a soap opera with my husbands past!
Re: Grrrr Ex-wives SUCK!!!
Hahahaha Thanks for that clarification Pam
I'm not an Ex Wife quite yet though!
this lady sounds totally nuts, I'd want to punch her in the face too!
Oh, Pam, that just breaks my heart! I'm so sorry that you're all going through this. What an evil witch.
Your DH's ex sounds a lot like my MIL, from the story I've managed to piece together. Matt's dad dropped out of the picture when Matt was about 10, and the kids grew up thinking that he was a womanizing alcoholic deadbeat who didn't pay child support or care about his kids. That's what their mother told them. Of course, they had no reason to believe anything different; she had custody and they'd never been close to their dad's family.
When Matt and I first started dating, he had nothing good to say about his dad at all and they were hardly even on speaking terms. He also thought his mother was a saint. That has all changed in the last three years, though. We've come to see his mother for what she is. Matt has also come to believe that his dad may have backed out of the picture because he knew that their mom was making the kids feel bad for having a relationship with him. (I wouldn't be surprised a bit if she even did what Bernie's ex did and told him to get lost.) Matt and his dad do get along now and they talk on the phone every few weeks. I'd characterize it as a "warm" relationship, though not a close one.
Sadly, Matt's brother still barely speaks to their dad. He's also still under his mother's spell and believes all of the crazy stuff she tells him (whether it's family or health related). His wife sees things the way we do, though, and I keep hoping that someday he'll realize that his dad's actually a pretty nice guy who meant well and did the best he could.
I hope Bernie's son eventually comes to realize that he has a really awesome dad. It may take some time, but with a few years and some maturity and perspective, he could come to see his mom the way she really is and put two and two together. Matt didn't start getting a clue until he was 26, but better late than never.
Thats what I am wanting to know Stu! I have no clue what she expects. I think she is a moron! I wonder if she is looking at our family pics n stuff and expects us to take this kid into our home. Like bernie would even let that happen. Stupid Woman. I know he is his son but they are strangers. I can't wait to hear what she has to say bernie will have her on speaker phone when he talks to her. He wants me to atleast hear what she has to say.
whoa, that lady is crazy!
My moms husband has an ex-wife like that. Spews nothing but lies about the kids father and whatnot. She is the most evil woman I have ever met.
Hopefully it will all work out for you guys. Bravo to Bernie for taking the situation with such stride and responsibility.
I was a child in something very similar to this. My mother kept me away from my father for 15 years she told me lies from he didnt pay child support to he wanted nothing to do with me. I reached out to him when I was 21 and now we have an amazing relationship. We spend every hoilday together and talk to eachother once a week.
She returns his birthday cards? Thats awful! I'm really sorry you guys have to deal with someone like her. I don't have any experience with this kind of thing, but I hope it all works out for the best!
I can't believe that she returns his birthday cards! That is horrible. I'm glad that you're keeping track of everything-- if he ever gets to see all of that, it'll be hard for her to explain that away. And he'll see what a consistent, caring father he's had all along.
Interesting...yeah maybe she has an alterior motive. Hopefully not though.
That's a really good point! I know that MIL exaggerates and makes up all sorts of nonsense about people who don't jump to do her bidding. The kid could be resisting some of Mommy's insanity, and she could be responding by trying to get other people to turn against him.