Sex & Romance
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great sex . low desire . nfp?

My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married for almost 1. When we do have sex, it's amazing. Most people don't believe me, but we almost always O at the same time. Although it's great, I do have a low desire most of the time which annoys me. My husband never complains, but I know it could probably be annoying at times. I am pretty sure the low desire is because I'm on the pill because when I skipped a month a few months before my wedding to adjust my period schedule, I had extremely high desire. So that problem is solved. 

 My issue is, I really want to stop taking the pill for this reason and just to give my body a break from it. I have been on it for what I feel is too long and I loved being off of it. I am TERRIFIED of NFP! Although I want children probably in 2 years or so, I don't feel that we are ready yet and I'm afraid this method will fail us. 

 Please tell me your experiences with NFP - good and bad! Thanks  

Re: great sex . low desire . nfp?

  • NFP is as effective as you make it, with perfect use it is 99% effective, but you have to take responsibility for all your actions. I have been charting for both tta and ttc for over 6 years.

    It becomes second nature once you learn your thermal shift after one or two cycles. Get your DH involved so you both know what is going on.

    Talk with a teaching couple at www.ccli.org for NFP and they can answer all of your questions and teach you how to read your chart.

    Katie, PCOS since May 2005, Fostering since November 2010 Adoption since December 2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    *PCOS bio* *Cold Hands, Warm Heart*
  • I switched from the pill to NFP about 2 months before my wedding because I was tired of the cramps and weight gain that came with the pill and was excited to learn more about a natural method. I'm in the same boat as far as not wanting to get pregnant for a couple years (I'm still in school) and I now LOVE knowing my body and letting my husband share the BC responsibility with me. I'm very happy with my choice but would recommend you do your research and make sure your hubs will be ok with abstaining about a week and a half each month (depending on your charts)

    I would recommend you pick up "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. (about $18)  I learned about the Billings Method from church but I've learned a lot more from Taking Charge. It takes me about a minute or two each day to chart and it's nice to know that once we do want to get pregnant we'll have a much better chance of success.
  • Definitely read TCOYF. And you might want to go over to the Catholic board of TK as their are a lot of ladies over there currently doing NFP. I am still in the process of reading the book and H and I are looking to start it in the near future.
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  • I am interested in this too.  Both for TTC and to get off birth control because I have been on it for many years.  I started looking into charting, is it just charting your temps to figure out when you ovulate?   I will look for that book tomorrow...
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  • I had the same issues, low drive on BCP but on them for so long I was nervous about NFP. My cycles off of the pill were very strange, anywhere from 40-60 days long, and I ended up thinking it was a safe time when it wasn't. Note my signature picture;) just be cautious, and be prepared for the consequences:)
  •  

    Geez...now I am nervous.  Condoms it is for a few month.  but I am dying to get off the pill.  However your son has an awesome bday!!

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  • I appreciate all of the responses ... as well as the warnings. I know it's not something to take lightly and I'm going to really need to focus to make it work & be careful. 

     Although I'm not ready for children- switching to this method is obviously a  higher change of getting pregnant than the 99% on BC, but i think im willing to take that chance. If I followed it carefully and I still happened to get pregnant, I would never regret it or be upset. I can't wait to be a mom and although i'm not ready at the moment it would be a blessing no matter when it happens. 

     I WILL go buy the book right away in my best attempt to give myself the two more years that I think we need ;)  

     

  • I've been using FAM (fertility awareness) to avoid for over 3 and a half years and we NEVER want kids. It's the only kind of BC I trust because I am in control. Like some of the PP have said it's as effective as you want to make it. Since having a kid would be one of the worst things I can imagine, I am EXTREMELY conservative with the rules. We never go unprotected before the fertile time, abstain completely during the fertile time, and then are good to go after ovulation is confirmed. We never break these rules. Our wedding day was 2 days before ovulation and we still stuck to the abstaining rule! We probably would have been fine with condoms, but I would have been freaking out so much I wouldn't have enjoyed the honeymoon. Now, I am crazy about it - you don't have to be this strict with it. Just remember that if you do use a barrier method during the fertile time, you risk the failure rate of that method. 

    Definitely read the book and educate yourself. Take as much time as you need to learn. The book says give yourself 3 months before you rely on it completely. I took 7 months. Like I said - paranoid! :) Since you're coming off the pill though it will probably take some time for your cycles to regulate, so keep that in mind.

    Oh extra bonus benefit - you are NEVER unprepared for your period! Your temperature plummets the day you are going to get your period. So even if it's not there in the morning, you can guarantee it'll happen that day. Also, it's just nice to know what's going on. For example, this month I ovulated almost 3 WEEKS later than usual! If I wasn't charting I would be hysterical for 3 weeks waiting for my period. But since I know the exact day I ovulated - totally no worries!

    Best of luck! Check our tcoyf.com for some very helpful forums and info.

    :) 

     

  • Love, love, love NFP. I was on the pill and have all sorts of problems (break though bleeding, cysts, no period for weeks, and weight gain). Once I started NFP it all went away. At first, I was like "did I O?" but finally can see a pattern. Plus, when I saw that my cycles were 30-33 days I knew I wasn't pregnant because I O'ed later that month. I am so happy knowing what is going on with my body. It's quite empowering.
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  • I am right there with you! I have only been married for a month and honestly, my sex drive is way low, but when we do have sex -- it's fantastic. I just feel like when it comes down to it, I don't want to have sex at the risk of getting pregnant. I am not emotionally or FINANCIALLY ready to have a baby. But, here is the thing, I am on the pill and even though I know my sex drive will rise and I will lose the pill weight that I gained, I cannot go off it. But, STILL, even though I have been on the pill for nearly 4 years, I still fear getting pregnant. I watch those shows like "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" and I get really scared... what if that happened to me? I am one paranoid little girl, obviously! But, when we first were together and I was on the pill, we were having sex one to two times a day... I wasn't scared at all! But for some reason, I am really and I mean REALLY scared of becoming preggers too soon!

     Bottom line -- nfp is not an option for me. I am too much of a worry wart to even get off the pill, let alone drop everything all together! I think that maybe your best bet is to talk about it with your dr. and see what he/she says. It might be time to try a different birth control...  

  • imagefuturemrsmagnan:

    I am too much of a worry wart to even get off the pill, let alone drop everything all together! I think that maybe your best bet is to talk about it with your dr. and see what he/she says. It might be time to try a different birth control...  

     

    I thought that too at first! But the thing is, I can look at my chart throughout my cycle, see exactly when I had sex and what my fertility status was. I can also tell from my charts that I'm not pregnant. (Your temperature is low before you ovulate, then it gets higher and stays there until it drop for your period. If you're pregnant, it would stay high.) I have seen "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" and can say with 100% certainly that could never happen to me. Even if I was pregnant, not only would I know, I would also know WHEN it happened! Knowing and understanding what's going on has really helped reduce my fears. And believe me, I am hysterically scared of pregnancy and I have no use for children! My H has said he'll get a vasectomy at some point, but I am so crazy about not getting pregnant I would probably still abstain during the fertile time! See - paranoid!  

  • I think I am more relaxed using FAM than when I was on the pill because I wll KNOW my body and when I ovulate (I just started this month so we're still using condoms for a long while).  Honestly, if you're a worry wart I think this is one of the best options out there and it's better for your body to not be on all those hormones.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • What about trying I different type of pill? Talk to your doctor....maybe there's something else out there for you.
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