To help me with a Women's Studies discussion...answer if you have time/are interested. Thanks ladies!
Whom do you consider to be in your family?
What relation do these people have to you?
Do/did all of these people live in the same house?
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child?
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family?
...emotional well being of the family?
Was your family closely connected to extended family?
If so, which members and in what ways?
Re: Family poll
Whom do you consider to be in your family? My dad, brother, sister, BIL, two nieces, DH, my SIL and BIL and the IL's
What relation do these people have to you? I have a great relationship with everyone in my family except MIL & FIL.
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? No. My dad and brother live together, sister and BIL, 1 of 2 nieces live together (the oldest lives with her mom most of the time). SIL (DH's sister) and BIL live together. MIL, FIL and BIL live in the same house.
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? I would say my mom as she took a bigger role in caring for me as she was SAHM up until I was 8 yrs old. This is not to say my dad did not take any responsibility in caring for me at all.
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? My dad at first and then it was both my mom and dad.
...emotional well being of the family? definitely my mom
Was your family closely connected to extended family? Yes, for the most part. As we got older, we grew apart. This is for my dad's entire side of the family. My mom's side of the family was only my 2 uncles who I have only met 3x in my life.
If so, which members and in what ways?
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Whom do you consider to be in your family?
Immediate family: My parents, sister, brother, ILs, SIL/ BIL; Grandparents (1 grandmother for DH, 1 for me who are living; the rest are deceased/ I also had 1 adopted grandmother who raised my mother [nanny])... and DH (almost forgot him... don't tell him that!)... and the animals. (I do kind of consider my aunts/ uncles & 1st cousins in my immediate family too).
Extended: Aunts/ Uncles, cousins (1st, 2nd-- we keep in touch with at least our 5th cousins to some extent); our summer community (no one is related to us but we referred to my grandparents generation as Nana FirstName, or Aunt/ Uncle; My parents generation is aunt/ uncle & our generation are more like cousins)
What relation do these people have to you?
See above
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? No
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? My parents-- but in the summer, everyone in our community really took turns (this community has been together since my mother was 2 so we are extremely close). My dad did take care of me for my first year of life because I was a really sick newborn.
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? My dad worked full-time plus... was never really home.
...emotional well being of the family? My mom
Was your family closely connected to extended family? Too much soo... My dad's side used to have Passover Sedars with everyone from my great-grandmother's family (she had 12 siblings I think- so all those offspring etc). My mom's family is/was very close as well-- we had cousins in PA who were some how related to my grandfather (maybe his first cousin?) who we wanted to consider to be our grandparents. At my grandmother's 90th birthday this summer, we had no idea who half the people were but I at least knew they were "cousins".
In comparison, DH only sees his first cousins on his dad's side at funerals and on his mom's side at certain holidays if that.
The difference in definition of family for us has been a hard thing to balance... he's overwhelmed by my family; I'm shocked by the lack of connectedness of his.
If so, which members and in what ways? see above
Whom do you consider to be in your family? DH, mom, dad, brother, my gram, MIL, FIL, SIL, both sets of DH's grandparents (12 total)
What relation do these people have to you? What?
(eta) I suppose the relation is explainitory from the above- inlaws are by marriage
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? No, but I do live with MIL and FIL. (oye)
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? Mom and Dad, mostly mom I suppose.
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? I'd say dad, because he overtly worried about the finances, but I always saw my mom paying the bills- dad paid the mortgage straight out of his pay check.
...emotional well being of the family? Both... but I always remember having the harder conversations with my dad.
Was your family closely connected to extended family? Yes, moreso than first aunts and uncles (because they lived all over the country) so second cousins were a big part of my life.
If so, which members and in what ways? Like above, lots of holidays with second cousins, and "aunts" and "uncles" (they were my mom's cousins)
Whom do you consider to be in your family? DH, Mom, Dad, Sister, MIL, FIL, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins.
What relation do these people have to you? See above!
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? No
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? Mom and Dad
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? Dad
...emotional well being of the family? Mom and Dad
Was your family closely connected to extended family? VERY
If so, which members and in what ways? All members. Get togethers for all holidays, reunions each summer, gifts given, phone calls made, all living very close to each other, family attending all important events (graduations, prom pictures etc). About a million reasons I'm probably missing!
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Whom do you consider to be in your family?
Mom, Dad, Sister, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Great-Aunts & Uncles, Second cousins, In-laws, Neices & Nephews
What relation do these people have to you? Blood relations or blood relations of husband
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? Nope.
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? Mom. Parents were divorced when I was 3.
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? Mom
...emotional well being of the family? Mom
Was your family closely connected to extended family? Very close with my maternal Grandma & Grandpa. Regularly saw many of my second cousins who lived close.
If so, which members and in what ways? Since my parents were divorced, my grandparents helped out a lot. We didn't have babysitters a lot. Grandma or Grandpa would look after us, drive us to activities, school, etc. when my mom was busy, and look after us when mom was out of town for work. We would go over for dinner once a week.
My mom was also close with one of her cousins & his wife, so we would travel to visit often and stay with them and visit with all sorts of relatives who lived near by. We also had one of my mom's cousins who lived 2 blocks from our elementary school, so we went there before and after school every day for 3 years.
Whom do you consider to be in your family? Immediate family: DH, my parents, my brother/his gf, MIL, SIL. Extended: Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.
What relation do these people have to you? See above. Growing up, those I lived with (parents, brother) were my immediate family. Now obviously DH and his mother/sister are part too. The funny part is that when we have child(ren) I would assume s/he/they would consider DH and I and themselves as the "new" immediate family, and my parents and brother will be their extended family, even though right now I consider them my immediate family. It's kind of interest how immediate verses extended changes.
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? No (DH/me, parents/brother - I grew up with them and moved back for 2 years after graduation, SIL has her own place but still does spend time at MIL's)
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? My mom - she was a SAHM.
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? My dad. Now the rolls are reversed. My mom went back to work when my brother (3 years younger than me) was a senior in HS. My dad was laid off and still hasn't found another permanent job.
...emotional well being of the family? Both, I guess.
Was your family closely connected to extended family? Close with my mom's side because most lived in state. Most of my dad's family lives OOS or in Canada.
If so, which members and in what ways? See above. My paternal grandparents have a "summer" house in VT so sometimes we all met up there for holidays. Usually we were with my mom's side.
Whom do you consider to be in your family? immediate family: DH and I, my parents, MIL/FIL, my brother
What relation do these people have to you? husband, all 4 parents, sibling
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? no. DH and I live together, MIL/FIL live together, my parents live together, my brother lives alone
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? both of my parents
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? both of my parents, mainly my dad
...emotional well being of the family? both of my parents, mainly my mom
Was your family closely connected to extended family? extremely
If so, which members and in what ways? We are very close with aunts/uncles/cousins, second cousins etc. My cousins are some of my best friends, and growing up we all played together more often than with non-family friends. We have cousins' dinners every couple months now that we're all grown. Holidays are a HUGE deal in my family and there's usually 50+ people for those parties. It's amazing and I'm fortunate to have such a close and beautiful family!
A+S | Met 8/24/06 | Married 9/27/08
Started TTC 12/2008 | dx PCOS 5/2009
6 failed clomid/femara/TI cycles, 1 failed clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycle
Successful Cycle: 5/12/11 - 1000mg Metformin + 100mg Clomid(late response) + TI = BFP
? 2/13/12 - We proudly welcomed our daughter, Hadley Teresa! ?
? Lots of Luck to all of 3T/IF ?
What relation do these people have to you? see above
Do/did all of these people live in the same house? No
Who had primary responsibility for caring for you as a child? mom and dad - mom SAH until I was 10, but my dad was just as responsible for raising us
Who was primarily responsible for the financial well-being of the family? my dad until I was 10 when my mom went back to work. He's still the breadwinner by far, and always has been. my mom works purely because she wants to
...emotional well being of the family? mom and dad
Was your family closely connected to extended family? yes with my mom's side, yes with my ILs (both sides - though my FIL's side is much larger than my MIL's), not really with my dad's side
If so, which members and in what ways? my mom tries to get her family together at least once a year (no one lives local to each other, so it's difficult). We see MH's grandparents, aunts/uncles, and cousins multiple times a year - almost every holiday, and a few times over the summer since we're all on the Cape most weekends.