Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Mechanical sex
So when I met my husband I was a virgin. We fooled around but waited until marriage for actual sex. Anyhow, b/w dating and marriage I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had two cysts removed. Sexual penitration was difficult. We've been working on it and finally we suceeded in penitration. However, it didn't seem really that romantic. I was clueing him in a lot of the time and then I got excited before he really did. It just didn't seem to natural.
Re: Mechanical sex
I don't really understand what your question is, if you're even asking one.
But I have two words for you: ORAL SEX.
Huh?
I don't understand the part about clueing him in and getting excited. Please explain.
Sex,..like life itself, is what we make it. There is NOTHING "romantic" about penetration or any of the mechanics of sexual intercourse. Intercourse, in itself, is NOT lovemaking, it's just copulation the same as other animals on this planet....But, because we are human we are able to add our love and emotions to it....and, it's just one of the several methods of communication that lovers can use......
Once we learn how to use the mechanics of sex as vehicles for expressing love and lust we have made that massive step from craft to 'art',...which is the expression of our emotions and feelings.
Why don't you ask your man that, "now you know how to get it on, could you try to make love to me please".... That way you may be able to get him to forget the "penitration" and think about the 'motion of the ocean' instead......
.........Remember, that when you learned to dance you had to learn the steps first and that was NOT dancing, it was, well, just leaning the steps! It only became dancing when you used the steps to 'dance'......
- You're going to have to learn about each other, a lot of this is telling your partner "I like this" "I don't like this" "try this" Move here"... You SHOULD clue each other in on what to do because everyone likes different things, this is how you get good at turning each other on.
- You get excited before him..this is normal, it's not like the movies, you're not going to both finish at the same time all the time, some times you'll finish first and then he will, some times he'll finish first and you can get him to play with you more so that you get off too.
-Sex isn't always romantic, get that notion out of your head a bit, sure it can be, but it's also rough, messy, sometimes awkward, sometimes you make noises and laugh...it's not all disney.
-foreplay - try oral on each other if you haven't yet, it's a great way to learn what the other person likes...and it'll make sex easier.