Sex & Romance
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Mechanical sex

So when I met my husband I was a virgin. We fooled around but waited until marriage for actual sex. Anyhow, b/w dating and marriage I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had two cysts removed. Sexual penitration was difficult. We've been working on it and finally we suceeded in penitration. However, it didn't seem really that romantic. I was clueing him in a lot of the time and then I got excited before he really did. It just didn't seem to natural.

Re: Mechanical sex

  • I don't really understand what your question is, if you're even asking one.

    But I have two words for you: ORAL SEX.

  • Huh?

    I don't understand the part about clueing him in and getting excited.  Please explain. 

  • Sex,..like life itself, is what we make it.     There is NOTHING "romantic" about penetration or any of the mechanics of sexual intercourse.   Intercourse, in itself, is NOT lovemaking, it's just copulation the same as other animals on this planet....But, because we are human we are able to add our love and emotions to it....and, it's just one of the several methods of communication that lovers can use......

     

    Once we learn how to use the mechanics of sex as vehicles for expressing love and lust we have made that massive step from craft to 'art',...which is the expression of our emotions and feelings.

     

    Why don't you ask your man that, "now you know how to get it on,  could you try to make love to me please"....     That way you may be able to get him to forget the "penitration" and think about the 'motion of the ocean' instead......

     

    .........Remember, that when you learned to dance you had to learn the steps first and that was NOT dancing, it was, well, just leaning the steps!   It only became dancing when you used the steps to 'dance'......

  • - You're going to have to learn about each other, a lot of this is telling your partner "I like this"  "I don't like this" "try this" Move here"... You SHOULD clue each other in on what to do because everyone likes different things, this is how you get good at turning each other on.

    - You get excited before him..this is normal, it's not like the movies, you're not going to both finish at the same time all the time, some times you'll finish first and then he will, some times he'll finish first and you can get him to play with you more so that you get off too.

    -Sex isn't always romantic, get that notion out of your head a bit, sure it can be, but it's also rough, messy, sometimes awkward, sometimes you make noises and laugh...it's not all disney.

    -foreplay  - try oral on each other if you haven't yet, it's a great way to learn what the other person likes...and it'll make sex easier.

  • Sex isnt (and shouldnt be!) like the movies portray! Think of it as a wonderful opportunity to comminicate with each other. Ask him what he is liking, tell him whats working for you. Talk to your gyno, you could have a physical issue that is causing the pain. Just by informing my doctor that it hurt we found out that I have  pelvic floor muscle tension problems and physical therapy is helping to address them. I also agree with many of the other posts, you can have fun without having intersourse every time. Take it slow, be patient with yourself, and overall, enjoy the journey!
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