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How to cope after DH was made redundant from his job
...as a computer programmer on Wednesday after 22 years. I had just received an email from him about meeting up for lunch when he rang me and said "I've just been made redundant." They gathered his whole floor in a group and said "There will be some redundancies today. Go back to your desks and if your phone rings, pack up your desk and come upstairs." DH got the phone call, packed his desk, went upstairs, was told they were restructuring, asked to return his laptop and security passes, handed some brochures from their outsourcing person and basically told he could leave straight away. After 22 years.
I think we're both shell shocked. He seemed OK on Wednesday but I think the shock is starting to set in. He got this job straight out of college so it's the only life he's ever known.
I am self employed as an attorney. Leading up to Christmas it's pretty busy but then the work drops off and doesn't really start to pick up again until about April. So I'm really worried about the financial aspect of things. It's not easy to get paid on time either.
The other aspect to all of this is, I've gone from being the minor income earner whose income paid for things like projects for the house and vacations, to being the sole income earner and he is now doing his work experience with me as well. (DH is studying law. He is required to do some work experience, normally post completion of his course so he's in the process of applying to start early and have some experience accepted retrospectively).
He's always been fantastic around the house, shared household chores etc but now it feels like role reversal and I'm really struggling getting my head around it. For example, we got home from Court yesterday. I had several lengthy reports to write and it took about 3 hours to write them all. So DH started sorting laundry, tidying up etc. Up to Tuesday - that was me, as I would get home after Court and have the reports done before DH got home from work.
DH estimates about 50 people were made redundant on Wednesday. It's a blessing that DH has as he calls it "a parachute." I'm not sure what to do.
Re: How to cope after DH was made redundant from his job
As stressful as your situation is, try to relax a little. Stay on top of your finances, etc., but let DH control his career. Take it day by day. Enjoy the fact that your DH is doing more around the house- that will give you both more time together!
Be supportive, but also help encourage him to keep on top of either his schooling or job search.
This happens. And yes, to those who have served many many years on the job. Sorry this happened to you.
Even rougher still, he is in his 40s. It's not an easy time for anybody these days jobwise.
Pinch your pennies and yeah, stay on top of your finances. Good luck; hope something turns up for him real soon.
I hope your husband finds a new position soon. One thing he might want to look into, if this turns into a long term situation, is doing volunteer work. It will help bridge the gap in his resume, and give him a productive, fulfilling use of his time. Look into animal shelter, soup kitchens, libraries, whatever it is that he's interested in.
I was out of work for eight months, and although I didn't end of volunteering, although I signed up to be put on the waiting list for library volunteers, I ended staying very busy helping out my family as my mother underwent treatment for breast cancer (she is now cancer-free and going strong!
). I was constantly back and forth between home and my parents' on the other side of the city, going with Mom to chemo, helping with housework/care-taking after her surgery, etc.)
The point being, your husband staying busy, job-hunting, volunteering, doing housework/whatever, should help fend off depression about the job situation. If there are times that he his down, just be there for him and offer encouragement.